Holmbo Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 A while ago I met this guy through a web site. We met up and had a really good time and has met a few more times since then, not so many since we live quite far away from each other. From almost the very start he was clear that he was romantically interested in me and I in turn made clear I was aromantic and didn't or ever would want a romantic relationship. We've talked about this a lot and I've explained how I feel about romance and sex and friendship. He has said that he has romantic feelings for me but he wants us to be friends if that's what I want, preferably friends who have sex. I have been very skeptical about this because my experience is that people who have romantic interest just sees friendship as a step to romance. Last time we met I brought up all my concerns about us being friends. Like that he might only want friendship as a substitute for romance. That the boundaries between friends who have sex and a romantic couple are blurry and even though I can see them I'm not sure he would be able to. That such a relationship would strengthen his romantic feelings for me but not satisfy them. That it might make it harder for him to get romantic feelings for someone else who would want to have a romantic relationship. That our relationship could get uneven where he wants us to spend much more time together then I do or has much more investment in the relationship than I do. That I would want us to hang out with other friends without having to explain our relationship to them. He really considered all the topics and responded how he felt about them. The bottom line for him is that we have some sort of relationship and that I can decide what I feel comfortable with and that we communicate about how we feel about the relationship and what we want from it. So know I've decided to let him be responsible for his own emotional well being and allow us to go out in these murky waters outside the "normal friendship". For many this might not be a big deal but I've actually never really had a relationship that was anything other than "standard platonic" or romantic. So it will be interesting to see how it goes. Hopefully I wont regret it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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