Happy after the breakup

[Oko]

I need to tell it, because I need to know if it's normal or not, if exists someone like me. People don't believe me and they think I'm traumatized and I say it like my "defence", but it's not true.

I was in relationship, really bad and toxic. Much times I felt I would be happy and feel better without the man, but I didn't find courage or determination to breakup. Much times we argued (and we said words like "f*ck you", "I don't need you"... etc) and I wanted to breakup but "We had plan, we want to go there and there, it will be waste, I stick with him just more time..."

Then he really disappointed me and I ended it. It was happiness and relief. I wasn't angry he did it, I was glad he did it and I had a reason to breakup. Many people feel sad because of breakup (toxic relationships too), but I didn't. I started to feel happy. During the relationship I felt like "My life is bad. Everything is bad. Why I'm still here? I'm not living, I'm just existing..." but after the breakup this feelings gone. Suddenly I love my life. Is it normal to be happy because of the breakup? Rejoice and don't cry?😊😀

It's not just "I don't have the toxic person in my life anymore", but it's like "I'm not in relationship, I'm free, life is awesome!" I found out I love single life. I live alone in the flat with my cat, going to work and everything is just on me. For some people this is sad, but for me this is awesome. Just me and nobody more. My life is just mine. I want to change nothing. This is what I have wanted all my life. I don't know why I tried relationships in the past. Maybe to find out how is single life amazing.😹

Imagine be in relationship again I feel really sick. I often say "I have the amazing life and I don't want to destroy it by some relationship." My life is perfect the way it is.

I just wanted to tell this. I'm bored of people who don't believe me. A lot of people wish me to find somebody and for me it's worse than wishing me dead. I don't overstate. Is there anybody who feels the same?

I hope I explained it well in english. Thanks for reading. 🙂

[alto]

I understand.  I was extremely happy when I broke up with my second ex.  My gender therapist was puzzled, so I made some bullshit excuses as to how horrible she was.  But in reality, I was just glad to be free.

[Helion]

I get you! I also kind of dread having a relationship, having to give one particular person special attention all the time and being "bound" to them in a way. It just sounds tiring and restricting tbh. 

Also the people who don't believe you about being aromantic are so full of shit. Even if you were aromantic due to trauma that would make you no less aromantic. Most people are aromantic or gay or whatever because they just happened to be, some because of trauma or completely different reasons. That's normal.

If your aromanticism was related to your trauma doesn't mean it's something to overcome, it just became a part of you due to a highly emotional occurence in your life. 

[MondoBilby]

Hells to the yeah, man! Single life rules! I can just focus on myself and achieve my own goals, it’s overall a very chill time! 
I hate that stigma people have that you’ll “never be fully happy unless you’re in a relationship”. I mean, I think my existence debunks that enough lol!

[Oko]

9 hours ago, alto said:

I understand.  I was extremely happy when I broke up with my second ex.  My gender therapist was puzzled, so I made some bullshit excuses as to how horrible she was.  But in reality, I was just glad to be free.

Yes, I'm not the only one.😊 I never visited the gender therapist, but why she was puzzled? She didn't understand you are happy to be free?

6 hours ago, Helion said:

I get you! I also kind of dread having a relationship, having to give one particular person special attention all the time and being "bound" to them in a way. It just sounds tiring and restricting tbh. 

Also the people who don't believe you about being aromantic are so full of shit. Even if you were aromantic due to trauma that would make you no less aromantic. Most people are aromantic or gay or whatever because they just happened to be, some because of trauma or completely different reasons. That's normal.

If your aromanticism was related to your trauma doesn't mean it's something to overcome, it just became a part of you due to a highly emotional occurence in your life. 

You speak from my heart. For me it would be "destroyed life" if I got relationship. I have a bad experince from the past but I don't call it "trauma". That's a very strong word, how you say "something to overcome", something what hinders to you, something what you struggle with. I don't want be in relationship just because I don't want, because it's pointless to me. I'm not afraid of someone can hurt me.I'm just happy the way I am. I just tried to be in relationship and found out I don't need it. It's just useless concern.

4 hours ago, MondoBilby said:

Hells to the yeah, man! Single life rules! I can just focus on myself and achieve my own goals, it’s overall a very chill time! 
I hate that stigma people have that you’ll “never be fully happy unless you’re in a relationship”. I mean, I think my existence debunks that enough lol!

Yes, you're right! How can people think you'll be happy just with something you don't want?🤦‍♀️😀

[Via]

I relate to this all too well lmao, glad you got out of there :)