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Ettina

heterophobia hurts bisexuals and cisphobia hurts nonbinary people

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I came across this interesting argument by a bisexual person: 

 

http://potatovirgin.tumblr.com/post/114181442499/cisphobia-is-real

 

They (I'm not sure what pronouns they use) argue that biphobia by LG people is mostly heterophobia directed at bisexuals because they resemble heterosexuals a bit too much. They also suggest that a similar mechanism is probably underlying binary trans hating nonbinary people. They argue that heterophobia and cisphobia aren't universal enough to seriously oppress their actual targets, but the people who are 'in-between' get a double wammy (eg bisexuals get both homophobia and heterophobia).

 

Personally, I'd argue that aros and aces also are in a similar position in many cases.  

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Um, I'd argue that the reason why LGs are biphobic is because of monosexism--the belief that liking only one gender is superior to liking multiple genders--the belief that you can "only choose one." It's the same reason why straight people are biphobic. 

 

I do agree that a similar mechanism is underlying binary trans people hating nonbinary people. The similar mechanism would be the gender binary, which asserts that an individual can only belong to one of two genders (male or female). 

 

As for aros and aces...I think people dislike us because as opposed to "just choosing one," we don't choose at all.

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4 hours ago, Ettina said:

They (I'm not sure what pronouns they use) argue that biphobia by LG people is mostly heterophobia directed at bisexuals because they resemble heterosexuals a bit too much. They also suggest that a similar mechanism is probably underlying binary trans hating nonbinary people. They argue that heterophobia and cisphobia aren't universal enough to seriously oppress their actual targets, but the people who are 'in-between' get a double wammy (eg bisexuals get both homophobia and heterophobia).

 

Personally, I'd argue that aros and aces also are in a similar position in many cases.  

Especially heterosexual aromantics. Who can find themselves unwelcome in LGBT+ spaces, while clearly not fitting in with str8 culture.
Current LGBT+ may also have become less friendly towards aros anyway. Due to a focus on "marriage equality".
 

32 minutes ago, omitef said:

Um, I'd argue that the reason why LGs are biphobic is because of monosexism--the belief that liking only one gender is superior to liking multiple genders--the belief that you can "only choose one." It's the same reason why straight people are biphobic.

I suspect there are other factors in the latter case including homophobia and "enemy amongst us" type conspiracy theories.
 

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An agender friend of mine once told me that erasure isn't passing privilege, and that stuck with me. Especially as that mythical heterosexual aro. 

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I think anyone who isn't gay or binary trans faces heterophobia and cis phobia, to some degree.

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6 hours ago, omitef said:

Um, I'd argue that the reason why LGs are biphobic is because of monosexism--the belief that liking only one gender is superior to liking multiple genders--the belief that you can "only choose one." It's the same reason why straight people are biphobic. 

It could be argued that monosexism also extends to aces (and aros). The belief that you can "only choose one" can mean that you *have* to choose one and only one.

 

6 hours ago, omitef said:

I do agree that a similar mechanism is underlying binary trans people hating nonbinary people. The similar mechanism would be the gender binary, which asserts that an individual can only belong to one of two genders (male or female). 

This really pisses me off. I've seen a whole bunch of people (both trans and cis) proclaim that in order to be trans, you must medically transtion. They then extend this to say that therefore you can only be male or female, implying that non-binary people don't transtion and are thus "faking" their gender. Not only is it false that you need to medically transition to be transgender, it's also false that no non-binary people transition. I'd like to see these people squirm as they try to rationalise my agender friend medically transitioning within their own narrow worldview.

 

I've been saying for a while now that hate only leads to more hate. Gay people hating on straight people has led to hate towards those that aren't gay or straight (within the LGBT+ community). People should just stop with the bullshit and stop hating on people because they are different. Ask yourself, "Is this person hurting anyone for being themselves?" If the answer is no, then there's nothing wrong. Of course, this method has its flaws and I'm well aware of what that are.

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6 hours ago, LunarSeas said:

An agender friend of mine once told me that erasure isn't passing privilege, and that stuck with me. Especially as that mythical heterosexual aro. 

As an agender person: THIS. ^^^ I've ranted about this on many occasion on basically every forum I'm on, so I'm not going to rehash that here, but again: THIS.

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11 hours ago, LunarSeas said:

An agender friend of mine once told me that erasure isn't passing privilege, and that stuck with me. Especially as that mythical heterosexual aro. 

I suspect that far from being "mythical" heterosexual aros comprise the majority of aros.

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5 hours ago, Mark said:

I suspect that far from being "mythical" heterosexual aros comprise the majority of aros.

That's probably true. The only study I've found that estimated the prevalence of aromantics found 1% of the population was aro, with .7% being aro/het and .3% aroace. (They didn't find any bi or homo aros, so they're probably rarer than either of those two groups.)

I had another thread on that study here. It also found that the most common type of varoriented people (people whose romantic and sexual orientation don't match) are heteroromantic bisexuals.

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7 minutes ago, Ettina said:

That's probably true. The only study I've found that estimated the prevalence of aromantics found 1% of the population was aro, with .7% being aro/het and .3% aroace. (They didn't find any bi or homo aros, so they're probably rarer than either of those two groups.)

With alloromantics sexual orientation distribution is hetero, bi, homo and a. There's no good reason to think that this would be different amongst aromantic people.
It's rather ironic that bisexuals are a majority of LGBT, but often treated as a minority.

 

7 minutes ago, Ettina said:

I had another thread on that study here. It also found that the most common type of varoriented people (people whose romantic and sexual orientation don't match) are heteroromantic bisexuals.

Sometimes referred to as "heteroflexible".

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Interesting. I thought the majority of aros were ace.

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4 hours ago, CakeSpadeAroAce said:

Interesting. I thought the majority of aros were ace.

Well, it's hard to actually know, since the only reason I even know about split orientation at all is that I have some ace friends in my temple. It seems that aces are simply better informed on aromanticism than allosexuals. 

 

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8 hours ago, LunarSeas said:

Well, it's hard to actually know, since the only reason I even know about split orientation at all is that I have some ace friends in my temple. It seems that aces are simply better informed on aromanticism than allosexuals. 

If can be hard to find much information on aromanticism which is not associated with information about asexuality. Most notably through AVEN.
Aro allos can also find it hard to relate fully to the experiences of aro aces.

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10 hours ago, Mark said:

Aro allos can also find it hard to relate fully to the experiences of aro aces.

I know that I do, some things I totally understand and can relate to and others seem kind of strange to me.

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