Angrboda Posted September 21, 2022 Share Posted September 21, 2022 I always hear my fellow aros say that they have no desire for romantically coded activities, but what that means seems to varry quite a bit. Some saying that dating & marriage is fine, just so long as they don't have to kiss, others saying that kissing isn't all that bad but holding hands, cuddling, & using pet names is out of the question. How do you feel about the different aspects of romance? What sounds good? What are some things you might tolerate? What are the hard passes? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
illumi Posted September 21, 2022 Share Posted September 21, 2022 i would like to have a significant other. or several ones like a friend group so if i wasnt aro i might be polyamorous i love to cuddle and hug. perhaps kisses on the forehead and cheeks but thats all the romantic shit i can tolerate. heck! cuddles and hugs aint even inherently romantic 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
queer_kaleidoscope Posted October 2, 2022 Share Posted October 2, 2022 Tbh I'm uncomfortable with anything that's associated with romance/has a romantic connotation. (Not as much related to romance, but I also just don't like being touched in general even when it's not inherently romantic.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted October 6, 2022 Share Posted October 6, 2022 I like kissing, but I prefer kissing strangers. I like physical touch generally but it seems that is more often connected to sex than romance. In terms of romantic activities there's not much of it I enjoy. I like to go on dates with people and talk about personal topics but that's not inherently romantic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tallow Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 I hate kissing with a passion, but cuddles and hugs are literally the best. Having a SO myself (qpr), I'm comfortable with it as long as it doesn't get put in the context of romance (like when their friends ship me with zem). Then it gets gross. I have a weird relationship with pet names. They're bad in theory, but I liked them this one time, so idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . Also platonic dates are where it's at!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterTheTripleABattery Posted October 9, 2022 Share Posted October 9, 2022 As a nerodivergent teen, I dispise pysical effection in any sort of "loving" way (aka friendly way is fine but romanticly or parentaly is horid) and just the thought of kissing or holding hands/cuddling are kind of gross to me because it restrics my movement which i hate. I dont really like pet names because number 1, cringe/hj, number 2, it gives me to much anxiety. not butterflies. Anxiety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gray Warlock Posted October 9, 2022 Share Posted October 9, 2022 I don't care for spooning. I can never get a good night's sleep with someone's full dead weight on my arm, and I can't turn to get into a more comfortable position without waking her. So I get to wake up with a limp arm, stiff spine and foggy brain. How wonderful! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted October 10, 2022 Share Posted October 10, 2022 On 9/20/2022 at 6:50 PM, Angrboda said: I always hear my fellow aros say that they have no desire for romantically coded activities, but what that means seems to varry quite a bit. Some saying that dating & marriage is fine, just so long as they don't have to kiss, others saying that kissing isn't all that bad but holding hands, cuddling, & using pet names is out of the question. How do you feel about the different aspects of romance? What sounds good? What are some things you might tolerate? What are the hard passes? Kissing is a HARD PASS. Holding hands, cuddling, and pet names are all fine by me if it's the right person. I used to have a friend who called me things like "cutie" and "beautiful" all the time, really miss that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClearSkiesAhear Posted October 14, 2022 Share Posted October 14, 2022 Sometimes I wonder if I’ve completely misunderstood what dates are because it sounds like just two people go do fun thing together to bond and have fun and I think that aspect of romance sounds really nice and fun. Are platonic dates a thing? If they aren’t they should be. I don’t dislike the concept of marriage but I don’t want to ever get married just because of the romantic connotations society has with it (unless it’s for tax evasion purposes then I might consider it). Kissing is the one part of romance that for me is nonononono no thanks dont like that idea. Even seeing other people kiss makes me uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted October 17, 2022 Share Posted October 17, 2022 On 10/10/2022 at 1:26 AM, The Gray Warlock said: I don't care for spooning. I can never get a good night's sleep with someone's full dead weight on my arm, and I can't turn to get into a more comfortable position without waking her. So I get to wake up with a limp arm, stiff spine and foggy brain. How wonderful! Agreed. I always feel like I need to turn so much more when I'm sleeping next to someone. The knowledge that I can't turn freely makes me super aware of any discomfort. The funny thing though is sometimes when I'm laying in bed I imagine someone spooning me and it makes me feel comforted. Imagined spooning is nice. On 10/14/2022 at 6:34 AM, ClearSkiesAhear said: Sometimes I wonder if I’ve completely misunderstood what dates are because it sounds like just two people go do fun thing together to bond and have fun and I think that aspect of romance sounds really nice and fun. Are platonic dates a thing? If they aren’t they should be. They totally are. I've been on many platonic dates using the couchsurfer app. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentShadows Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 Kissing seems alright in a non-romantic context, cuddling and other physical touch is okay in small doses. Pet names are a harddddd pass, it always feels sleazy to me. Dating/marriage is meh. Any romance/gushy stuff icks me out. If someone confesses to me, I feel a flight or fight response LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGGHEAD Posted October 20, 2022 Share Posted October 20, 2022 most things are fine as long as i'm not involved 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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