Holmbo

Hehe, I was thinking a general thread of sharing personal insights about being aromantic. Wisdom we've learned that might be useful to others.

The background for the text is grey but headings have a green background and there's green and gray colors at the top. Maybe we should add an arrow to the aro pride flag. Would that help you?

For those of you who have been identifying as aromantic, or similar, for a while. What have you learned? Any advice you would give to someone more new to the identity?

That's a good point.

I feel like most platonic attraction has much less worship than a romantic one. I also wonder, what kind of attraction would you call someone being attracted to be a follower? Like attracted to a leader of some kind, be it spiritual, business etc. I was reflecting if that could be seen as alterous attraction. If you're attracted emotionally. Not just following them for some practical reason.

Would alterous attraction have aspect of worship to it? I'm thinking about older types of relationships and how there sometimes seem to be a bit of awe to them.

Maybe you shouldn't then

Record of a space born few has an aro allo pov.

Why is hugging or holding hands a concern then?

Maybe you need some distance to your friend until it passes

In the last season of The Expanse there's a non binary character. They only have a small role and I don't remember if their pronouns are even said on the show but it's been stated by the show runners that they're non binary.

I've been thinking lately that maybe I should try out some sexual interaction again. I've always been sex favorable but when I've done sexual activities in the past they've always bored me. However I've been learning more about my body since then so it made me think I could enjoy it more. Last night I had a sex dream which is very unusual for me and it made me curious. But I'm not sure how to go about experimenting. I don't want a romantic relationship but I also don't feel sure enough to just go on tinder and tell a stranger I want to have sex. I also feel uncomfortable bringing up the idea with any of my friends because I don't want to complicate any friendships. So I'm asking you fellow aro ace what's your experience? Allo aces experience might also be helpful.

Yeah I reread the first book pretty recently and I didn't realize until then that it's a good representarion. I view Salander as asexual and alloromantic though. She enjoys sex but it's stated later by one character that she doesn't seem to have an orientation, which I view as she does not experience sexually attraction. I read in a Swedish polyamory group a discussion about non monogamy in fiction and one person said that Berger's relationship with Blomkvist and her husband meant a lot to them as it was the first ethical non monogamy relationship they'd encountered. @Storm_leopardcat It's interesting that you feel sex free romantic relationships are more common than vise versa because I feel the opposite. In my country it would be viewed very weird by most if a romantic couple did not have sex.

This post made reflected broader about the LGBT+ community. My view is that it's not that useful to view LGBT+ as one contained community. For example is a straight, cis, alloromantic demisexual person part of LGBT+ ? I would say so, but that doesn't mean other LGBT+ will feel they have anything specific in common with them. There will be experiences that only some LGBT+ people can relate to and they might want to form separate spaces in which they can share them unhindered. On the other hand some of the prejudices affecting LGBT+ can affect straight cis people as well. Prejudices tied into gender expectations and amatonormativity. It's useful to make common cause I think rather than to see all of LGBT+ as one group clearly distinct from other.

You can't make someone understand something. You can just explain and hope that they understand.

With that I don't mean I'm not aromantic anymore. Just that being solo is such an automatic thing for me now I don't even really consider it much. Most content about aromanticism seems so obvious to me or kinda overly dramatic. Maybe it will change if I explore new connections.

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Your orientation doesn't dictate what you can or can't do. You could be aromantic but enjoy dating and ending up in a committed romantic relationship. Or you could be alloromantic but not want to date and prefer only friendships. My advice is for you to try to get as much different experiences as possible. Reflect on how you feel about it and follow where your interest takes you.

I took a long break in the series because I didn't much enjoy the earliest Miles books. But recently I got back into it and now I'm approaching the books you mentioned above. I'm interested to see what they will be like.

Me and my friend is having a Russian themed party

Maybe it will always feel hard to prove a negative. I personally identify more with solo and single identity rather than being aro or ace. As I see it many aros couple up in romantic relationships. I feel I have more in common with a solo alloromantic person than an aro in, say a qpr.

Same as in Sweden with gammelpojk = old boy I've not heard any term for unmarried old women but now when I googled it they were apparently called gammelkulla in some places. Kulla just means unmarried woman as far as I can tell. Funnily the term for old married woman was kärring which now is an insult, similar to calling someone an old hag.

I didn't know about aromanticism until I was about 25. I don't know if I would have ID as aromantic and asexual at 16 if I'd known about them. Probably not since I was very invested in the idea of sex and just really longing to have done it.

I totally relate. To me the feelings are just weird and they seem too easily evoked to feel flattering

Secular Aros are ok. You can just have the food and the home decorations for the holidays