AroAcedragon15 Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 So is there an age that is too young to know?I'm young(ish) and feel confident in my identity and then again I question it?Help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deltalorian Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 I feel like for sexuality, anything pre-puberty is too young (this age will vary slightly person to person). For romantic orientation, you should be able to know when it's acceptable for your age to be dating. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 I think it's ok to id as aromantic or asexual anytime it feels right for you. If you're younger there's a higher chance you might change your labels later though. Remember whatever you feel is valid. You don't need a label to justify it (not saying that's how you feel but I think sometimes we want the label to kinda prove that what we're feeling is allowed) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 Remember that puberty is a factor, and often changes a lot of things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 Who the fuck cares? Labels are for you, not your hypothetical future self. If it helps you to call yourself something now, go for it. If that changes in the future, then it changes. I don't know who's teaching kids these days that the things they call themselves in middle school or whatever are some big permanent life decision, but they need to shut up. When I was 13 I wanted to be an animator, now I'm in school for costume design, is anyone coming at me with torches and pitchforks over misidentifying? No. Just stay true to yourself in the moment and you're fine. I mean I guess there is an argument to be made that kids are more susceptible to things like peer pressure and other external forces (homophobic parents, for example) influencing the way they identify, but as long as you're sure you're identifying a certain way because you feel that way and not because all your friends feel that way, or because it sounds like a more palatable alternative to feelings you don't want to address, or whatever, then I don't see an issue. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arotr Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 I don't think the "too young" question is exclusive to aroace. Some people know for their whole lives that they're straight or gay or bi or ace (etc), and some people don't know until they're almost 70 years old. It works differently for every person. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angrboda Posted June 24, 2022 Share Posted June 24, 2022 (edited) If you're 8 years old & you think things like kissing & romance are gross, I'm pretty sure that's just called 'being human'. If you're 16 years old & you think things like kissing & romance are gross, it might mean you're aro. Edited June 24, 2022 by Angrboda 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted June 25, 2022 Share Posted June 25, 2022 2 hours ago, Angrboda said: If you're 8 years old & you think things like kissing & romance are gross, I'm pretty sure that's just called 'being human'. Yes, but it would be quite an exceptional 8 year old who knows and understands asexuality / aromanticism. So in practice, I don't think "too young to know" is a huge issue. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angrboda Posted June 25, 2022 Share Posted June 25, 2022 2 minutes ago, DeltaV said: Yes, but it would be quite an exceptional 8 year old who knows and understands asexuality / aromanticism. So in practice, I don't think "too young to know" is a huge issue. Good point. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acecream Posted June 27, 2022 Share Posted June 27, 2022 (edited) Well, if you are cis and allo hetero, people never say, you are „too young“. They start to put their own cis allo heteronormative expectations on toddlers already people who grow up queer are almost always told they are „too young“. and, yeah, it may seem that aromanticism is a Orientation you can‘t figure out at a young age bc „you haven‘t met the right one“ in this age and „nobody is interested in romance in that age“. But that’s amatonormative bullshit. people can know very young that they are gay, or hetero, or trans. So people clearly CAN know very young that they are aro. (But you have to remember that most kids with no interest in romance may still be alloromantic) i mean, I knew at a very young age (looking back). I just didn‘t have the words. And I (wanted to) believe(d) when adults told me that „the one will come“. I’m an aromantic adult now. And I was a aromantic kid. So, yeah, there ARE kids who are aro. And some of them know. The „only“ problem is, that nobody would listen to them nor take them serious Edited June 27, 2022 by Acecream 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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