Acecream

I‘m offended that you‘re just mad at random people in the internet for thinks you could EASILY solve yourself

False

TPBM prefers sea over mountains

I know some aros hate kissing and that‘s totally fine and valid, but I totally hate the generalizing „aromantics hate kissing“ tropes 

also, that aros don‘t like romantic actions or people can‘t be aro if they desire a relationship

There is a german song called „never been in love“ by Paula Hartmann („nie verliebt“)

i just translated the lyrics through deepl haha for the non german speaking users. Ku‘damm, Westend, Hermannsplatz are places in Berlin

Who am I that you think you have a right to my time (aha)
Ku'damm corner, stay dreaming
Headlight cone on us two
Looking for the S-Bahn at half past two in the morning
Get up at six in the morning
But then still cheap wine (again cheap wine)
At five then be on the bus direction fucked up
Shower, brush teeth and aspirin purely
Hair back, voice low
I've never been in love, hm-hm, hm-hm
And again a night without sleep
Head leaning against the dirty window of a train
I've never been in love, hm
I've never been in love, hm
The last sip of wine, the cigarette by the track
And the very last kiss, but don't worry
I've never been in love, hm
I've never been in love
The feeling that something was missing
Lost last night, between being alive and emptiness
Westend and Hermannplatz
Eyes burn badly, face is pale
And I still want more
And all my dreams and wishes and worries
Knife in, better forgotten till tomorrow
Hair back, the voice is low
I've never been in love, hm-hm, hm-hm
And again a night without sleep
The head leans against the dirty window of a train
I've never been in love, hm
I've never been in love, hm
The last sip of wine, the cigarette by the track
And the very last kiss, but don't worry
I've never been in love, hm
I've never been in love

There is a new german series it’s an non-binary main character, it‘s called „becoming Charlie“. It‘s about the journey of discovering the own gender identity of a young person in a very difficult life situation

the Storyboard is written by a non–binary person

but a HUGE!!!!! triggerwarning for transmisia

i found it really hard to watch. So maybe take care of yourself and don‘t watch it by your own if you don‘t feel like you could deal with it

the end just let me like „wtf no no you can‘t end now with this“. If anyone has seen it and needs to talk a bit about it, I’m in. Bc I don‘t really know how to feel about it haha

@EmilyWritesSomeStuff
first of all: yes, its a choice for every single person. and as you are heteroromantic asexual and I am not, I think that you might – of course – have more interpretational sovereignty than me here^^ But just some thoughts of mine: being a choice DOES mean that nobody is allowed to exclude all heteroromantic aces from lgbtqia+ spaces as long as the person doesn't say, they are not queer, doesn't it? so, heteroromantic aces do belong into queer spaces as long as they don't say they don't...
and I don't understand this thread as "why every heteroromantic ace belong in lgbtqia+ spaces" but as "why heteroromantic aces do belong in lgbtqia+ spaces – as long as they feel they do"

yes, you talked about you personally, but I just wanted to add this  :) of course your feelings are valid and I don't want to say anything against them!
I beg your pardon if this was somehow encroaching or invalidating your feelings. this was not meant to be about you!

the rest is more in general about aspecs being queer...

lgbtqia+ spaces are not and should not be about oppression. they should not be discrimination olympics, they should be safe spaces for queer people, spaces in which normativstes (hetero-, cis-, or allonormativity) can be broken, spaces in which queers don't have to feel "different" or "strange". yes, many people in lgbtqia+ spaces face oppression and yes,  others face more oppression than het-aces (even if discrimination against aces DOES exist (eg disease mongering…))

yes, I see that lgbtqia+ spaces ARE fulfilled with A LOT of allonormativity, and a lot of them are aspec unfriendly, but this is something the community should work on. this is not our fault and no argument to exclude het-aces collectively from lgbtqia+ spaces...

and, last but not least (this isn't really the topic here but I just wanted to add it): aspecs are queer (yes, if they WANT to label themselves as queer). I just walked through the city a few days ago and just realized how everything is fulfilled with allonormativity, you can't escape from it, and how much the whole world tells you that "you are not the same" and that's literally the definition of queer? I do not feel as if the way I am is "normally accepted" or "considered normal" in this world. I do feel queer. but yes, in a different way than allos
(as I am aroace and by now I do consider my aromanticism as more important for my queerness than my asexuality, this might be a very personal view which doesn't say anything about heteroromantic aces, I don't know...)

unpopular opinion (maybe) but:
actually I personally would REALLY like to know it, especially when the other person (you) knows that I'm aroace and therefore has no or only low expectations or "hopes". so telling this seems just as getting something out of the way which could stand in between you? bc the person can feel that "there is something" without being able to tell what it is and that could be very nasty...

when the aroace person is a relaxed person this shouldn't change a lot.

also some aroaces do want relationships so never say never^^

but as @nonmerci mentioned: it relates on the person and whether you think they would be uncomfortable with it or not

hey ya all :D
you don't seem very active by now, but I found out there will be an Aspec Meeting (18+ yo) in Münster, NRW in July. As some of you were from this area I thought I could share it here!

I guess I have a squish (not 100% sure but about 95%) and it's just amazing how much happiness I feel bc I know that the person is in an amazing romantic relationship

Fruits

wyr be able to know your own future in detail or the future of one single random person you might never met

that I can chose whether I want to socialize or not and can go home when I feel it without having to take anyone into consideration
that I can chose to work all night or going to sleep in the early evening without anyone who has other plans

that I know the concept of amatonormativity and allonormativity bc I love it to have knowledge about concepts I can complain about hahaha

(but it's kind of sad that alloallos don't wanna see that it may harm themselves too)

I love this

I think I might be polyam (or polyplatonic whatever, but I guess I would feel good in a polyam relationship) but I've still no idea how to find an monogamous qpr so...^^

didn't realize but my trousers were showing very much aroace pride today

A snake. I find fishes I can touch disgusting. And the others are just boring (i mean they can look great! But I would just forget to feed them after a few days). So a snake. Snakes are cool. But I am afraid of snakes. Umm.

i take the snake to try out my parsel

wyr fly to mars or dive into the deep sea?

2061

On 6/19/2020 at 4:24 AM, JustVibin' said:

Well, I feel like the act of feeling sexual attraction period, regardless of the frequency, excludes you from the asexual identity but *shrug*.

Well there are lots of acespecs who are sexual attracted sometimes. There is no “challenge” of who is “more asexual”

Also, someone could e.g. use the label bisexual asexual when they could imagine to have sex with more than one gender but still don’t feel sexual attracted to them.. I guess there are plenty of reasons to use more then one label and thats okay

2 aromantic moments, one very ironic and one kind of frustrating

the ironic one: I used to play in a improvisational Theater group 1 1/2 years ago. We had this exercise in which we had to play emotions. I got “to be in love”

wekk I had no idea what to do and just acted as if I would be nervous and in a shy way excited to be with the other person I was with... and in the end they told me that I was very good in pretending that I was in love lol

the 2nd moment was just a few days ago: I was talking to 2 roommates and the girlfriend of one of them. My 1. roommate talked about how bored she is in her job and that she has nothing to talk about with her colleagues. So the girlfriend of the 2nd roommate recommended to talk about sex (*) and my roommate said that this wouldn’t work bc she doesn’t think that anyone of them (she works together with people around the age of 17/18/19) has even had a serious relationship or something like this. And my 2nd roommates girlfriend just commented how unpleasant this was

Earlier on this evening I almost told her boyfriend about my aromanticism but then I was kind of glad I didn’t 

*so this is an asexual moment as well cause the ace in me doesn’t know how sex can be the topic she mentioned first

my friend wanted to hear a song which is quite popular at the moment and all I thought was “oh pls not this amatonormative shit again”

@nonmerci

this just sounds as if labelling yourself would put you in a prison. But in fact it frees you.

(or at least it can)

4 hours ago, Hellishfish said:

“well don’t label yourself”

Oh wow that’s exactly what my mother said aswell.

in addition to: „I don’t think it’s good to label yourself, do you really need that? I just don’t want you to stick yourself into a box.”

He is, but there is a big amnesia, so unfortunately he gets out of prison after a few days

i wish I wouldn‘t have any courses of university this week

I wonder why so many alloromantic people (at least the ones I know) stop meeting people they like after they realize that their will be no romantic relationships with them.

like, a lot of my friends start dating and then, after a few dates, they tell me that they really like the other person (and the other person likes them back), but not in THAT way. So they stop meeting each other.

why can’t they just continue meeting as friends? I mean, they like each other? Why doesn’t this count when there is no romantic potential?

@Rainy Robin this sounds wonderful :)

20 hours ago, Rainy Robin said:

I would enjoy having maybe a couple of QPPs but I'm not sure how likely that is, given how few people seem to be looking for that kind of relationship

Like having “polyamorous” QPRs (Polyplatonic :D) or not at one time?

Yeah it’s all in the title

aromanticism is just invisible, nobody talks about it, nobody knows about it, nobody outside the aspec even uses (or knows!!!!) the SAM. not using it denies that aromanticism even EXISTS because NOBODY cares about romantic orientations

Being aromantic is just like being non-existent. And I HATE IT.

edit: I don’t hate being aromantic. I hate that nobody knows anything about us.