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Everything posted by Lokiana

  1. I use romance-favorable - I'm in a romantic relationship (😊) and generally I don't mind romance in media. However, forced romance or amatonormative concepts (Valentine's Day in particular) still make me fairly upset. From a demiro perspective, I many how many aros that feel some romantic attraction would say romance favorable vs. aros that feel no romantic attraction would say romance favorable.
  2. Definitely in agreement here. The conflation is bad but that's not necessarily the terminology's fault (although the way it was coined is...interesting). Although it is perhaps an example for the "this could have been thought through better but now we're here so we have to find a way to deal with it because it's not going away" bucket - it definitely could use improvement, and individuals are welcome to use/disuse terminology as they please, but I think correction of misinformation is the best way to deal with it, not to discard the grouping as useful. Given that start, I wonder when and how agender began to be grouped into the asexual and aromantic spectra(ums? I have no idea how English works and this is my native language.)
  3. Just a question for y'all, and this is slightly off topic so pardon me: do you consider agender people to be on the a-spec? I've heard conflicting answers and am curious what y'all's thoughts are.
  4. I love Marvel and Percy Jackson as well (although I'm not caught up on the new books :😔). Welcome to the forums!
  5. Welcome to Arocalypse! 💚
  6. Just wanted to give you some reassurance here - I'm turning 19 soon, and felt the same way you did in about my sophomore year of high school. You don't have to be lonely and just because you haven't found someone who you're close to yet doesn't mean you never will. From a Christian (Methodist ) to a Christian, God will put people in your path, and there might be someone with your same experience, or there will be someone that understands. You will find friendship and comfort. Right now, everyone's figuring out who they are, and that means a loooot of focus on relationships for some people, but you don't have to be lonely. Just keep reaching out and you will find friendship. (Ps: Always here for you. ❤️ Let me know if we can do anything.)
  7. Yeah at age 19 (in three days) I definitely feel much younger than my friends who are graduating and have graduated college at 23.
  8. That actually is a really good idea. If different people add small contributions and the section grows really large, someone would be able to propose moving it, which would be less sudden than creating another page that might get merged back into asexuality. One thing AUREA might be useful for, if not citing as a source, would be sourcing flags - including the aroallo and the aroace flag. Since Wikipedia doesn't accept Tumblr as a source and most news articles will use the main aromantic flag. It might be good to include those flags because they are more prominent recently.
  9. Was this part really necessary? Like truly, really necessary? All you did was discourage me from continuing the conversation. I won't name any specific people, or any specific blogs, but as far as I can tell the divisions are mostly defined by: (and some people fall into multiple factions or associate with multiple groups) -purely positivity blogs -identity (ie: aroallos, aroaces, non-SAM aros, greyromantics, romo aros) -how people prioritize and group identity (ie: some aroaces prioritize aroness or aceness, some aroallos consider their identities inseparable, etc. and i could go on but...) -Discord servers (people in the same small groups tend to organize, so you can usually tell who's chatting outside of Tumblr) -shipping discourse -discoursers and former discourse blogs (generally very combative blogs) -when they began to id with the community (flags and terminology are generally a big indicator of this) -a couple more "official blogs" (the AUREA blog, for example, or the ASAW blog) -and some people are really just ~vibing~ trying to follow whoever they find interesting
  10. I thought it w as but wasn't quite sure. Connecting across platforms is not my strength. 😅 (Also, I know it's kind of strange, but I just wanted to sidenote here that I no longer id as ace, but I'm not iding as aroallo either. So I'm just...here. I know a lot of y'all on a personal level so figured I'd disclaimer that.) 100%.
  11. I'll offer up a discussion I had with someone about using "dirty allosexuals" which is just straight up ace discourse rhetoric.... The person I brought it up with was good about it, but it's relatively common and it's just straight up ace discourse rhetoric.
  12. No, you weren't clear, and that's a consistent problem this thread seems to have. And as far as initial discussions...there was a discussion happening. You yourself even said " I'm glad I posted this here then! When a lot of people are saying it and it seems to add up, it's easy to just take their word for it." Mark asked, "I was thinking about this kind of issue. In terms of aplatonic along with squish and alterous. Were these also coined in an "ace-first" environment? I think it's also worth asking which terms originate from the "aro community"?". Personal things started being brought into it. You yourself cited something incorrectly, which leads to more distrust, especially when talking about misinformation. There wasn't any discussion of the actual topic other than "correct misinformation, people need to be better about understanding correction, and here's the correct information" past a certain point, so people got argumentative and personal in the middle. The infographic thing is a good idea....but there were like 4 maybe 5 people that seemed to be active by that point. Even then, people were being cooperative and still having a discussion throughout the thread...maybe not everyone was arriving at the same conclusion and maybe not everyone had the same opinion, but people were listening, is the overall impression I get. (Also, regarding your question: aro tumblr is a mess nowadays. It's developed into multiple factions and groups as far as I can tell, the hivemind thing is only slightly a joke, and there's a lot of conflict. Because aros can't agree on anything and especially not now.)
  13. Lack of accessibility, in my opinion, but also intercommunity cooperation. As long as I've identified as a-spec, there's been some tension between aces and aros - not bad tension always, but a clash of priorities and ideas. Personally, I think a lot of people are willing to listen when conversations are held well, but when conversations become heated or intense, they become a bit of a struggle to keep up with. There's a lot of community collaboration in some spaces, and some conversations are being held in good faith: I distinctly remember having the conversation about the phrase "dirty allosexuals" with someone because they were using it in aro spaces, and they listened. While some whispers are bad, and some conversations are not productive in the least, and some people are well, people, I'm starting to see a culture grow of more collaboration and listening to each other in many spaces, and it gives me hope that some people are listening, or are willing to listen if approached right.
  14. I think saying no one is ready to have that conversation might be an unfair representation. This has been a very long thread and at some points has gotten very heated, so people might have muted or ignored it (like I did for a while) because that's not something they're prepared to deal with. It seems to me that there are segments of both communities that are working very well together right now and are listening to each other, and there are portions that are very hostile to each other, intentionally or unintentionally. The aro antagonism I've seen from a lot of aces is ridiculous, but I'm starting to see more ace antagonism rather than pushback against aro antagonistic ideas from other aros, and it makes me very uncomfortable. Saying no one is ready to have that conversation based on one thread seems to be largely ineffective, seeing as this conversation has gone four or five different directions. Imo, separate, smaller threads and conversations would be more effective.
  15. turns out i'm demiromantic and bi...not aroace. took me a couple years, but it's all good :D

  16. Linux is being a pain in the ass. Woo.

    1. running.tally


      Hang in there. From what I hear, Linux is almost never not a pain in the ass!

    2. Momo


      If you ever need help with it, you know where I am. But yeah, Linux almost never not a pain in the ass.

  17. ASAW IS IN 40 DAYS. 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Lokiana


      Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week!

    3. YXSHINN


      I thought it'd be in March though? :0

    4. Lokiana


      Nope! It falls the week after Valentine's Day annually.

  18. I believe those pamphlets went up with the original site, so it may be a while if/when they get changed. Although I do struggle to understand how the issue of origin of QPRs affects the commonality/frequent usage of the phrase "QPR" and related terminology in aro communities.
  19. prepping for ASAW 2020 & christmas break. wishes everyone could just get along, but she doesn't even go here.

  20. There is a flag, if rarely used, for omniaromantics (people who do not feel romantic attraction, do not desire romantic relationships, etc. I'll let y'all read the definition). Found here. It's been around for more than a year because we, as a community, recognize anyone who is gray-aromantic as aromantic, and belonging in our community. Even if some people did recognize the desire for a second flag, they wanted to keep the aromantic flag for our community as a whole: that's who it was created for, after all. As a final note, I am what you might call a "true aromantic" or whatever somewhat offensive term you are using - I don't feel any romantic attraction, ever - and I think that the way you've approached this topic is slightly offensive at best. Creating separate terminology for aromantics who feel no attraction whatsoever is fine - I believe I've seen terms like "null aro" floating around, as well as omniaromantic and others - but doing so in a way that alienates gray-aromantics leaves a serious bad taste in many people's mouths. In fact, it reminds me very much of the time when I was told that "arospec" was for gray-aros (including demiromantics, lithromantics, etc.) but not for null aromantics. It made me very uncomfortable - after all, I had been using that terminology for years, and it was part of my identity. People telling me I could no longer use that term for myself was a struggle (and yes, we did come to a consensus for the opposite conclusion, but it was a discussion that was had). So while I understand you may want a term or flag for your individual identity, it comes off as offensive and rude to alienate gray-aros from our community and flag when they have been here since the beginning, and since the creation of the flag. It makes a lot of us (gray-aro or null aro) feel very uncomfortable with the discussion, and not in a way that produces positive results. In conclusion: gray-aros are aromantic, and absolutely should be able to use our flag.
  21. I've been excited to help out with AUREA and here's some translations for our "basic terms" in Polish, German, and Russian (with more in progress!). I also know off the top of my head that Spanish aromantic = arromántico. Kind of neat to see variations of different languages!
  22. I'll do my best! Can't promise it'll be perfect but hey. So here's a def I'm stealing from AUREA: and here's a coinage post just for kicks. Really, alterous is not overall specifically defined - the general consensus is that it's an attraction or relationship based on emotional closeness that might not necessarily be romantic or platonic. (Overall, similar to QPR, but not as common or neatly defined, usually? A lil more wiggle room and less connotation, imo.) Possibly sexual, possibly nah, really up to you! Here's a couple opinions on how the two differ: one, two (i'm gonna note since it's toward thread top that i don't agree with the idea that QPRs are always non-sexual before anyone starts coming @me) Hey, you're still normal! Just not straight. I just left a romo relationship and figured out that hey, I don't want that and then hated myself for not feeling more attached - so I get it. But just because it's more complicated in an amatonormative world doesn't mean you won't figure it out.
  23. First and foremost: welcome to the family! We bicker and we hug it out, but we are glad to have you. I'm so happy your coming out went well and that your partner took it well! If you are looking for some nifty relationship terms, queerplatonic and alterous may be useful. (but that could be my inclination to all the niche terms ;p )
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