Holmbo

Some aromantics wants to be in a romantic relationship. They just don't feel romantic attraction to the person they're with.

I feel like there's a difference between confidence and self acceptance or self worth. You might feel not confident about your body but still feel like your body does not define your value.

I will start by saying I hope I'm not offending someone by making a post with this topic. I know the concept is sometimes used in transphobic ways and that is not my intention. The reason I'm curious about the concept of abolishing gender is that when I think about the progress of society it seems like gender more and more would become something primary used for self identification and not really a useful way to categories. So I'm curious in such a context what new terms would be needed, for example to indicate ones sexual or romantic preference, or to make visible privileges. If you know of any interesting writing or other resources about this I would be happy if you shared them with me.

I think the best way is just tell her what you wrote here and have her decide.

Hmm difficult! I'd think fame could be useful to affect politics and environmentalism... but you can be famous but disliked. So I'll choose Money Money or a super fit body

Maybe instead of focusing on labeling your relationship you could each describe to each other what relationship you desire. When you Guest basic write you want a romantic relationship, what does that mean? How does it differ from a qpr for you. These things can differ from person to person.

Now I want a story where someone kisses an enchanted frog and the resulting human is pissed cause they enjoyed being a frog. Or maybe it doesn't have to be a frog (cause it seems to me frog life is not very pleasant due to the many predators). It could be more like a Shrek situation where someone enjoys being a strong monster but is transformed back into a puny human.

Yay I'm happy to get more discussion about this. I don't have any thoughts about the continuing plot since I've only read up to book four. I've seen so many fans rave about the books but to me the show improves on things with every aspect. As if the books were a draft to it. How did you find out about the series? I saw some kind of tagline (don't remember where) that this show was "game of thrones in space" and thought that seemed fun. What did you enjoy the most? The world building. It's just so rich and understated. Even at the start when I wasn't invested in the characters I just loved all the details. Like the corps Miller examined in season two had a "pancreatitis pump" what does that mean? Don't know but I love it. Do you think there is going to be sort of a continuation (under the form of movies/new seasons?) I think so but I'm not sure how connected it will be too the show. Maybe if not all the actors are available they will just bring in a few and have a new cast. What would you change if you could? I would make the Alex actor not be a creep so he could have been there all seasons. Also it would have been cool to have more actors returning between seasons. Like the Havelock character was supposed to return for season 4.

If you don't enjoy I don't see a reason to read it. I think it's good and brings all different kinds of aro topics into the story. My only complain, which I didn't really think about until seeing it mentioned by others, is that you can tell every other character in the book is written only to be a part of the main characters arc. That makes them feel a bit flat and at times stereotypes.

@Georgi @DeltaV @eatingcroutons what did you think?

I feel like there are many aro candidates in the Expanse. Bobbie and Amos are other candidates.

I feel the same. I don't remember all of moomin in detail but I have some memory of Snufkin (or Snusmumriken as we call him) wanting to just go out wandering alone a lot of the time.

The Expanse is finished. What a great run! MVP of the whole thing: Drummer. Honorable mention to Holden for giving no fucks about who he pisses of. Although at the end I still feel mid season three was peak expanse. What do you think?

I might read Peter McGraws book Solo. I don't know if it will be out this year though. It's in development.

For those who experience romance repulsion, in what situation does it occur and how does it feel? And also/or if you experience sex repulsion, how does that feel and when does it happen.

Yeah totally. And also movement in general is so important. Why do we have a culture that frowns on it in most situations. We tell kids that they should be active and play around but then seem to feel that after a certain age it's no longer necessary.

@JediTotally agree. The first part also stems from the idea that romance is a superior relationship to other ones. This is very common in our current cultures but it doesn't need to be that way. If we see friendship as the superior relationship the persons could in fact be rejecting you Guestoliver. If the situation is one where you're offering friendship and they want romantic relationship.

Hmm very intriguing question. Unfortunately I don't have experience with this. Usually in couple relationship the advice would be to break up if one persons needs can not be fulfilled, but maybe there is some way for you to fulfill it in a way your bf would be ok with. I'm not sure how that would be but maybe if we look at other examples it could be inspirational. For example in couples where one person doesn't like to express affection they can have code words for it. Like they decide a phrase means "I love you" so the other person feels more comfortable with it. Maybe there could be some way for you to interact that's a proxy for physical contact?

I suppose whatever we do we miss out on opportunities. If we attempt to be in a relationship we miss out on being single. If we try looking for dates we miss out on spending that time and attention on something else. Just remember if you don't date that doesn't mean your time was wasted. If you're uncertain about your romantic or sexual orientation maybe try to focus on building deep emotional friendships. That will serve you no matter how you choose to identify in the future.

A thread for random movie discussions. Post what movies you've watched lately and what you thought of them. Comment on other peoples thoughts. Broad spoilers is fine but if you go into plot in detail please put spoiler mark. Two movies I watched recently and enjoyed is Barb and Star go to vista del mar and Encanto. The first movie I watched cause it was on the top list of a critics review for a podcast I'm subscribing to. It's about two middle aged women who does everything together who decide to leave their comfort zone and go on a vacation. It was a very silly and at the first I found it kinda boring but after 40 minutes or so I got really into it and it was hilarious. Encanto I watched cause I watched the trailer on tv. Swedish public television has a kinda weird Disney tradition which involves showing trailer for upcoming Disney movies. I thought the story and animation was really good but was kinda indifferent to the songs.

This article is not specifically about aromanticism but I think still applies since it is about being a deliberately single man. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202201/single-manhood-is-so-much-more-the-stereotypes

Interesting, but also confusing! What makes you not want to have sex with a stranger! Is it concerns separate from the physical desire, like it might not be safe or some practical concern? Or is it part of the attraction equation somehow? It's ok if you don't want to answer.