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such

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  • Name
    such
  • Orientation
    triple A
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    Australia

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  1. It's possible to find someone good-looking and get that nervousness and excitement without it necessarily being a romantic/sexual crush. It might help to ask yourself when you are around them, what do you want to do? Do you feel compelled to touch, kiss or be physically closer to them? - I think that's a sign of physical attraction Do you want to get to know them? Spend more time with them? Do you want to be their friend? - Could be platonic attraction/squish Do you want to go on a date with them? Could you imagine dating them and being in a relationship? Do you want them to notice you romantically? - Could be romantic attraction
  2. I am about to move out from living with flatmates and start living alone, and I can't wait to have my own place. I'll have a lot more freedom to invite people over. I'm not big on the usual Christmas traditions, but if you're the host you can make the rules I guess.
  3. I've been meaning to post about this since the book first came out, but for the aros like me who are into romance novels, you might be familiar with Ali Hazelwood. She wrote the Love Hypothesis and a few other contemporary romance books. Most of her books have low-key aspec characters. Her most recent one, Love Theoretically has an aroace character and actually (briefly) explores the character's struggle with coming out. I think it's huge for a mainstream novel like this to explore aromanticism. Ali Hazelwood's novels are hugely popular so it's going to reach a lot of people. Plus I really liked the character and how they fit into the story. Worth checking out if you're into fictional romance.
  4. Yeah I agree that O had a lot of potential as an ace character that was wasted. It's a shame that some key scenes got cut and I found myself getting more and more disappointed the further the season went on. But there were some strengths to the character too, she had a lot of great moments throughout the season, where she was portrayed as being cool and confident and an empathetic human (which is so rare for a canonically ace character!) For me the most disappointing part was the ending, where she attempts to make apologies. She just didn't seem that genuine to me and continues to be widely hated until someone else makes a gesture to forgive her at the very end. That's a pretty weak redemption imo. It's no wonder that so many people read her as a villain throughout the season. And yes a real shame that aromanticism isn't included! She was sort of queer coded though.
  5. My top songs were all from the Heartstopper soundtrack...
  6. Although I think the depiction of frienships in the show are really good, I think there is something about How I Met Your Mother that is incredibly amatonormative. Ted's vehement belief that he will fall in love with the perfect person and the way he devotes his emotional energy into finding the one perpetuates the narrative of the 'soulmate', that there is a romantic happily ever after for everyone. There is one line I recall where Ted jokingly goes "wow if I'm not married in three years there is something seriously wrong with me" which is a bit arophobic (not to mention there is a fair amount of homophobia and transphobia littered throughout the show) I actually partly blame this show as one of the reasons why it took me so long to figure out I was aromantic and asexual. I started watching the show when I was 14 and finished it when I was 21. I thought my life would look something like the characters on the show when I was in my 20s, and it didn't really turn out that way. I do wish I had a solid group of friends like that though. I still watch the show occasionally but I'm a lot more cynical about it now.
  7. Aro questioning is one of the most confounding existential crises you can have, where you question what you are capable of feeling and doing and being, and you try to figure out what you actually want vs what you were told you were supposed to want. It is incredibly confusing and sad and lonely. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with it. It took me a while to accept that I was aro. I am a bit obsessed with romance genres, I also love that shit. So I explored microlabels for a while, trying to figure out where I 'fit' on the spectrum, but then I decided to give up on that. I don't feel like I need to figure out if I'm 'grey-' or 'demi-', nor do I need any microlabels (even though microlabels are incredibly valid!). I *know* I am aromantic because I don't feel romantic attraction to anyone, and I never have. Even if I wake up the next day and suddenly find myself attracted to people, that still really wouldn't change how I identify today. And it doesn't change the things I want to do and be right now. Identifying as aro doesn't and shouldn't close off any possibilities for you in the future. Instead it does the opposite - it opens up the possibility that you could exist happily without the conventional romantic narrative. Saying that you are aro is simply a way to describe a type of experience, so if the label fits, then you are aro. And if the label isn't helpful and is just causing you too much confusion, then you might find it easier to be unlabelled, and that's okay too.
  8. lol yep we all have that aunty! Yes some of my colleagues have a background in social work and I used to work for a charity organisation, so it's basically the same thing but for a city council. We were really limited by what we could show because it's hard to get the screening rights to movies. We're just showing an independent film called Akron. btw feel free to dm me if you want!
  9. Yes I'd imagine there would be a lot of commonality if you're an overseas Pakistani! I do a lot of things in my job, mostly running programs, projects or events that respond to issues in the community. One that I'm excited about is a queer movie night we are holding at the library! Our local council has never done any activities for LGBTQIA+ people before, so it will be nice to provide a space for queer people at the library.
  10. I'm a community worker in local government. I don't think I have a very confusing job, but again when you have parents from a different background or are not as well educated, it can be hard for them to understand who you fully are sometimes. For migrant kids, there can also be a literal language barrier between you and your parents, and the language for your specific experiences and identity may not exist in certain cultures. I don't want to generalise because different people will have different experiences with their family. But it can be hard sometimes!
  11. Last year The Wiggles introduced some non-binary characters, including a unicorn that uses they/them pronouns https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/08/23/the-wiggles-non-binary-unicorn/
  12. Joan and Sherlock from Elementary - the whole show is centred on their relationship, their deep commitment to each other and the way their lives are inextricably linked. The show actually explores each of them dabbling in romance and dating (not with each other), but ultimately it never works out because their lives aren't suited to 'conventional' romantic relationships. It's not perfect, but in my eyes it is some of the best QPR rep! They care about each other so much and it's not romantic or sexual 😍 And simply the fact that this is a show where the two main characters, a cishet man and a cishet woman, do not fuck each other and have no romantic tension throughout all seven seasons is groundbreaking 👌
  13. such

    DELETED

    I think of most romantic or romance-coded behaviour as cultural, not natural. Dating, courting, wooing etc. are all things that society have deemed as 'romantic' and they are always laden with cultural norms and expectations. This includes marriage as a social institution. Marriage is not natural and @roboticanary you make some good points on that. What I do think is natural or innate is attraction, including romantic attraction that can be strong and enduring enough between two people to motivate a life-long committed relationship. And marriage or not, I think people do recognise that there are benefits to a committed long-term relationship if two people really love each other. The problem with romance in society is that it's assumed to be compulsory for everyone, it is restricted to monogamy, and it has become the only acceptable model for relationships.
  14. My family is Chinese and I wouldn't say that getting married is being pushed on me (yet), more just unspokenly expected? Like I just know that my mum and dad have always expected grandkids and will expect me to get married, they don't even have to say it. It's what every Chinese family does, they raise their kids until those kids have their own kids and I know my parents have this vision of looking after their grandkids one day. Soon all my mum's friends of a similar age will start bragging about their grandchildren and she'll feel left out. I do think my parents are starting to get the vibe though that it might not happen with me or my sister. So far we've been spared from any pressure from them.
  15. I enjoyed it. For me, it was really relatable and had really similar experiences to Georgia, the main character in the book. But that's because I also just happen to be an AFAB sex-averse aroace like she is and went through a lot of the same internal conflict (even though I didn't realise I was ace until I was 23). Definitely cried at some parts. I don't think it's groundbreakingly good writing, but it's YA, so I wasn't expecting too much. In terms of the ending, I mean, I would encourage you to read it and judge for yourself because we are just so starved for aroace representation there are no real alternatives at the moment ???
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