WaywardHeroine Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 So first, hello! I'm Katie and I'm new. Second, I have a bit of a dilemma: I think I’ve dated a lot of people for someone definitely on the aromantic spectrum (I assumed I was biromantic until recently, but I think that was just denial, to be honest). My current partner and I have been together for over six months now. When we first met, we clicked immediately, and I was even a little jealous when they started chatting with the other people in our group. Afterwards, we started texting, and things just fell into place. This was the first relationship I’ve ever actively pursued. I really really wanted this person in my life. The thing is, lately I’ve found myself trying to avoid them- making excuses to get out of dates, or finding a reason to be busy on the weekend to avoid hanging out. It’s gotten really bad in the last couple of months. I’d write it off as just me being an introvert, but I don’t get this kind of anxiety when I’m just hanging out with my friends. It’s kind of hard to explain, but whenever my partner asks to make plans, I become irrationally and unreasonably defensive, like they’re encroaching on my space or personal time. I know it’s stupid, and I feel awful, but I don’t know what to do about it. This isn’t the first time this has happened, either. In my past relationships it would happen all the time. I would be friends with a person, they would confess, and as soon as we started “dating” a switch would be flipped, and I would immediately engage avoidance procedures. I would get ticked off whenever they would wish me goodnight, or ask how my day was, and I didn’t want to hang out as frequently, even though we’d been hanging out as friends for months. Not to mention that every time we kissed, I would be counting the seconds, and cuddling made me incredibly uncomfortable. I assumed those feelings of “wrongness” was just because I wasn’t with the right person. I’m really worried now, because I care very deeply about my current partner. I don’t want to feel this way, but lately I have this voice in my head saying, “Okay, is it over yet?” I really like this person, but I don’t understand why I feel the need to avoid them. Am I just being irrational? How should I deal with these feelings? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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