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Holmbo

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Everything posted by Holmbo

  1. Holmbo
    My boss scheduled a work conference trip the 14th to 15th. She checked with the whole team about the date and none protested so clearly my colleagues has the right idea about the non importance of this holiday.
  2. Holmbo
    I'm sorry you're having to experience this! I don't suffer much from sexism myself but I certainly have many things which makes me angry. Have you looked into getting therapy? It helps us handle crappy things that happen. I'm seeing a psychotherapist ATM and before I did some CBT.
  3. Holmbo
    Weelcoooome!
  4. Holmbo
    Everyone is different. The terms are just short hand to describe our experience. I personally don't find microlabels useful for me, aromantic is enough for me. Why do you think you feel scared?
  5. Holmbo
    That's so over the line! You should report her for harassment. No matter her opinions she should not talk to you that way.
  6. Holmbo
    I also loved Everything Everywhere All At Once. Strangely I don't feel any urge to rewatch it though. For me the discovery was such a big part of the experience. I will rewatch it at some point I'm sure.
  7. Holmbo
    I've never heard of medication affecting romantic attraction. Interesting question. I suppose in theory it could affect it by changing mood and maybe also feelings of attachment.
  8. Holmbo
    Whatup
  9. Holmbo
    For me it's civic service of different kinds. I would love if I didn't have to work at all and could just spend my time volunteering to create fun and educational activities for others.
  10. Holmbo
    That's a good point. The interpretation is not the same as the expression. But doesn't "imposed" give a very strong sense of deliberation though? It's not like our attraction is a choice. If I was a heterosexual woman I might be sexually attracted to another woman that had gender expression which I associate with a man. That doesn't mean I'm denying that she's a woman. It's just my bodies response. If orientations are to have any meaning we also have to acknowledge that gender interpretation is different from gender identity. Or we should make new kinds of categories for attraction.
  11. Holmbo
    Is it though? I'd argue gender expression is what influences sexual and romantic attraction rather than the identity. Most peoples attraction doesn't change if they were to change pronouns.
  12. Holmbo
    What does identifying with your gender mean if it was only a social construct? What does it mean to be a woman for example. We know it's not physical attributes and not which hormones we have. So is it personality, what makes us feel like a gender? I don't totally agree. Words meaning shift overtime and different words has different meaning depending on context and cultural differences.
  13. Holmbo
    I've also thought this. But I wonder: if gender is a social construct then what's the difference between being gender non conforming and being transgender?
  14. Holmbo
    If anyone watches Ted Lasso and wants to play prediction game for season three. Post on Reddit or here.
  15. Holmbo
    Have you ever dreamt something aro themed?
  16. Holmbo

    I found this very interesting:

    "Dreams about lost things and other minor disasters may give us some kind of competitive advantage. A study in Consciousness and cognition in 2014 looked at students about to take a high-stakes exam. The students who had the most intense stress dreams the night before the exam — often involving lost things, lateness, or, in one memorable case, being handed a slice of bread instead of the exam paper — ended up getting higher grades. The researchers told the Guardian they believe this is something called threat simulation theory, in which brains rehearse all the things that can go wrong to help us cope when they do. So when you dream of forgetting your pen and your pants on the day of an important exam, your brain's gearing up to help you deal with something stressful. "

    Some consolation if we're having stress dreams

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. MulticulturalFarmer

      MulticulturalFarmer

      Eh, well some are a bit personal and may not be the best for sharing on the public forums. But in terms of one that I can share, I'd say just hugging, snuggling, and cuddling are very common themes.

      Ah, okay. It reminds me of the Icelandic word, "loghólmi" it also means "log islet" (it's pronounced a bit differently than what many would expect). For Stockolm it is spelt Stokkhólmi. Thanks for sharing that tidbit, I'd like to learn Swedish, I can get some words with the knowledge of Icelandic, but certainly not everything.

      Aren't you scared of telling people online where you're from (like the city)? Maybe that's just me lol or I very much like privacy laws and restrictions :)

    3. Holmbo

      Holmbo

      No why would it matter if they knew the city? There are around a million people here, depending on how one counts. The only reason I don't share my identity on here is I think it's nice to have an anonymous place to post that people who interact with me in real life couldn't find.

    4. MulticulturalFarmer

      MulticulturalFarmer

      Yeah, I tend to forget how large Stockholm is, lol. I've been in villages my entire life and rarely venture out to capital cities or major metropolises.

  17. Holmbo
    As I understand from the interview with her she doesn't really factor in online communities. She didn't say so but all of her descriptions were about personal one on one relationships and her interaction with them. But I think if we wanted to apply some of the messages would be for all of us to take initiative about writing and to share vulnerable things.
  18. Holmbo
    It's ok not to be ok
  19. Holmbo
    I wonder if this differs from culture to culture. For example in American culture it seems expected to bring your spouse to a work party while in Sweden they are generally not invited.
  20. Holmbo
    I was listening to a podcast interview about this text and it made me think of this community. Some good metaphors for building a community https://mixedmag.co/2022/11/30/the-freedom-in-community-choosing-the-forest-by-monique-murad/
  21. Holmbo

    I don't think that A man called Otto should be allowed to be played at Swedish movie theaters

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Holmbo

      Holmbo

      Yes it feels treasonous somehow. There's very little Swedish media that is known abroad so a man called Ove is one of the few potentials of having foreigners ever see a Swedish movie. If there's an American remake many readers are probably more likely just to see that one. So I don't think we should support it financially.

      Now if the adaptation was flawed I could be up for a remake. For example with The girl with the dragon tattoo I thought the Swedish version was a bit lacking so I enjoyed the remake. But with a man called Ove it's a great adaptation. I suppose the cat doesn't look scrawny enough but from the poster that seems to not have been remedied 😄

    3. Storm_leopardcat

      Storm_leopardcat

      This was interesting to hear about, I did not know it was a remake, especially of a Swedish movie!
      You have intrigued me.

    4. Holmbo

      Holmbo

      You see! It's already happening. The Swedish one is called A Man Called Ove in English.

  22. Holmbo
    I'm reading the book now and it's pretty good so far. I like how it brings up stuff I almost only see in aro circles, like qpr, but I hope it will get more into actual advice to eventually.
  23. Holmbo
    I'm surprised to hear that considering a podcast I listened to praised him for being very good at writing romance. He really sells that the couple are into each other.
  24. Holmbo
    I was watching Ted Lasso and was enjoying this quote from a character. There's no sign he's aromantic and his troubled by the fact, but I still enjoyed it because it reminded me of all my happiest memories solo.
  25. Holmbo

    Happy new year

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