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The Treatise of Aromanticism and Amatonormativity


HelloThere

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Hey guys! I have literally zero explanation for why this is, but I felt a strong urge to create a formal discussion/analysis of Amatonormativity and its relation to Aromanticism. This is very spontaneous, so please forgive me for being vague in my request, but I’m asking for everyone to share their understanding of Amatonormativity in your lives, thoughts, and experiences. 
 

It doesn’t necessarily have to be personal, but I sort of want to compile the analyses of everyone here, and any sources, book suggestions, articles, etc. would be extremely helpful too. Essentially, for the sake of exemplifying this analysis style, I hope to get as much input in as much long-winded nuance as possible. I wrote the preliminary below to give a better picture, put as much info as you can, and please share.

“Preliminary: It has appeared to be both necessary and practical to explain the concept and underlying importance of the realm of Amatonormativity, a term that few know, and fewer understand. To aromantic individuals, it’s a term you’re either ingrained into from online culture, or completely and totally unaware of. In this context, it becomes only more important to share understanding of this concept, either for the sake of deeper analyzing oneself, or to view intersectionality, society, or aromanticism through a different lens.

 

This, of course, is as much of a systematic problem (which I hope to display as concisely as possible) as it is a personally held one. Amatonormativity, put simply, is the set of social expectations, requirements, and values that enforce both internal and external pressures to be in a romantic or sexual relationship, often a heterosexual and monogamous one. Those outside that set of expectations become social oddities, and concerningly enough, regardless of what one’s sexual or romantic orientations are. 

 

Now, a treatise such as this is not built upon critique and senseless criticism, but by a heavier understanding of the romantic and sexual aspects of one’s life, and of societal norms in general. This is neither a philosophical nor necessarily scientific question, rather closer to a sociological one. 

 

The main goal of this is to inform of the current state of Amatonormativity, its effects on humanity itself, and its relation most specifically to Aromanticism. Overall, information presented in the treatise is not purely of this authors experiences, nor personal analysis, but a compilation of as many aromantic voices as my limited reach can provide. Amatonormativity itself has been an underlying social phenomenon, along with a depressive contaminant for many, most especially those outside of the previously stated parameters. It’s definition isn’t solidly placed, so for the sake of this treatise, we will be defining it as referenced before. 

 

Though, without further ado, this series of analyses is open to interpretation, though our intended points will be clear enough to grasp. “

// @Keith @The Newest Fabled Creature @Jot-Aro Kujo @roboticanary @Maryland @kira- 

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5 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Where will this be presented?

I’m largely compiling this in notes, but I’ll probably throw it in a doc if I actually manage to commit to this thing for real. It’s very spontaneous, but I want to manage to compile all this data in.

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19 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Where will this be presented?

You got any input though? I want all experiences, ideas, and analyses possible, from the subject of aro-allo perspectives, affects on neurodiversity, to mass media, EVERYTHING possible.

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I wrote some stuff about this topic in docs, and will copy/paste it here.

Sorry if it's poorly written, or if some things are worded weirdly, I just woke up and have college almost completely on my mind lol.

Anyways, here it is:

"Amatonormativity is very present in society, and has been for many years. It wrongly assumes that everyone will have the same experience in their lives in regards to romantic relationships and attraction, and this assumption is unfortunately further pushed by a lot of popular media. There are so many movies, books, shows and other forms of story-making that tend to push the idea that you will never be truly happy until you find a partner.

This is often shown by having protagonists who are lost or sad, and at the end of the story they’re completely happy once they get a partner, even if the main plot of the story wasn’t about that specifically. People consuming so many stories like this start to believe that you won’t have a “happily ever after” if you don’t get a partner. This expectation spreads among other people, who also consume this media all the time, and thus begins the assumption and expectation that “everyone will want a relationship or they won’t be happy.”

This expectation puts a lot of pressure onto aromantic people, and can even make them believe it too. It can make aro people feel like there’s something “wrong” with them, or make them worry that they’ll forever feel incomplete and lonely until they get into a “standard” relationship (monogamous, no QPRs, ideally straight according to mass media).

I also feel that this especially puts pressure on women, who are often expected to get married and have children at some point. As a woman, I have been asked questions like “have you met any boys yet?” and I’ve been told things like “one day, when you get a boyfriend, you’ll blah blah blah”.

Going back to the point about media, it’s especially frustrating for me to see so many female characters have this story arc where they think they don’t need a boyfriend, but after meeting the protagonist they realise that they actually did need one and were just being “edgy”.

In conclusion, I think that the previously established amatonormative expectations are only being further fueled by mass media like movies and shows. I think that we should try to make more stories that include characters who are happy without a partner and aren’t considered weird by everyone else. This would educate people that you don’t need to be in a relationship in order to have a happy ending, if you don’t want to."

I hope this is helpful for you :)

 

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19 minutes ago, MondoBilby said:

I wrote some stuff about this topic in docs, and will copy/paste it here.

Sorry if it's poorly written, or if some things are worded weirdly, I just woke up and have college almost completely on my mind lol.

Anyways, here it is:

"Amatonormativity is very present in society, and has been for many years. It wrongly assumes that everyone will have the same experience in their lives in regards to romantic relationships and attraction, and this assumption is unfortunately further pushed by a lot of popular media. There are so many movies, books, shows and other forms of story-making that tend to push the idea that you will never be truly happy until you find a partner.

This is often shown by having protagonists who are lost or sad, and at the end of the story they’re completely happy once they get a partner, even if the main plot of the story wasn’t about that specifically. People consuming so many stories like this start to believe that you won’t have a “happily ever after” if you don’t get a partner. This expectation spreads among other people, who also consume this media all the time, and thus begins the assumption and expectation that “everyone will want a relationship or they won’t be happy.”

This expectation puts a lot of pressure onto aromantic people, and can even make them believe it too. It can make aro people feel like there’s something “wrong” with them, or make them worry that they’ll forever feel incomplete and lonely until they get into a “standard” relationship (monogamous, no QPRs, ideally straight according to mass media).

I also feel that this especially puts pressure on women, who are often expected to get married and have children at some point. As a woman, I have been asked questions like “have you met any boys yet?” and I’ve been told things like “one day, when you get a boyfriend, you’ll blah blah blah”.

Going back to the point about media, it’s especially frustrating for me to see so many female characters have this story arc where they think they don’t need a boyfriend, but after meeting the protagonist they realise that they actually did need one and were just being “edgy”.

In conclusion, I think that the previously established amatonormative expectations are only being further fueled by mass media like movies and shows. I think that we should try to make more stories that include characters who are happy without a partner and aren’t considered weird by everyone else. This would educate people that you don’t need to be in a relationship in order to have a happy ending, if you don’t want to."

I hope this is helpful for you :)

 

Useful, though format it as a statement of information rather than an essay, I compile stuff to turn it into an essay, so things don’t really need to be formal as much as specific and relevant.

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1 hour ago, HelloThere said:

Useful, though format it as a statement of information rather than an essay, I compile stuff to turn it into an essay, so things don’t really need to be formal as much as specific and relevant.

Ah ok, so should I just cut out the last paragraph, or should I reformat the whole thing? If it’s the latter, do you have any suggestions for how I should word it? Because I’m not entirely sure how I can change it right now.

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14 hours ago, MondoBilby said:

Ah ok, so should I just cut out the last paragraph, or should I reformat the whole thing? If it’s the latter, do you have any suggestions for how I should word it? Because I’m not entirely sure how I can change it right now.

You don’t have to reformat, just say it like you’re talking to me normally and I’ll make it formal in the future. I need as much information, recommended resources, and variables as you can manage.

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