roboticanary

yeah, I'm glad that campaign is over, the scenes when Private Parts and Major Faux Pas got together are something I will never forget as long as I live.

"i'm a big dumb dumb and need things"

Hi big woop for liking archery. so much pun potential there

Hi, yeah some people have feelings like that. short lived feelings sort fo thing. cant remember the word of the top of my head but that is something a fair few people talk about. anyhow, hope you like it here and hopefully we can be of some use to you.

https://www.aromanticism.org/en/news-feed/aromantics-create-pride-2022 This is something I remember getting involved in last year. Basically aros create things, art, writing, whatever then submit it. If you submit something you also write a comment for the thing three other people made. really cool idea, would recommend checking it out, even if not to submit your own work there were a lot of interesting bits of aro art and writing last time, so it is good to give it a look over. sidenote, if you aren't sure where to host your work or have no place of your own, putting it on this forum is fine.

I wouldnt say you messed up. every choice you make leaves another path you could have taken. from your writing it sounds like getting into a romantic relationship with them was a tempting option but being constantly anxious and uncomfortable is not a good way to live. you made your choice. as for the second question, yeah thats relationships for you. Doesn't matter what you call it, there are some things each person involved in a relationship wants out of that relationship. If you each want different things out of a relationship and you don't effectively tell each other what you can and can't give, then things are going to be very difficult as you are all reduced to reading into the entrails to divine what the fuck you are supposed to do.

Its interesting to me that this isn't always true. In a lot of cultures there is an expectation that you should take care of older relatives. Some traditions are stronger about this expectation than others. If that way of thinking is common then not everyone would agree they were being a butthole. They might instead argue that you should stay close at least while your parents are still alive. So maybe this expectation is less about romance being so different to the question of who you have a duty of care for. relationships where you are seen as having that duty are going to be less tolerent of moving away, say romance as an example but even more seriously the cultural expectations about taking care of your children. relationships like a lot of friendships where looking after someone is not as expected allows you to move away.

If part of the problem is that all the media you see is specifically aroace, then a good thing to do might be to look for content which is specifically aro but not ace to see if that fits you better. One I would recommend as I found it helpful was a series of videos by a guy named Nick Hampshire. Look him up and maybe find them if you think it would be useful. As for feeling you are going to be alone. try to work out why that is a fear for you. In my case I have grown to be far more comfortable with bein alone as I get older and realise a lot of that 'fear' came not from me but from societal pressure. Once I sat down and thought about it it wasn't anywhere near as bad.

yep, although maybe not quite as bad for your health

ok, I have a rambly idea I thought about recently which might be part of this. there is this idea called the sieve of time, basically a lot of things happen at any time and only a few stick around. generally there are some things that stick around better than others. a good example would be roman architecture, the really good bits stay around like the collosseum or the pantheon or hadrians wall but the slums disappear. This also applies for music, we only remember a small fraction of what comes out, and what seemed big at the time might not be the thing that lasts. I have a feeling that sappy romance stuff is really popular as its released but has utterly terrible staying power, it gets lost in the sieve. Really good example, 1969. This was the year 'fortunate son' was released. that peaked at 3rd in the US billboard top 100. you know what did hit #1 that same year. this: apologies to your ears folks, this sat at #1 for four weeks that year. But i would say if you asked people now, this song is certainly less well remembered. ok thats one example but i think i have something that illustrates it better. the rolling stone top 500 songs of all time. https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-lists/500-greatest-songs-of-all-time-151127/marvin-gaye-whats-going-on-37363/ looking at the top 10 i see 2 that i would call romantic, plus one that is about a breakup. The whole list has a fairly small number of romantic songs compared to what you might expect. So if most aros here are fairly young, you are probably somewhat aware of new releases and seeing a constant wave of romance being fired at you. But as you get older, the things you listen to and remeber move away from the romantic songs that struggle to stick around whereas things that are interesting, or strike a chord politically or socially stick around. So maybe a lot of allos, especially as they get older, don't see most music being about romance because after a few decades of sieving there is a lot less glurge and a lot more diverse topics and themes. also, have a palate cleanser: edit: I should probably add, rolling stone's top 500 is a list made by other musicians, so it is a bit music snobby and is not quite a list which would reflect what most people would think would make the list, but it isn't a bad list and I suspect my idea about romance her ewould stand up ok in other lists too.

welcome big platonic feelings are definitely a reasonable thing to experience, I don't think theres some limit where we go 'staaaahp, too much feeling, can't be platonic any more'.

Beef

I blame general relativity Military thinking ruined him

False TPBM thinks they could beat a goose in a fight

Fantastic

I like this reasoning. But if we are thinking about what not to serenade someone with I think the kazoo is a far more aro instrument

Hello your english is fine, no worries there. Hope figuring things out goes well.

Hi, hope you like it here

what you write about, the not getting it, going into relationships because you felt bad. These are things that other people here share with you. Don't get me wrong, this stuff is not fun to go through, feeling othered by not getting an experience, it sucks. But you will slowly work out how you best want to live your life. Youu already know that this is a shared experience, that you are not a bad person for not having these feelings and you can find people to talk through how your life is going. All in all, its fine to be sad about this, but hopefully I can give you some encouragement. nothing. nothing is wrong with you. If someone likes you in a romantic way and you don't like them back in a similar manner that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. This happens to many people, aro or not.

chill

I feel its unfair that I can only get older since that statement. really not cool of the universe that I cant just get younger

hills