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dewy

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Everything posted by dewy

  1. Definitely sexual orientation. Like someone else here said, it's less nebulous of a concept. I am also a romance favorable aro so that makes me feel a bit unsure. For me aesthetic attraction is just "oh, they're pretty" and with sexual attraction I might feel arousal and/or think about doing ~things~. They are connected though, best way I can explain it is like this. Please be nice to the diagram, I rushed it.
  2. I'm trans and I don't really play this gender 3d chess. Usually I dress more traditionally masc/androgynous but sometimes I dress fem simply because I want to. If people see me as a girl, fuck it, not like I don't get that all the time already (I'm not fully out). Really all I think about when I'm choosing clothes is if it's comfortable, looks nice, and matches :p
  3. Bass clarinet, some types of saxophones (although they make me think of careless whisper so i don't know)
  4. You might find the label nonpartnering applicable
  5. Found out I was aromantic when my friend found out they were ace and started talking about it, kinda why I think it's important for me to talk about my aro experiences. It can help spread awareness and help others figure things out. I thought I was asexual at first, maybe since that's what my friend mainly talked about since he found out he's ace first, then aro. I guess I related to the lack of attraction but ace still didn't feel quite right. Identified as gray-aroace or simply aspec for a while, also tried the label aroace but it didn't feel right. Then I started questioning being aroallo, so I started looking for more information about that, ended up finding this forum where I could read about other aro people's experiences. That helped, and eventually I figured it all out. I think.
  6. Haha Plagg's been mentioned here before, I believe on a topic in this subforum. The people there were talking about how aro cheese should be a thing and I totally agree!
  7. I feel like almost any large instrument could qualify. Like, I don't know how I'd feel about someone trying to serenade me with a tuba.
  8. Used to be sure I wanted a romantic relationship but now I'm not sure. Still figuring things out, it's just a "maybe" for me right now.
  9. If you feel the label fits, then by all means use it. I'm aro and I love fictional romance, but feel lukewarm at best about actually having a romantic relationship. As Arsenic said, it doesnt affect your romantic orientation. Lots of arospec people enjoy shipping and fictional romance.
  10. I've never been in that kind of relationship as I only recently found out I was aroallo and came to terms with it. But to answer your second question, yes, I feel some of my loved ones would judge me for it. This is partially why I haven't told my family I'm aromantic. I've started being more open with my friends about being aroallo, though. It's mostly been positive - even helped my friend find out about aroallo as an identity, and that they identify with it - and I feel it's important for me to be completely honest about my identity. But I do fear judgement. Luckily I haven't received much, most people seem pretty chill with it. One time though, when I was talking about being aroallo in a group chat, one of my friends said something like "oh that's just me when I'm feeling sociopathic and horny". Said it was a joke but I did not find it funny (like seriously, that's not the same thing at all >_>)... it felt like a glimpse behind the curtains of what people really think about us aroallo folks. Comparing sexual attraction without romantic attraction - and just aromanticism in general - to sociopathy... is not it, even if it's meant to be a joke. I don't get it, it's quite common for some alloallos to experience that as well. Is it just "redeemed" because there's more of a chance of romance happening as well? I think amatonormativity affects aroallo people in a unique way, and this is an example of that.
  11. No need to limit ourselves to just one aro instrument. How about drums?
  12. Can we please have trumpet be the aro instrument? My reasoning is, trumpets are typically quite loud so they wouldn't be the best instrument to romantically serenade someone with. - an aro trumpet player
  13. I'm offended because you're offended for no reason
  14. Many have had friends neglect their friendship in favor of a romantic relationship. And I may just be aro but I feel like a lot of unhealthy thoughts and behaviors (i.e obsession, possesiveness...) are excused or normalized because of romantic attraction. I also know some people will get quite upset having confessions be rejected, and I wonder if part of that is romance being seen as something you need.
  15. Kris from Deltarune, their gender is never explicitly stated but they're always referred to with they/them.
  16. I used to kinda feel that way but I think it's because I feel a bit weird about being attracted to real people, like afraid I'm objectifying them or being creepy I guess
  17. literally cant figure out what makes romance different from friendship. i honestly think i'll never really know, i don't think it can be described.

    1. jjaee_jaee

      jjaee_jaee

      same here! to me, a romantic relationship is literally a friendship that means it's more socially acceptable to be touchy. it blows my mind to try and understand when allo folks describe the 'difference'  to me. 

  18. Haha personally as an aroallo that's not what I usually think, but I suppose I have those kinds of moments where I realize someone is hot in that way. For me it is more something I feel than think.
  19. I'd probably just think of it in terms of friends as well as sexual attraction.
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