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Carnival of Aros: December 2022 - Getting Old


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The carnival is mine this month:

https://roboticanary.wordpress.com/2022/11/30/december-2020-carnival-of-aros-getting-old-call-for-submissions/

for those who dont know, the carnival of aros is a monthly event where one person puts out a theme for people to blog about. this month is my turn and I have asked people to talk about getting old as an aro, the impacts of being aromantic as you age for example, and the changes in the aromantic community as time goes by.

if you have anything you want to submit, the linked post gives details for ways to do that, or just make a comment here to tell me.

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hey hey :) is it also okay to write something if I'm not that old (I'm 23)? like, more about what (that is connected to aromanticism) I fear about getting older and what maybe I start noticing as a difference in being a young adult compared to being a teenager? or is it more for elder Aros?

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2 minutes ago, Acecream said:

hey hey :) is it also okay to write something if I'm not that old (I'm 23)? like, more about what (that is connected to aromanticism) I fear about getting older and what maybe I start noticing as a difference in being a young adult compared to being a teenager? or is it more for elder Aros?

absolutely you can write something, no restrictions on who can write a response.

In fact tried to make sure there were also some prompts specifically aimed for younger aros, about your expectations for the future, what you want older aros to know, long term hopes for the aromantic community. 

so it would be fantastic to see what you would write.

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I didn't know about the carnival of Aro, that's a really cool idea ! 

As a quite young aro, I would say that I mostly fear the old age. I don't have any idea of what could life look if I age alone. People help their grandparents. But what about elders that don't have those? It seems weird and complicated to stay single and without children. 

Also quite stupid but I don't like the image of the old lady with her cats. Sorry but I don't like cats. I don't want to "compensate" a lack of affection due to my aroness with animals, that's too much cliché for me

 

I don't know if that was a constructive idea about getting old while being aro but there it is

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I'm not "old" per se, I'm 42 years old. Yeah I know that's old as shit to some of you yung'uns, but let me put it in perspective. Video games and cell phones existed when I was a kid. I have still-living relatives who were around when people primarily got around by horse or train. Anyway, how has being aro affected my life as I got older? I'd say mainly social life. People in my life go on, have families, lose touch because they are so busy with kids. Maybe I run into someone every now and then, but for the most part friends aren't really a thing. But I understand this is not uncommon even for allos. One joke I hear is dads don't have friends. Their wives have friends, and they have husbands. Nothing has convinced me my quality of life would be any better for having found a partner and started a family. Quite the opposite to be honest.  I have no children, it's not likely I ever will. But I am not without family. I still have mom and brothers and a sister, and wonderful nieces. 

Solo life, for the most part is not bad at all. I don't see myself as the "cat lady" (I'm a dude for one thing) but instead as more of a Bilbo Baggins enjoying his solitary life. Having no wife, kids or child support means my time and money are free to do with as I like, and I have all the space I need to do it in. I've done a good job of taking care of my health and maintaining my fitness so I'm overall feeling pretty good physically. 

Still, it's not exactly a glamorous carefree life. The biggest struggle for me has been finding meaning. I have no fear of dying alone. No one can control that anyway. I'm really more concerned about what kind of difference I have made. Or what my purpose for being here is, or do I have to make a purpose. These kinds of existential issues have dogged me since I was a kid. I try to find things to challenge me, to develop in ways I had not before. Or to find things around me I can take responsibility for, to try to improve, such as my house or workplace, or maintaining connections among my family. I now find myself walking into the second half of my life wondering what's next for me. I have been turning my attention to higher pursuits, to matters of the soul, to ways of expressing my own spirituality in my own way.

As for developments in the Aro community over time, I couldn't really say since I didn't know it existed before the latter half of this year. But I do observe how youth driven it seems to be. And that's no bad thing. That youthful fire is just the thing to get the movement going and get visibility. But I also see a need for tempering and guidance from older gentlemen (and ladies. And whatever else there is) such as myself lest the fire burn out of control.

 

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