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what causes romance or sex repulsion for you?


Holmbo
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For those who experience romance repulsion, in what situation does it occur and how does it feel? And also/or if you experience sex repulsion, how does that feel and when does it happen.

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Only time when I feel romance repulsion is if I try to imagine myself involved in romance. When that happens, I usually feel like gagging. As for sex repulsion, that can be set off by anything that looks sexual. Depending on what it is, it ranges from making me feel uncomfortable to making me feel strong disgust and wanting to get rid of whatever's causing it.

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I get romance repulsed when imagining myself in romance. Interestingly when fictional characters, who arent already in a relationship or have crushes on each other from the start, develope romantic attraction, I get repulsed too. I dont care when theyre together from the start but somehow I get really uncomfortable as soon as romantic stuff happens during the plot. I also hate romantic fanfics

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Honestly, I often feel repulsed by romance when I hear alloros talk about it, sometimes when I see it irl.

I remember before I found out I was aro I got grossed out by this one couple being lovey dovey and thought that was normal but to my confusion others thought it was cute.

Edited by crow
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Romantic repulsion: Kissing in a romantic context, flirting, lovey dovey stuff like holding hands. Private conversations between lovers in tv shows that get onto my fav shows somehow. I feel like a stalker when those parts come up. Then I say im not interested in your love life, fast forward, ok now back to the plot! 
 

Music lyrics really annoys me, anytime romance comes up can annoy me or make me go oh brother here we go again.

I remember going to my older cousins wedding with my family when I was little. The kissing part was about to happen, I turned my head right away. I haven’t changed that policy since I was a young lad. 

I also relate to a lot of other peoples replies about feeling disgusted imagining yourself in romance, and with getting annoyed by character shipping.

Sex repulsion, thats simple, genitals look gross / acts towards genitalia. How do people forget those are the same instruments for doing stinky gross activities in the can?

On a pure aesthetic level, these THINGS look revolting, or bizarre! Sex itself is bizarre if you think about it… 

Romo repulsion feels: Uncomfortable, disgusted, annoyed, a cumbersome inconvenience. Feel like a stalker during shows, why do I need to see you two handling ur love life? 

Sex repulsion feels: Same first two from romo, confused about allos actions, laugh at the absurdity of sex, and allos actions are weird to me. 

Edited by Ikarus
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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel romance and sex repulsed if I imagine myself engaging in romantic or sexual activities with boys. Imagining myself with woman or non binary people isn't as disgusting and gross, despite that I dislike the idea...

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On 1/17/2022 at 7:12 PM, Ikarus said:

How do people forget those are the same instruments for doing stinky gross activities in the can?

The vagina is a separate tube from the urethra. It’s just the penis that combines urination and sex. I admit, that’s kind of strange. But… still genitals are kind of, well… perhaps not the most beautiful body part. Not that enormously appealing outside of a sexual context!

I regard the desire for sex just as a primitive, animalistic impulse (I mean humans have a lot of such impulses, so why not…); it’s not so weird that this impulse can override our disgust (of course we still remain human beings with feelings that can be hurt…)

To me it is romance what makes sex weird. Because allo-allos elevate sex to this grand, deep, emotional, nearly metaphysical aspect of life (to know someone = to have sex with someone in the Hebrew Bible. I guess I can say I “know” a few people, but not because I had sex with them). Allo-aces make more sense to me. ?‍♂️

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i'm mostly romance-repulsed when it comes to myself in a romantic situation; when it's other people it's usually just weird/annoying or neutral.  like when i was dating my ex, doing romantic stuff was really uncomfortable and unnatural.  and i get kind of paranoid about people being romantically attracted to me.

i'd describe my feelings about women in a sexual context as repulsion, so i can imagine for (many) sex-repulsed aces it would just be that, but about everyone. 

so, to sum up, in descending order of appeal:

(having/imagining) sex with men: ? romance with anyone: ? sex with women: ? 

On 1/25/2022 at 3:18 PM, DeltaV said:

To me it is romance what makes sex weird.

right!  can't believe people have sex with people they love, that's so weird to me.

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On 1/27/2022 at 10:37 AM, aro_elise said:

right!  can't believe people have sex with people they love, that's so weird to me.

If it just accidentally happens to combine, I’m ok with it. Perhaps it might be even nice… but allo-allos usually make their romantic love (in one way or another) dependent on sex…

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I usually am romance repulsed when I image me in a romantic relationship XD If its passing mention, or quick lil scene, I'll enjoy it but if its the entirety of the conversation/book/scene I get annoyed as hell. I'm aegosexual so I thoroughly enjoy smut and sexual activity THAT IS NO WHERE NEAR ME ???

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  • 3 weeks later...

I remember experiencing romance repulsion a LOT when I found out that one of my close friends had a crush on me. I also experience it when I read too many romance stories or watch too many romance movies (although for some reason it happens waaaay more with straight couples…) When people give too many details about their relationships (cheesy pet names, what they wish they could do with their partner, etc.) I get romance repulsion, which I actually feel a bit guilty about since I should be happy for them. 

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What causes me romantic repulsion is when people talk about being in a relationship or getting married. I mean i don’t mind romantic moments in movies, series, books. But i lose interest when there’s too much romantic moments.

I would say that i’m like @aro_elise

Even though i’ve never been in a relationship before lol?

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  • 2 months later...

for me it's when i'm involved in romantic activities, i get completely repulsed if something romantic is expected of me, for example, i haven't kissed that many people but the ones i have, there was no room for interpretation of it being romantic so i was fine, and still then i was very lowkey repulsed, i can imagine that i wouldn't be able to kiss someone who was romantically interested in me. i have no problem listening to love songs or watching romantic movies, i actually really really like to watch and read love stories, unless i'm feeling anxious, then anything that has romance makes me feel repulsed automatically. 

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I am repulsed and perhaps a teensy bit triggered by all the posessiveness, professions of love that can happen (the old I can't imagine living without you, and then it gets into trigger warning territory after that). But not all romantic relationships are like that, I just hate the idealization and the fact that people can get visas to marry someone they've got 'intense feelings' for but a platonic person can't seem to do that unless they try to fit into that old marriage and romance framework. 

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