Elin W Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 I’m starting to understand more and more how heavy this norm is and how hard it is to go against it…. Its hard because it’s so subtle. Not many people think of it being a norm in the first place, right? They simply take it naturally, that everyone falls in love or wants to fall in love. im 38 years old now, and in the beginning of this year I realised I was aromantic and also asexual. It was liberating for me - I didn’t have to pressure myself anymore, there’s nothing wrong with me, there are others who feel the same! And there are other ways to form meaningful relationships, you just have to think outside the amatonormativity box. But even if I know those things it’s still hard. Because the rest of the society and the ones I know - in my workplace, my family (especially my mom) and friends don’t know about aromanticism. They’d still think there’s something wrong with me, that my life is sad without love and so on. I guess it’s hard to re-think one’s life for yourself too? I still can feel an emptiness inside of me when I’m thinking of my future being single and without family. I don’t have a strong desire to have kids of my own so that’s not a big issue in itself BUT the issue is the way I’m thinking of my life - the society norm is so strong that children and family life is what makes a life meaningful, that it really gets to me when my mom asks questions like “Aren’t you going to have children? What are you going to fill your life with?” I can’t tell her about the year I’ve had, going through an identity crisis, making new friends, thinking of lgtqia+, learning new things because she’s against everything lgtbqia+ and pride. Therefore when I tell her about this year being tough she doesn’t understand me, of course. She probably thinks it’s tough because I’m single ? It’s very complicated. Thanks for reading my rant ? I hope maybe somebody can relate to all this. I also have a lot of feelings of empowerment and liberation thinking about breaking norms and so on, I guess this week I’m just tired and it feels very heavy to stand outside the amatonormativity. To not fit in. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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