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Everything posted by mossy

  1. mossy

    wlw appropriation

    Nah I don't think so, those are clothes/styles that anyone can wear, and that didn't even originate among wlw as far as I know. I'm not wlw either but I don't see why not.
  2. I can't see a situation in which I'd ever have a wedding of my own. I also didn't spend time dreaming of my perfect "big day" as a little girl, and attending weddings can even be a bit uncomfortable for me. However, there are some parts of planning a wedding that seem fun (at least hypothetically - I don't think I'd enjoy the stress of ACTUALLY planning one). If you relate to this, then this thread is for you! If you were to have a wedding, what aspects would you like to be part of it? For me, I'd love to have the ceremony in a greenhouse or a lush courtyard. The reception would be awesome in a beautiful old building, like an old library or a castle. I would love to incorporate bouquets of native wildflowers. I'd want to aim for 50-75 guests, and no one gets a plus one - I don't want strangers in attendance at my imaginary wedding lol. For the dress, I'd want maybe a blush coloured flowy ballgown, or maybe something a bit more minimal, idk. Please, I'd love to hear about your hypothetical weddings <3
  3. Luckily, at my school it was not socially expected to go to prom with a date. I'd say around 40% of people were there with a date, 60% with friends. Unfortunately it was still a letdown for me because a couple of my close friends decided not to go at all, and a couple other close friends were really only interested in the event itself, rather than any sort of before or after party. I can't blame them because I was also not interested in the big parties (ex. there was one that literally everyone in the grade was invited to at someone's house in the countryside). However, it would have been fun to have a chill hang out with friends before or after, but none of my close friends were doing those things. In hindsight, maybe I should've tried harder to organize something fun with them - I honestly can't remember why I didn't. I ended going to a girl's house to get ready with herself and some others who I would consider my friends, but not super close friends. We took a limo to prom and back afterwards. Overall it was disappointing and made me feel a bit sad that something which could've been so fun was just blah for me. I am still super grateful that the "going with a date" expectation wasn't there at my school. Oh and the day after prom, most people went on a grad trip to a beachside party town...I am SO glad I didn't go. Not my scene at all. Also the days they were there, THREE people got stabbed at parties in that city (not anyone from my school fortunately). ^Oh and I forgot to say what my takeaway from that was...try not to put too much weight on events like prom. I know it's hard because society tells you it should be soooo important and that you have to have fun in a certain way. Take the event and participate in it in whatever way you think will be fun for you (maybe take more initiative than I did to make that happen, lol)
  4. I don't really have anything to say but just wanted to drop into this thread and say hi! I'm so used to feeling like I'm the only one who feels the way I do that I almost forget other aroaces do exist...and it's so fun to be among you all :) I love the memes in this thread too haha
  5. There's a Man Booker Prize winning writer from New Zealand named Keri Hulme. She is aromantic and asexual, according to Wikipedia. I don't actually know much about her and I haven't read any of her work, although I've been meaning to :) Another famous aroace author? Me (someday). Haha, probably not actually, but I can dream πŸ˜‰
  6. I totally get it, and can relate. I consider myself partway between romance neutral and romance repulsed - like I'm not flat out repulsed by romance and in some cases I even enjoy it/find it quite cute, but I get frustrated sometimes when a romantic plot is introduced into a show/movie/book. I think it's because the romance sometimes feels like it's getting in the way of others things I found more compelling (maybe a friendship with another character, maybe an exciting opportunity for the character). For other people, it's okay to have that tradeoff for romance and it makes sense because you change and make sacrifices when you're in love, and all that. But for me, it's a lot harder to relate, so I'm mostly just sad and frustrated that another good part of the story was diminished for the sake of a romantic plot point.
  7. I'm offended because you made me feel like I'm missing out, too.
  8. In a practical sense if I was trying to explain it to someone, I would just say "I don't experience romantic attraction" because I don't feel like getting too deep into things, and I hate getting mushy in front of other people. But here's how I'd write it in a more poetic sense: Romance and romantic attraction feel like things that are for other people, not for me. And that's not a bad thing for me. I've never felt romantically attracted to someone else, or wanted a relationship with someone, and those facts feel good and comfortable and true to me. To me, the fact that I feel this way is not a deviation from the norm; it is the norm.
  9. Ah I always had such little patience with love triangles in YA books πŸ˜… "Guy A is so nice to me, but guy B and I just have this electric chemistry" and I'd be like, choose Guy A! What other factor is there except how nice they are? And don't you have bigger things to worry about anyway? (And then the girl would spend the whole book waffling before choosing Guy B in the end) My first line of advice whenever anyone tells me they're having problems with their relationship is for them to break up. I still stand by it usually being useful advice πŸ˜‚ I just assumed I was attracted to guys because it was the norm (thanks alloheteronormative society πŸ™ƒ) until I was around 17-18 years old. At that point I was realizing maybe I wasn't straight, because I didn't have crushes on boys, but I didn't know what else I would be so I started mentally "trying on" every label. Was I a lesbian? No. Was I bisexual? No. Was I trans? No. (That wouldn't have even affected who I was attracted to, but I was really trying out everything because all I could figure out was that I was different than the norm).
  10. Hmm, it is interesting! Good to know I'm among some people who feel like I do, I suppose! For me, it just seems like the more visible/obvious aspect of my sexuality in my daily life. A lot more people are going to notice me being single all the time than me not having sex (yes ace people can have sex and aro people could be in a relationship, but I don't currently want either of those 😊). As well, on the asexual side of things I would say I'm halfway between sex indifferent and sex positive (I know sex positive isn't quite the right term here but I can't remember the proper one) and on the aromantic side of things I'm halfway between romance indifferent and romance repulsed. While that doesn't make me more aromantic than asexual, it does make romance feel a bit more out of the question for me.
  11. Thanks for the welcome! I love your profile pic btw ☺️
  12. When I was a kid and watched shows where the character was so nervous to ask their crush out, I always thought, "Why be so nervous? If that was me I would simply go up and ask, I wouldn't be scared like that." I'm not sure, but I'm wondering if it was a sign I was aro! (Because I didn't grasp the gravity of finding out whether someone else ~liked you~ in that way). It could've also just been me being a kid though. But definite signs of me being aro were making up crushes to feel more normal, and also feeling sad when my friends one by one starting to date for the first time. I could never figure out why I was sad at the time, but now I realize it was because it made me feel more weird because I was realizing people weren't like me. It also disorienting because even though I didn't know I was aro, I always subconsciously defaulted to thinking people had the same type of attraction as I did (AKA no romantic attraction), so it was weird to see them date someone for the first time.
  13. Hi all! I'm aromantic and asexual, have known for a few years now, and am out to a handful of close friends and family, but I tend not to talk about it much in real life. I joined aven a few months ago and have enjoyed being part of that community, so I wanted to give Arocalypse a go too! Even though I am both aromantic and asexual, aromanticism has always seemed like a bigger part of my identity than asexuality, and I find that it's harder to find people talking specifically about aromanticism.
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