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Standup Magazine Articles - Aromantic and Asexual


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OK, I'm a little biased in putting this on here as I was one of the contributors to the article!

 

Just to warn you this article is very long and may be a trigger for some people.  It's primarily about aromantics and it highlights difficulties we can face.

 

 
In addition, if you want to do a search on the website of Standup Magazine, there are several other articles about being either asexual or aromantic so it might be worth adding the links of these somewhere to this forum too? 
 
I've also posed this on Aven as I know it may strike a cord with some people over there too.
 
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An excellent, well-written article!! I particularly liked the point about the definition of romantic attraction being blurry even to romantics in the first place. It really puts into perspective how much we elevate and prioritize a feeling that is far from universal (in its presence and in its expression). Thanks for sharing this :)

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On 8/10/2018 at 11:48 AM, AFlyingPiglet said:

OK, I'm a little biased in putting this on here as I was one of the contributors to the article!

 

Just to warn you this article is very long and may be a trigger for some people.  It's primarily about aromantics and it highlights difficulties we can face.

It's good to have an actual aro article. Rather than it being mentioned in passing or as a footnote in an ace article.

On 8/10/2018 at 7:29 PM, running.tally said:

An excellent, well-written article!! I particularly liked the point about the definition of romantic attraction being blurry even to romantics in the first place. It really puts into perspective how much we elevate and prioritize a feeling that is far from universal (in its presence and in its expression). Thanks for sharing this :)

I wonder if at least part of the reason for this blurriness is conflation of romance and romantic coded activities.

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This article made me think a lot. Something that struck a chord with me was how they described a common reaction we get when coming out as "absolute condescension". Being told that when I find the right person I'll understand; I pretty much expect that from people. I'm sure most of us do. 

 

Actually, they addressed a lot of things that are just a way of life for many of us and made it sound like these are legitimate issues and people should care and it just... was weirdly validating and alarming at the same time? Did anyone else get that?

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I like this quote.

 

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“I think the prioritization of romantic relationships harms everyone. It devalues friendships and any other sort of relationships; people are judged for prioritizing even very close friendships over their romantic partners. Combined with really unhealthy perceptions about what constitutes romantic behaviour (e.g. pursuing someone until they give in, putting up with abusive behaviour as a demonstration of love/trust, the idea that someone who loves you will know what you need without you telling them, the idea that ‘spontaneity’ and lack of communication in sexual encounters is more romantic), prioritizing romance can be very damaging even to alloromantic people. The idea that romantic relationships are superior to other relationships can even contribute to rape culture, as with the concept of being ‘friendzoned’. I do think that this, coupled with the general lack of awareness of aromanticism in popular culture, negatively impacts aromantic people.”

 

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