EmilyWritesSomeStuff

So I'm an asexual who is not aromantic here to support aromantic people and to celebrate relationships that are not romantic with them. Not to mention criticize the overrated area that society has put romance in. It is messed up how friendships are not valued enough in culture. One thing that helped me grow to understand this is growing up being taught the value of good friendships and only being surrounded by peers around my age of the gender that I am not attracted to on a romantic level. I knew few to no boys as a child and teen, but was surrounded by girls and developed very close friendships with quite a few of them. I had best friends over the years and I was heartbroken over when I lost them and still haven't gotten over all of them to this day. In college, I almost got into a QPR with the closest BFF I had in early college, but we went separate ways because she as a lesbian didn't want potential girlfriends to think that I was her girlfriend or that she liked me in any way other than platonic. I have a loving boyfriend now, but I don't see my relationships with my family members now or friends in the past as less than or not as important. I love my man very much, but he isn't the end all be all of my life or above all others in it.

I'll speak on this topic here as someone who is a heteroromantic ace. And I believe it's a choice whether het aces, aro aces, or het aros identify as lgbt+ or not, or straight or not in the cases of het aces and het aros. I will first acknowledge that I strongly support the community and will stand up my friends and siblings who are queer in some way. They have also been very supportive of my sexuality despite it being different than their own experience, more so than most straight people I have known. Personally, I do not consider myself to be lgbt+ just because that term heavily implies same gender sexual or romantic attraction and/or gender not being the one assigned at birth. I also don't consider myself to be straight because that term heavily implies heterosexuality. I respect people who feel differently about and they ought to respect this about me. I do have different experiences than straight people and don't have full privilege there, but I just don't experience oppression and discrimination that people who are lesbian, gay, bi, pan, trans, or enby people do.

I get mistaken for being aromantic all the time by those who find out I'm asexual, especially by people who have known me for years because of how I was not one of those hopeless romantic boy crazy girls growing up. I remember telling people how I felt about sex and them being like, "So you want to be single for life", and "You are being called to celibacy." Like I loved my gal pals dearly and didn't feel like I needed a man like a lot of them said they did, but I still liked boys and told them that. It is just so annoying. Like aromantic people can be sexual and asexual people can be romantic. Most people just either will not understand that or flat out refuse to accept that.

I totally agree with this person as an aro ally and as an asexual who is indifferent to having children and unsure of marriage. Amatonormativity is awful and and also hurts people who aren't aromantic that might not want a parnter, marriage, children, or all of those things.