Some aro/aces think they are bi, right?

[Helion]

Due to being equally uninterested in both genders sometimes people on the aspectrum think they might be bi, I personally heard that one a lot. 

For me it was a little different, as I questioned what kind of romantic attraction I had I considered being poly because "Well, why do you specifically have one partner, anyways? I think I wouldn't care much, so I might be poly...?".

Did anyone else have any similar experience related to this? Feel free to share, I'm feeling curious

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

…You do mean aspecs who aren’t also bi, right?

[aRowanAce]

I thought I was bi for a while but not really now.

[MondoBilby]

I used to keep switching between identities because I was always so confused on the genders I liked. Due to being aro (and a not that emotive person in general), my feelings towards others are quite mellow and not noticeable, so it was difficult for me to pinpoint what kind of attraction I felt towards others. I thought I was lesbian for a while, pan for an even shorter while, but I can now safely say I'm bi with a strong leaning towards women (purely sexual attraction, boobies lol).

[dewy]

I'm aro and bi, so no, I'm very much interested in all genders. But I have heard of this being a thing for some aroace people.

[Froggodraws]

Yes!!! I have a similar experience to this!!! I have been in 2 relationships, and on both occasions I wondered why I should just have one partner…. or why my partner should only be with me. When I was told my ex girlfriend was flirting with other people I… kind of didn’t care? I mean… I cared because it made the other person uncomfortable, but I didn’t care that she was trying to be with other people.
 

I never expressed my confusion to my past partners because I thought it would scare them if I told them I didn’t care about monogamy. I really thought I was just into open relationships… but turns out I’m not into romantic relationships at all 😅. 

[retrobeetism]

The bi-a thing also happens the other way around.

I think both that and the polyam and aro thing have to do with the bi and polyam community sharing experiences/being affected by the same systems that affect aromantic and aspec people in general.

Both mspec and aspec people are affected by the idea that we all need to be (sexually and romantically mostly, as society does not recognise tertiary attraction, except maybe platonic) attracted to one gender and only one gender. Mspec people because they are attracted to more then one genders, aspec people because we are attracted to less than one/we lack attraction.

In the case of polyamory and aromanticism, both communities are affected by amatonormativity. So it kind of make sense for someone that already challenge it through a lack of romantic attraction, could also challenge it by rejecting monogamy, which is nothing less than the socioeconomic and legal aspect of amatonormativity.

[Holmbo]

I remember thinking I would be ok with a partner dating others before I realized I was aro. I've never related to sexual jealousy (or jealousy in general really).

[Helion]

On 12/22/2023 at 1:45 AM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

…You do mean aspecs who aren’t also bi, right?

I might have not made it clear enough, but the question was basically just "What did you mistake your identity for?", which yeah, if you actually are aspec and bi (Hey, that might be me, but still questioning the bi part-) wouldn't really be the case because no mistake happened there!

On 12/27/2023 at 7:15 PM, Holmbo said:

I remember thinking I would be ok with a partner dating others before I realized I was aro. I've never related to sexual jealousy (or jealousy in general really).

Absolutely same. I thought I was completely okay with open relationships and thus questioned if I might be poly because of it, I wasn't opposed to the idea, but it confused me that I wasn't really invested in it. In retrospect it was just a lack of caring tbh. I'm mostly a romance-neutral (repulsed if pushed too much) aro, so I just don't care, plainly said.