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LunarSeas

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Everything posted by LunarSeas

  1. Funny how a fulfilling weekend mostly involves some form of witchcraft for me. 

  2. Lol it is mine, CURSES, I'VE BEEN FOUND.
  3. I've had a distaste for everything being Valentine's day for a long time, especially the endless diamond and weight loss commercials. Put the Lupercalia back in February! xP
  4. I have this exact problem with telling people about my polytheism. I want them to have the relevant info about me, but I've run into so much "witnessing" from evangelist Christians, it's burnt me down on answering "honest questions" from "just curious" people. Especially the Christ dudes who sea lion an argument into the core of the earth. AAAANNND this is why I'm in the closet about being aro. Shit's exhausting.
  5. OMGGGGG, the "must monopolize female!" thing is so real and such bullshit. I had a guy pull that on me hard in college, always telling me he didn't want a relationship, which I was more than fine with, but the SECOND I bone someone besides him at a party he's fucking drunk abusive oxnard. Why het allo dudes? Whyyyyyyy??
  6. I never imagined my wedding unless pressed by other girls. Then I would just dream up the coolest party I could think of, and I thought white dresses were dumb and boring. Then, as a teen, in a very conservative Christian school, I admitted that I didn't want to marry, ever. No shit, the girl in front of me gasped "but where will you LIVE????" Yeah. I also had no problems with no attachment sex all through college and young adulthood, so that should have been a clue, hah. But not having a term for what I was for most of my life, it definitely took a while to accept how i am, and some trauma.
  7. This is so me, in my self imposed celibacy. I gotta get my head unfucked before I can even find a way to tell others what I actually want. If only my libido would actually go awayyyyyy.
  8. I confess to considering inventing the term "theoromantic" because quite honestly, I love my gods in rather romantic terms, but not people. I know it's bizarre, but I'm too tired to care.
  9. It's something I've found lots of people don't know, I guess from the combo of cable and aggressive ad campaigns for it and satellite. But if you live in a city, or close enough to one, you should be able to turn a receiver on in nearly any tv (unless you're still rocking the CR set) and get local stations. It won't be much anything outside of network shows and local news, but....that early morning local access stuff, that's shit I check out when I can't sleep and I'm in a new place. It's always really quality weird shit. Like the guy dressed like a car salesman, just sitting at a desk covered in gilded eagles and us flags, reading the bible like a contract and then talking about what he had read....at least I think that was his intention, he made NO SENSE, but it was surreal. Local access tv. It's a thing. A weird strange kind of sad thing.
  10. Free tv still exists in the US, even most t.v.s have a digital receiver to catch it - it's just the major networks, and if you're close enough to catch whatever local affiliate broadcasts it. But so many people have gone over to cable and satellite,I guess the kids have forgotten when there were only like, 3 channels. xP
  11. I've been listening to the Talking Heads album "Speaking in Tongues", and I'm more than a little suspicious that David Byrne might be some shade of aro. If only because he says, in each chorus of "Girlfriend is Better", "nothing it's better than this....is it?" And he said in an interview with himself that he wrote one love song, and sang it to a lamp.
  12. Since I'm allosexual, ngl, I've considered this as a possibility/fair trade, especially if the rich husband travels a lot. ....plan b, lol. (I'm awful)
  13. Even though I find I fit the aro spec more each day, I hesitate to call myself aromantic because I'm such a complete NERD for the romantic era poets and it's not exactly the same thing BUT WHY IS LANGUAGE HARD.
  14. I took a guy home from a bar one night explicitly for sex. No other reason. He even started annoying me with his talk during sex, and I slapped my hand over his mouth and literally said "just shut the fuck up." And he was twice my age. Not the only time I've had casual sex, but that was probably the most aro shit I've ever done.
  15. Now I totally want a vulture culture deerkvlt shirt, omg.
  16. I do sometimes fantasize about banging strangers. My libido is on crack. I don't do most of what goes through my head, but my past sexual adventures honestly make so much more sense in the light of being arospec. Every interaction with every person is unique, so I'm not really sure I can pin down sexual attraction. It's a constellation of things. Sometimes it's cerebral, other times it's pure lust. I once wanted to make out with a biologist on tv because he started geeking out over tardigardes, and it was cute as fuck. I guess part of me seeing myself as arospec was learning about demisexuals and thinking that i must be whatever the opposite is.
  17. Heterosexual cis woman with longer ring fingers than index. Either I'm am outlier, or it's nonsense.
  18. Funny enough, in Crowley's Thoth tarot, the prince of disks (Jack of diamonds) is my birth card. No deer on it, but a bull, lol. I like symbols as a polytheist witch. I'm rather fond of the arrow, and do have somewhat of an interest in something for allosexual aros, being one. And it's somewhat awkward that my fave colour is purple, haha.
  19. I tend not to id with demi because I go from zero to FIFTY BILLION when it happens. Then it fades. It's so frustrating. And there doesn't seem to be a need for time invested for feelings to form. My stumbling block is when someone falls out of my normal pattern (frayromantic is very descriptive of me). Like this jerk. xP I "met" him on OpenDiary (showing my age again, anyone even remember that??) and we were online and phone friends for over a decade, during which I'd have like....attacks of intense romantic and/or passionate feelings for him. If we had ever been in the same area of the country, maybe I'd know if those feelings would fade like they have for every other guy I lost my head over....but I'll likely never know.
  20. More angst ahead. I don't know where to put this. It's almost another thread, but....eh. I start to question whether I'm greyro when I look back at one particular relationship. Just, especially this one. It's confusing. Because I never met him in person, ever, but for years we were very emotionally intimate, and flirted with each other. It was often very intense with him. And I loved him. We had a falling out a few years ago, but that song came on tonight, and I thought of him, and it came flooding back. Now, it's entirely possible that the same pattern would have happened if we met or started a relationship, I'd just feel wrong and panicky. But since we didn't, I don't know. I suppose there's no solution to this, but here's an example of why sometimes I don't feel aro or greyro, because I'll be a silly git, look him up on fb and feel my heart skip a beat at his stupid handsome face. xP
  21. I can almost see myself sharing rent on a house with a platonic friend before a sexual partner, honestly. Not that the two couldn't be the same person, but experience tells me that's unlikely. In sharing living space, I just know that i absolutely need a room or two that are mine and only mine. I don't mind being with people, but not indefinitely. I must recharge in solitude. Romance kind of says that's not desirable. xP The sexual relationships I honestly remember fondly have been friends I just happened to have sex with. But it was also treated as something that we'd "grow out of" past college, and we'd go off and find regular romantic partners. I felt bad about not really wanting to. That just hanging out with a friend, watching movies or cooking or doing whatever, and if we felt like it, anything on the spectrum from cuddling to sex was fine FOR NOW, but when we became adults, we'd be immature doing the same thing. Fucking why??
  22. Frayromantic is sort of greyro, but more like, you get that initial crush feel (I thought of it as the "new relationship energy" I was told about) but it fades after being in the relationship. It's not quite lithro, because I don't mind it being reciprocated, at least not at first.....idk. It takes me very little time to lose that glow, no matter how I started feeling. It's a lot to sort out, but I'm still certain that the whole soul mate life long love whatever ain't me.
  23. Yeah, room sharing is ridiculous. Even if I was to ever share a house with a friend or two, I'd need, well, a house, and my own rooms. I'm like a cat, I swear. Sometimes OMG I NEED SNUGGLES RIGHT NOW and most times I want to be left to my own devices with the option to engage if I wanted. Probably why i liked living in a tiny apartment in New Orleans. It was MINE, I had a lock if I wanted the world shut out, but there was usually someone hanging around on the stoop or a neighbor's back yard if I did want to socialize. And if not that, or it was night, there was a bar in walking distance. I've never had issues with casual sex, I actually used to feel guilty that it didn't bother me, which is so so dumb. Fucking amanormativity.
  24. Yeah, I didn't even know romantic orientations were considered a thing until I made some asexual/graysexual friends through my online spiritual communities. Being heterosexual also gives me a huge feeling of "outsider" to the lgbtq community, not just because there are actual people within that community that deny I exist, but, well, I've considered myself "straight" my whole life. So my context for this is really different from others I've read. I've always had lgbtq friends, so I being part of the community would seem natural for me, but the aro hate I've seen.....it makes me nervous to go on and ID as any kind of queer - though in the plainest sense of the word, I am. If I want to have any sexual or sensual contact in the future, and I do, I'll have to talk to whoever I want that with. This will need to come up. And while I know there are some guys who are truly ok with "casual sex" (not just say they are), I also want to be treated with respect, not like a slut. And that's exceedingly rare.
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