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I’m childfree and don’t understand why children is romanticized!


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So i’m childfree and don’t want children at all(my parents are fortunately accepting of it and support me) and something i don’t understand is why children is romanticized so much in the media? I mean of course i love babies and children they’re not so cute and a life changing thing as some parents say. 

If they scream, misbehave, shouting or crying i get very stressed out, very anxious and get very dark thoughts.

I don’t even have the mentality to have a partner or children. 

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On 12/4/2021 at 4:13 PM, Cocothecoconut said:

i don’t understand is why children is romanticized so much in the media?

Because it’s an important part in many people’s lives. Like having a career, which is also romanticized.

In general, the world represented in media is only vaguely related to the real world. It’s usually rose-tinted glasses: Something portrayed better than it is, or how we want it to be like (but it is not) – in other words: romanticized.

Also some very important aspects of life are ignored because they do not lend themselves to a “good movie”. It’s an extremely banal observation but I still have to state it: most of us live lives which would be very boring from a 3rd person’s point of view. But for ourselves they are not boring.

On the other hand, media can be overly cynical.

But only extremely rarely – as rare as hen’s teeth – media is realistic.

Now, given that, I still think that romance is the unchallenged world record holder for unrealistic portrayals. I mean even allos are that self-aware that they put “romance” in “romanticized”.

Edited by DeltaV
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children seem like a a hassle to even just supervise (i've watched over 10yr olds, and 1yr olds, and maybe younger ages idk, annoying to find entertainment for them)

not to mention caring for one for about 18 years: feeding, bathing (when needed), getting a roof over their heads, and a normal education

 

at the same time i feel guilty that i wont pass on anything to a next generation

i wanna be a parent, but not be a parent, and since that's impossible idk what else to say

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I mean a lot of it is just that raising kids is a lot of effort and it is nice to be praised for things you do. This is especially true for parenting which is generally unpaid labour so doesn't get financial rewards like a promotion.

Parenting is also something you can't really take a break off from unless you are quite wealthy. It can also be tough, I know I was not an easy child to raise. So for someone like my mum having a bit of praise every now and then, having people remind her that she was doing something wonderful was to be honest a necessity. If you have just got your kids ready in the morning, then had a tough day at work, then spent the evening doing the unpaid labor of kid wrangling and housekeeping, you deserve a bit of romanticism, its a healthier celebration than alcohol.

Also for my dad, having some sympathy for the difficulties of trying to parent when most days he would barely be home by the time I got to bed, and having some praise for actively being involved in raising kids rather than that just being treated as a punchline was important. From my point of view as a bloke I would prefer a push for making fatherhood overly romanticised than it being seen as a joke or as unmanly.

I'd add to this, media usually tries to romanticise the life that the viewers they want at least a bit. You aren't likely to see someone go a TV show and tell their own audience that all the accomplishments that they have made are overhyped rubbish outside of the safe harbour of comedy. 

This is especially useful for more political media where you can set an opponent up who supposedly lacks the apparent virtue your people have. e.g. romanticise achievement in work against an opponent seen as workshy. romanticise education against an opponent seen as uneducated (or romanticise common sense against an opponent seen as elitist) and in particular for this topic, romanticise family against an opponent that is seen as anti family.

 

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On 12/5/2021 at 9:42 PM, A User said:

children seem like a a hassle to even just supervise (i've watched over 10yr olds, and 1yr olds, and maybe younger ages idk, annoying to find entertainment for them)

not to mention caring for one for about 18 years: feeding, bathing (when needed), getting a roof over their heads, and a normal education

 

at the same time i feel guilty that i wont pass on anything to a next generation

i wanna be a parent, but not be a parent, and since that's impossible idk what else to say

I'm guessing this feeling is pretty common. There are ways to be a part of raising the next generation without being a parent. Like having a job that involves children or teens. Or being involved in some volunteer work like coaching a sports team. Or helping a friend or family member raise their kids.

As for the original question, raising children is essential for humans continued existence so it makes sense to me that many people see this as very meaningful and fulfilling.

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i don't get it either.

my sister recently had a kid and ever since she and my mom keep asking me when it'll be "my turn" even though they already know full well i'm not having any kids. it's stressful enough to be around the baby when they visit for a day, i couldn't even fathom the stress of having a kid of my own.

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