The Aro Mando Echo Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 I have a suspicion (No real evidence to back it up, just a feeling right now) that there's a guy interested in me. I have only really been treating him like I treat any other friend, and he seems very.. focused on me. Like what I'm doing, all the time, makes eye contact with me from across the room frequently, tells me tips for things, and follows me everywhere. He asked me lots of questions, like where I lived. (In a friendly, non-creepy way, I would like to clarify.) This all sounds normal, but the thing is that I met this guy two days ago. And out of a room with several other, new, people, he seeks me out repeatedly. If this guy does happen to be interested in me (because maybe I'm looking a bit into it and he's just eager to make a friend 🤞) how do I kindly, but firmly friendzone him? I obviously have no interest in him but I don't want to make it sound personal, when in reality I just don't have those feelings for anyone. 😅 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collie Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 That's always tough. If I've suspected that someone likes me romantically, I typically wait until they tell me. Which has happened a couple times, only once irl. That time, I didn't tell the person I was aro directly, just said I'm not interested in anyone. It was very awkward for weeks afterwards, I don't think there's any easy way to approach these things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted August 30, 2023 Share Posted August 30, 2023 Maybe...have a talk with him and discuss what kind of relationship you both want? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazydreamer Posted August 31, 2023 Share Posted August 31, 2023 If your not sure about it, or don't want to confront or have a serious talk, you can subtly bring in up in a conversation that you aren't interested in a romantic relationship and it's not something you would look for. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firebird Posted September 11, 2023 Share Posted September 11, 2023 (edited) The problem is, in my experience, you can't just friendzone someone. Alloromantics seem to be deaf to the word "no", and being a friend still leaves them in the "If I just try hard enough, they'll realize we were meant to be together all along, they're just delusional, etc" mindset. Best you can do is just completely disengage, hell, even rudeness will spare both of you emotional trouble in the long run. There is nothing wrong with being rude in situations like this. To be completely honest, the behavior of this dude you described is pretty creepy, so the moment someone tries to invade your personal space, it's more than ok to tell them to fuck off. Edited September 11, 2023 by Firebird 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
castletalk Posted September 12, 2023 Share Posted September 12, 2023 This always sucks! But in my experience it's better to notice in advance, rather than being completely caught off guard later. if you can, it's probably best to find a way to tell him you're not interested in a relationship (or just come out, if you're comfortable with that). if he just wants to be friends, it won't matter, and if he's into you, it's probably better to nip that in the bud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted September 16, 2023 Share Posted September 16, 2023 On 9/11/2023 at 9:16 PM, Firebird said: The problem is, in my experience, you can't just friendzone someone. Alloromantics seem to be deaf to the word "no", and being a friend still leaves them in the "If I just try hard enough, they'll realize we were meant to be together all along, they're just delusional, etc" mindset. Best you can do is just completely disengage, hell, even rudeness will spare both of you emotional trouble in the long run. There is nothing wrong with being rude in situations like this. To be completely honest, the behavior of this dude you described is pretty creepy, so the moment someone tries to invade your personal space, it's more than ok to tell them to fuck off. I agree. If the guy has already romozoned you he likely has no actual interest in being friends. Any interaction is just gonna be a seen as a stepping stone to a romantic relationship. I would say bring up as soon as possible that you're not interested in dating. You don't even need a segway. Just say "I get this feeling maybe you're interested in me and if that's the case I want you to know I don't date." If he says then he wasn't interested romantically then don't make a big deal out if it. Just say something like how you assumed because he was so friendly and ask if is he that focused on anyone he makes friends with. Also if he should claim he does want to be friends ask yourself do you want to be his friend? You don't have to. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted September 16, 2023 Share Posted September 16, 2023 "Friendzone" is one of those terms that should not even exist. It is deliberately designed to be confusing - not in a funny but in a spiteful manner (similar to "nice guy"). Because we do not know if we mean: friendship mixed with unrequited romantic feelings OR a manipulative tactic (where it's not even clear who manipulates whom!) So I don't know what you want to achieve. But if you want clarity, you have to communicate that you aren't interested in dating and rather don't wait for it. And if you don't believe his denials, then cut off the contact. Or do it right away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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