More fun to do things alone

[roboticanary]

Really interesting article here by Bella de Paulo, basically:

people expect to enjoy their leisure activities more when they are going to be with a friend than if they will be alone.

But the article explains why that might not be true.

Really interesing stuff. As someone who would much rather go to places alone than with others it puts into writing what I have been thinking about for a while.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/living-single/202110/why-some-things-are-more-fun-do-alone

It also, while it talks about this in terms of friendship, is discussing something which I think turns up even more so in romance, the idea that your enjoyment is distracted by worrying about what the other person is thinking.

What do you think? is this something you have experienced, and are you the sort of person who prefers seeing things alone or do you prefer to be with friends?

[Erederyn]

Interesting article! 

I have experienced this a bit with people I don't know as well or am not as comfortable with but this isn't the case with people I know well. I enjoy doing some things on my own but I often find them more fun and memorable when I do them with friends. I'm pretty lucky, though, with having had friends throughout my life who are chill and don't have high expectations as we often find that what we're doing is not as important as the fact that we're getting to spend time together. I actually sometimes rush through things and don't as fully take it in when I'm alone. So worrying about what others are thinking is not something I've encountered much. I guess it helps that most of my friends have pretty similar tastes as I do and I tend to know my friend's preferances really well.

But I do think in general doing things alone should be more acceptable and encouraged. There's still a slight stigma to it. Especially going out for dinner alone (I mean, I've often encountered needing a minimum of 2 people for reservations ?), which sucks. Sometimes I want to eat something yummy without having to talk in between bites hahah. 

 

[mewix]

Depends on the activity I mean a lot of board games need at least 2 people for XD but there are a few solitare type or rpg that don't. Or if ur playing against each other or whatever.

As for eating out depends on the place if it is a formal place I probably wouldnt go alone but if its a snacky type places it is fine and chill.

I think doing things with friends can be fun as they introduce you to things but yeah it can also be fun alone as you get to explore ur own way with less pressures.

 

 

 

[such]

I enjoy doing many things alone.

I've really gotten used to eating at restaurants by myself. It's no longer weird for me at all. It's usually more like I'll stop by for dinner somewhere on my way to or from somewhere. And because I'm busy and always on the move, it's kind of just convenient. It's not like I'm going on 'a date' by myself. 

Going to the cinema by myself is still a little bit weird, but I've done it quite a few times. 

But yeah, I wish it was more normalised to do things and go places alone.

[th-emptyhearse]

Hm yeah interesting.

In general I do prefer to do things with friends, but I can also enjoy myself alone sometimes. I do really enjoy sharing experiences with the people I'm close to, however, so even if that entails a little bit of worrying about them I am willing to do that to do something with them. 

I definitely do agree however that it should be more normalised to go and do fun things and go placeslike restaurants alone, all the power to you to go out and do things alone!

[Blake]

It was interesting to read. I love doing things alone because I can take my time doing it, no rush. When I am with friends, I have to think that we all should be enjoying ourselves so the activities done should be "worthy" which brings a bit of stress if someone gets bored. Thus, being and playing alone is very satisfying for me because is for me (I usually didn't do things for me).