Acecream

Hhpey, I just want to leave this text here...

bc I feel like it has some very good points and I thought some of you might like it, too. Feel free to share what you think about it!
 

it’s from an aroace perspective so I thought it’s maybe better here than in another thread, but I don’t know the thread-structure of this forum that well haha

the article

” And yet, most aroace people we get to know or heard about or read about – they mostly and firstly identify as ace. We ponder why this is the case? Why aromanticism feels less important to them in this amatonormative world? We can’t get our head around this concept. We are aroace too, but thinking about it – we feel more aro than ace. Aromanticism is about relationships. It’s about friendships we have that won’t turn into another kind of relationship – a romantic one. We feel fine about them being ‘just’ friendships, but also we ponder if this doesn’t make our friends feel like ‘they don’t have a chance’ in a romantic sense, with us. And we ponder if they won’t put as much heart and work into those friendships as we do – because even if they’re not romantically interested in us, they would be in someone else. And then maybe they see those romantic relationships as needing more from them than any friendship would. Maybe not. But we ponder that nonetheless.“
 

i personally “started” my journey by identifying more ace than aro as well - but it changed through the last weeks/month. I am happy when I see ace representation, but I am searching for aro-rep and i do not find it. I am happy when others understand asexuality, but I want them to understand aromanticism - and I don’t know how. People understand that asexuality is a sexuality and that I CAN know I am ace - but I want them to understand that I CAN know I am aro despite I have not met every person in the world yet. I want people to differ their sexual from their romantic orientation, even if they are heteroromantic heterosexual - bc if they don’t, I feel as if I would not exist. As if aromanticism could not exist.

i am happy for every ace-meeting or ace-group - but I want to have aro-meetings and as far as I’ve seen, there is NO aro community in my country. Nothing. At least aros can join ace spaces but I want to have a soecific aro-area, I want to meet Aros, even alloromantic aros, I want to hear their experiences, their happy endings, I want to hear how they discover friendships, I want to talk about them.

i want to talk about aromanticism.

2056

You have the fastest internet in the world, but you have no phone and no laptop and nothing you can use it with

i wish I would not feel that alone

Spaghetti sweater is awesome! I‘d just guess that there is one language (or more) in, which doesn’t use pronouns and has a very “gender neutral” language, so that the translator afterwards just guessed the pronoun^^

2054

Beard. But I prefer none of them^^
 

Would you rather live in a country where it’s too hot to stay in the sun (all year) or in a country where it’s too cold to go outside without a warm jacket all year

2052

2048

First of all: being disabled is nothing negative. Yes, it can affect your life very much and yes, it can leed to other experiences and specific needs abled don’t have and we really have to listen what is needed and how we can form life barrier–free, but it’s not about „low life–quality“ or something like that.

second: being aromantic is not “being disabled”. Nobody (apart of homomisic people) would call being homoromantic being disabled. So, why should being aromantic be “disabled”? It’s just another romantic orientation (yes, with a lot of prejudices about)

being aromantic also does NOT mean being alone all life.You can form relationship people settle “higher” than friendship (which is bullshit because I don’t think you should rank your relationship.. friendships are beautiful and not worse than “romantic relationships” at all). You could form a queerplatonic relationship for example. Or you could even enter a relationship with a romantic partner without being romantic by yourself, if you want to!

you don’t have to “be in love”, like kissing or holding hands therefore. Just be honest to yourself and a possible partner

the whole world of relationships is still open to you (yeah, I guess it would be harder, but nothing is impossible)

please excuse my english too

2046

2044

2041

@crazydreamer congratulations for your coming out?

You can, but it sounds horrific and nobody wants to hear it.

I wish I had a garden full of yummy straw- and raspberries I could eat from as much as I want to

2037

2035?

I didn’t know this song before, but I just had Why pourquoi by “slut” in my Spotify playlist and I think it has a lot of aro vibes

My university lecturer is talking about milestones in life: “falling in love, marriage, the first kid, kids move out, death”

umm well

Hey

i just want to open a thread, where we can share all the euphoria or the good moments aromanticism gives us. Whether it are specific moments or just general feelings.

just forget about the bad ones for a moment and start a thread full of luck and happiness :)

for example; the more I think about amatonormativity the more I consider it as a harmful concept; not only for aros but for allos too!! So, sometimes I am just happy that I can live beside those amatonormative rules and that my pure existence proves amatonormativity wrong. It just gives me euphoria bc I feel as if aromanticism helps me to live more free and just the way I want to.

Pig

2029

False :(

TPBM has less than 20 posts

LOL I was switching from aven to arocalypse and I just thought that I would be still on aven. So I was seeing this thread an just clicking on it bc I thought “o maybe you can repost some answers in the arocalypse forum!”

yeah well I’m going to bed.

Just because being asexual is fundamental different from heteronormativity (which in fact means heterosexuality*); aces (even heteroromantics) have fundamental different experiences, struggles, fights than heterosexuals. Heterosexuals can not completely understand asexuals, the same way asexuals can not completely understand heterosexuals

Aces don’t fill the “norm” which is “man and woman feel attracted to each other and have sex BECAUSE they are sexual ATTRACTED to each other. 

being accepted in lgbtqia+ is not a competition of “who gets more discriminated”. It‘s not „oh I join the club of discriminated or hated people“ or a „trophy“, it’s just a place for people who exist in a way beside the normativity... a way they should be able to exist in without being ashamed for what the are (I guess some heteroromantic aces could feel ashamed in the relationships with their partners, when they can‘t be „enough“ while being ace, but I don’t know for sure as I am aro as well)

coming out is necessary to be completely understood and can „free“ the person somehow (I personally think a lot about being ace and not being out means, that I hide it somehow even if I don’t want to, I can’t talk about what bothers me and this is not a good feeling)

hopes this helps, my battery is at 3% so I can’t write anymore haha

*of course heterosexual queers do exist and are valid and queer (especially bc this is an aro forum and aros are queer, but not only bc of aros). Just talked about heterosexuality bc that’s the most common way asexuality doesn’t fit in 

I am aro and ace. I did some research and discovered the term asexual in 2015, when I was 15. I felt immediately like this would describe me, but I refused and it took me 5-6 more years to accept that I am ace. Only after I accepted it (when I was 20 yo) I started to think about aromanticism. Here it was harder for me to see myself as aromantic, bc I think it’s more easy to understand that you don’t feel sexual attraction than to realise that never being in love has another reason than just “haven’t found the right person yet”. Another big point in making it harder to understand* aromanticism is amatonormativity I guess.

but when I was 21 yo I realised that “my way” of being ace and the way my asexuality affects my life is and was ever deeply connected with being aro (even if they are completely different aspects of my identity) and so I started identify as aro as well.

*here I make a huge difference between “understand” and “accept”; from the day I first started to think about asexuality to the day I accepted it was way longer than the time from the day I first started to think about aromanticism to the day I accepted it. But on the other side I found it harder to UNDERSTAND what aromanticism is and that being aromantic is not a “late bloomer” thing than I did with asexuality.

hope this makes sense?!