Alcairm Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 I am a grad student and had 2 senior phd’s overseeing my project. I knew one of them was attracted to me the day I met him and I would catch him fixating on me. It didn’t feel sexual, but aesthetic or romantic, like glassy eyes. I was worried he was going to try dating me at some point so I tried to keep our conversations work related but eventually I decided I was being paranoid and showed him my personality and we became friends. Then he quickly developed an intense crush on me and I immediately became uncomfortable because I’m SUPER SUPER romance repulsed. I was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t even look at him. He could tell I was uncomfortable so he tried really hard to leave me alone. He stopped overseeing my project as a result and I worked with the other phd mostly. Whenever I went into the office to talk about my results with the other phd, the guy who had a crush on me would look at me wishfully and ask me if I was going to also go to whatever drink night was coming up. I always said no, partially because I was avoiding him and partially because I’ve been very antisocial lately. I can tell he isn’t trying to make me uncomfortable and he feels very bad that he’s making me feel that way but also just misses hanging out with me. I felt too anxious to go into the office and even the lab since he was there sometimes and I’d have to deal with this conversation and wishful looks. I got in trouble for not doing enough work or going in, so I finally told my professor what was going on. She issued a no contact rule so he’s not allowed to talk to me anymore. Through my professor he said he didn’t have the intention at all to make me uncomfortable and is very sorry. Although I feel so much more at ease going into work now, I feel like I reported someone who really is a good person and was trying his best to not make me uncomfortable. It’s not like he was sexually harassing me but I also can’t help my romance repulsion. Do you think I did the wrong thing? Whenever I look up harassment examples, they’re always about sexual not romantic situations. Most people brush off romantic attraction no problem so I’m confused if what I did was wrong. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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