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Kojote

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Everything posted by Kojote

  1. Since all of the rare people I find sexually attractive are also aesthetically attractive to me, I'll probably try and draw them, which means I can appreciate them in peace, without seeming creepy (I try to draw people a lot when I commute as practice). Just like Cas though, I don't feel any impulse to act upon my attraction at all. I've never pictured myself having sex with a person I know personally either. For me, too, it's fantasy people. As a gray, I won't try to act upon any sexual attraction until I know and actually like the person. And there are a lot of personality things, that'll have the sexual attraction fade away in an instant. If they might fall for me, for example or if they already are in a relationship that's not openly poly. If the person drops no hints of desiring me or sex in general and if we are already platonic friends (even more so if we share the same circle of friends). That does narrow it down a lot! Which is why I said in the other thread, that I am celibate. As a grey, this is no big deal for me though. I have a sex drive, but it's not strong at all and rather easy to ignore.
  2. I kind off have a squish/best friend of.. I think almost 14 years now? I met her online when I was barely a teen. We've always chatted almost daily since then. I even had the honor of being her best mate at her wedding and I'm absolutely in tune with her husband, too. He's so fun to be around, I love the guy! =D Since way back, I always considered her to be my most important thing in the world, though I knew from very early on, that I meant that in a platonic way. This was way before I knew what being aro means, it was just the most natural thing for me to feel, so I never connected the dots. That being said I don't consider us to be QPP material at all, we probably wouldn't room well I have not desire to be together with her in that way, I just like to help her be happy, because she means so much to me. But recently she started ignoring me in favor of another friend of hers, going so far as to completely shut me out for a few days. We're good now, but I felt so hurt at the time, I could barely function. It really hammered home how much platonic relationships affect you and how "just friends" is the most bullshit saying I've ever come across.
  3. Your Raw Score is: -360, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous Your appearance is Androgynous Your brain processes are mostly that of a Male person. You appear to socialize in a androgynous manner. You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity. You indicated your were born Female. ANALYSIS: Female to Male possible Transsexual Uhm... ok? Sure.... a lot of you said it already, but boy is this test loaded with stereotypes and culture-bias. I was also dyslexic as a child and I happen to not own a car... and even if I could own one, most just aren't practical on European roads... what do you need an SUV on a smooth highway for?! And just don't get me started on the body type/measurements section.... that was so...Just nope Does it even have a "you're perfectly ok with the way you are" option as an analysis, if your results are nonbinary?
  4. Now that you said that I'm not to sure D: It's at least not the OP's initial question.... Maybe ask them?
  5. As I see it, your gender identity is a character trait, not an appearance trait. Appearance can help make you be perceived as non-binary (or punk rock, or a hipster, or a businessperson), but it's not what being non-binary is about, at least it isn't to me. Could you redefine your question? Do you want to have tips on gender-neutral clothing or on personality traits and behaviors that could make you non-binary? Do you seek clarification, because you have trouble understanding the concept from an outsiders perspective or advice on how to present yourself as non-binary? (and this is getting off-topic. maybe make a seperate thread?)
  6. You could always start out with just "non-binary", which is quite the umbrella term for every gender identity that doesn't fit neatly into male or female and just take your time, figuring it out =) I identify as agender for example, because I never felt comfortable getting any gender assigned to me at all. Kind off the same way being agnostic works for religion. You know it exists, but it holds no meaning for me personally and I honestly couldn't care any less, no matter how hard I try. You can also have more than one identity, since some are not mutually exclusive. Take Genderflux for example. It means you feel this one day and that way on another day. It does not mean that you fluctuate between male and female though. It could, for example mean that you fluctuate between agender and demigender. As for explaining gender... I don't think I'd be of much help As someone agender I never quite got it myself.
  7. I never liked children. Even as a child I didn't like children, who were drastically younger then me. My grandma told me, that I once took a children's buggy and rolled it out of the door. I was very careful as not to disturb or harm the baby, but I did close the door on it. So no way, Jose! I don't think my romantic orientation has anything to do with this, though. If anything, I'd rather say my gender identity plays a larger part here. At least if we speak about giving birth to a child instead of adoption. I already have plenty trouble with some other markers of my biological gender. The image of me being pregnant feels like a scene ripped from a horror movie or a nightmare xD" I'd rather not think about that to much....
  8. Didn't know that! Will use that! Sounds a bit weird thought, makes me think of a gynecologist But good to know.
  9. Agender here. I actually get very confused about the whole gender concept a lot, because orientation (both sexual and romantic) kind of relies on your own gender identification? If you identify as gay, it's not enough to be attracted to men, you yourself have to be male aswell. There's no word for "attracted to male-ish stuff" As someone who is agender in mind, but passes as female in body no matter what I do, I put a small "homo" on my identity chart on the left, but honestly? It feels a bit wrong, since I'd rather not be classified as female =\ So it doesn't so much influence my attraction as it just makes labels confusing
  10. Mine actually told me something similar through the flower, but concerning me being sans-romantic partner (I'm not out to her) She told me an old friend of her's had a hard time finding someone, too. So as soon as she went to college, she started using something that was basically the predecessor of tinder to go and have casual sex with different guys. Now she's happily married and has children... It was honestly such a weird story, I just burst out laughing instead of getting angry at the "shag until you have children"-advice Thank you very much, mom! Though, on second thought, no, thank you very much, I'd rather not. I'd like to get neither children, nor partner, nor STDs, thank you kindly.
  11. Why do a lot (not all) of allos seem to only exist for their partners, when freshly getting one? Is it such hard work to kick it off and make it stable before you can deviate your attention away from it again? Or does this have some other reasons? I get that this differs from person to person and not all do this, but I've seen allos do it a lot before, so I at least know it's a thing that can happen. And I never could quite wrap my mind around it
  12. That's kind of true for me, too. I have hoped for a companion in life, but I never even knew that that companion could be non-romantic. I plainly didn't even know that romantic attraction could be separated from sexual attraction. So I actually did believe for quite some, that I had to find the ONE(tm), with whom it'd feel right. I never could get myself to date though. Even back when I didn't know I was aro. it was just to appalling.
  13. It depends. Am I forced to watch it, because of the situation I'm in? Cause then I think that most people wouldn't like it. F.exp. theres a couple in a group event and they won't stop sticking to each other like glue and displaying affection. That's just plain rude. If you didn't want to be there for the group, just go home, but don't turn it into your two-person make out party... at this point, I'll even be bothered by flirting and hand holding, because again, this is a group event among friends, if you're that into your partner, that you've forgotten to care about anyone else, please just don't attend.... I'm at a café, in cinema at a lecture, at public commutes and someone is making out infront/besides me. This is more concerning deep kisses, groping and dry humping. Again: simply rude, really not the place for that! You're kind of dragging other people into your PDAing If your into that, there's clubs for that! Open spaces aren't your living room. Usually, the closer they sit next to me, the more pissed I'll get. At least got your own corner... Other than that I don't mind at all. As long as I don't have to actively notice it, I'm completely able to blend it out =) If it makes them happy go ahead and show your affection in any way. Just, please, remember a simple thing if you want to get a little more intense: Can people walk away and ignore you? No. Well then don't.
  14. I like my alcohol (except wine and creme liquor) just in the same way that I like my coffee, tee or any other beverage I also like to open a beer with my roomie in the evenings after a stressful day or enjoy some Whisky (which is my cats name xD). I also like to drink socially with friends the most I never drink to much though, because yes, aftereffects of alcohol suck and they don't do much for my personality. I really have no other reason than that I actually like the taste =)
  15. It actually depends everywhere. I like cuddling, because to cuddle with someone already implies closeness/that you feel comfortable with the person in some way. Hugging is super nice, too, with said person, but I do find the concept to be weird among strangers (as a greeting?) I sure do love to hug(tackle/punce) with friends though, but if someone hugs me out of the blue, I'll tense up. Kissing is more complicated and loaded. I do like short kisses, but again, only with people I already like as a person to begin with (or sometimes cute girls). I feel bored with elongated french kissing though. It just feels mechanical and somewhat yucky to me. It's just, I've become wary of all these things by time, because when I still perceived them as harmless, others felt they send "mixed signals". Avoiding "mixed signals" has become way more of a huge deal to me than any kind of comfort I might get out of any of these touches, which is why for now, until I'm completely relaxed and trust the person, I'll probably tense up at anything anyway xD"
  16. These are songs I like to listen to specifically because they make me feel like they talk about aromanticism (which they probably don't, but I've decided not to care). The first one helped me through a though time, were people I cared about deeply told me that they loved me. I felt like the villain back than, because I wasn't able to reciprocate their feelings and this song helped. Specifically the lyrics "I think it's best, if we both forget, before we dwell on it" Life for rent is really more of a recent song, that became relevant to me. Since I've moved a lot/will move a lot in my life and can't make romantic connections, I sometime's feel like nothing is really mine. Which is why I currently connect to this. Lyric: "I apologize but once again I'm not in love, but it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking" Love, Love, Love - Of Monsters and Men Life for Rent - Dido Songs I like for non-aro reasons No Son of Mine - Genesis Times are a changin' - Bob Dylan (Watchmen Version) Ghost Rider in the Sky - Johnny Cash Cover Last Unicorn - America (also Walking Man's road) Fine on the Outside - Priscilla Ahn Every Rebecca Sugar song ever, but especially this one Yes I realize I've got the music taste of my parent's and grandparents generation. Why are you asking?
  17. I hereby solemnly swear that I shall refrain from posting any numbers until every Owl got their nights sleep! 

    1. paporomantic

      paporomantic

      Does it mean 'forever'? There are owls in very different timezones :P

    2. Kojote

      Kojote

      I'll refrain from answering so I can be as vague as possible about that :P 

    3. Dodgypotato

      Dodgypotato

      I think there's about 3 different owls now! Maybe 4!

      Owls vs potatoes battle coming up soon...

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