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how to explain aexuality to someone


Evelyn
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That is a tough one...at a certain point if he won't hear it he won't hear it, but if the literal definition isn't cutting it then maybe try comparisons to something he knows? Like, bring up someone you know he is very-much-in-no-way-attracted-to-at-all, bonus points if it is a girl in his age range, and ask how he KNOWS he isn't attracted to that person, or to focus on that lack of feeling and say that likewise, you feel that lack of feeling with everyone. Allo people DO know what not feeling attraction to a specific person feels like, but they struggle with the idea that someone wouldn't experience it, so bringing the idea to something more "grounded" might help. As for romance, all I can think for explaining it is 'I have never had any experience resembling how people describe crushes' or something similar...really there's only so many ways to describe something without going into analogies (which you could try! I don't know any good ones offhand though, but it could be a helpful tool).

 

Dunno if this helps, but hopefully your friend comes around eventually!

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Also make clear asexuality and aromanticism are orientations and not a choice. Asexuality has nothing to do with celibacy, only waiting until marriage or to save yourself up for "the one"  and aromanticism isn't the conscious decision to stay single (though it can result in it).

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5 minutes ago, NotHeartless said:

Also make clear asexuality and aromanticism are orientations and not a choice. Asexuality has nothing to do with celibacy, only waiting until marriage or to save yourself up for "the one"  and aromanticism isn't the conscious decision to stay single (though it can result in it).

Also make it clear that they are different things and should not be conflated.

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On 2/5/2019 at 6:29 AM, Naegleria fowleri said:

Or as my professor once put it, "So it's like being a straight boy in a room full of straight boys."

You could leave it at "straight boy in a room full of boys"; "straight girl in a room full of girls"; "gay boy in a room full of girls" or "lesbian in a room full of boys".

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  • 2 months later...

Letting your friend watch this youtube channel called, "Slice of Ace" could be a good start. It seems to cover most common questions about asexuality and sometimes aromanticism. Throwing in some comics about the experience might visually help him understand as well.

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One thing that can be useful in general is explaining the difference between sexual attraction and libido.  Food metaphors can also be useful for explaining attraction in a more tangible way.  

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