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Questions for non-SAM aromantics

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How would you describe your sexual feelings, if you absolutely had to?

Why do you choose not to follow the split-attraction model?

How did you find this label for yourself?

I'm just curious, that's all. I've never heard of non-SAM aros before joining this forum, and I'm curious to learn about you all!

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I choose to go with the label grey-sexual, since it tends to make the most sense to others and me, but that’s just because I’m not sure where I fall on the spectrum. I’m only 16, so I don’t want to pick a sexual label, although I’m definitely aro :)  

If I had to describe my feelings, I’d say that I like the idea of sex, but would never ever actually participate. I love hugs and cuddles and kisses (sometimes), but when it comes to sex... not so much. 

At the moment, the split attraction model just doesn’t fit me, so I’m just grey for now!

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It's a little weird, since i technically only describe myself as just "aro" (i dont use "non sam aro" that much anymore, but the feeling is there) but i also can, in some case, call myself allosexual in some cases. Not really ace that being said.


The thing is : it's blury ! my sexual attraction is few and a little unsure , but i am not really ace either. I do not want a "grey sexual" label. Nothing against them, i just feel like a blank space open to diverse possibilities is better. 

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I'm kind of non-SAM aro in the sense that I'm 1000x more likely to talk about or emphasize my being aromantic than asexual. Like, if I had to choose between having an aro flag and an ace flag, I would choose aro because it's just more important to me, and shapes me as a person more. That's not to say I won't talk about being asexual, or pretend I'm not. Being aroace was always kind of non-SAM to me to begin with since they're both a- labels, like how my friend who is panromantic and pansexual always just says pansexual. Even my mom uses asexual when she really means aromantic. That's just my experiences and thoughts though!

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  • 6 months later...

It's kind of funny cause I figured I was ace first, then aroace, then had a Major gender crisis for like a year and a half, then circled back around to realizing that I'm actually pretty neutral (and maybe even favorable!) towards sex. But absolutely romance repulsed. Just. Euhhhh. Not for me. So I was relating a Lot to the aroallo things I saw posted around, and eventually I dropped the ace, a bit. I think I'm still technically asexual, but combining my desire to have sex without a romantic relationship, and my preference for women/nb people, I haven't been feeling very much like it. Sure, I still don't feel any desire to bang someone when I look at them. But I can't really relate to the aroace stuff either. So I kind of--idk, stuck in the middle. My romantic orientation has had so much more of an impact on my life and the way I see the world, and even tho I absolutely support SAM users, being aro just kind of feels like it trumps everything else, y'know? It's the one part of my orientation/gender I'm absolutely certain of. 

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