Jaiden coming out video

[roboticanary]

This was shared on the discord earlier. 

There were some good points made about how the video argues empathy is what makes us human which is not great, problem for e.g. loveless aros, those with low or no empathy.

As well as using intimate attraction rather than sexual attraction sometimes in a way which was again, not great (possibly dealing with youtube being youtube here).

What do people think about it?

I did like the fact it pointed out that aro and ace can be separate and people can be aro but not ace or ace but not aro.

There are also a lot of really well told bits of personal experience in the video which I could relate to, especially the choosing a crush bits.

I'm really not keen on what makes us human ideas in general. They always seem to end up with some emotional criteria which if you lack (or are percieved to lack) then you end up being seen as less  human, which is shit.

Also, fuck me thats a lot of views, looks like many people will be finding out about aromanticism.

 

[lovelyleaf]

What makes us human is our physical body and dna lol.. I also hate when people say this or that emotional quality is wHaT mAkEs Us HuMaN but I didn't really see that part in the video as anything that notable. She probably just wanted to make the point about how aro people are human and had to think of something that she thinks makes us human and empathy is the first thing she thought of. 

The "intimate" thing kinda bothered me too but I understood what she meant since "intimacy" can mean sexual activity and does mean that to a lot of people, and also youtube prolly would've messed with the video if she said "sexual", especially since her audience is very largely minors and kids under like 16

I'm glad that she came out even though she was in no way obligated to, and I think that it will help a lot of people. She has a big platform and she just sat down and explained some identities that are very misunderstood in greater society. 

Edited March 21, 2022 by lovelyleaf

[Nix]

This is a great video! I am so sharing this with my friends.

I get what you are saying about the ‘what makes us human’ part, but I agree with @lovelyleaf that this was probably the first thing she thought of. DNA would have been a better example though. And the intimacy bit looks indeed like a bit of self censoring, for youtube but also because she clearly feels uncomfortable talking about it.

Funny thing happened, when she switched from talking about being aromantic to being asexual, youtube showed me an ad for the series ‘Euphoria’ and I nearly choked on my drink laughing.

[dewy]

As was discussed in in the discord, there were a few things in the video I did not think were done very well, but overall I think this video was pretty good, and I am glad to see someone bringing more awareness to aromanticism and asexuality. It did make me happy seeing a well known person be open about being aroace because I feel like there are very few aspec celebrities/public figures, at least that I know of. I definitely found some parts of her experience relatable such as "choosing" a crush and it made me feel happy and validated seeing someone else share my experiences being aro.

3 hours ago, lovelyleaf said:

What makes us human is our physical body and dna lol.

Exactly what I was thinking! I think that part of the video was my least favorite part, since I myself have low empathy and found it a bit hurtful, and I just don't like the whole "[x] makes you human" thing in general.

[lovelyleaf]

personally empathy is a really confusing and tough thing for me... I consider myself extremely apathetic. I care about people I just don't understand them.. In general I think it's kind of annoying and stupid how much importance society puts on being empathetic while also being really shitty and not empathetic at alllll

[roboticanary]

22 hours ago, lovelyleaf said:

I'm glad that she came out even though she was in no way obligated to, and I think that it will help a lot of people.

Yeah, this is a good point, she put in the effort to make a whole animated video when she could have just kept it quiet and done something safer in terms of her channel's topics. Well done to her for talking about it.

[Neon]

At this point, I'm just kind of iffy on my thoughts. As well-intentioned as it was, the video still had some aphobic and ableist statements. And while that's not inherently her fault, part of me feels like she easily could have used a pseudonym and just asked people in the community if she was overlooking important things. Besides, even if it was a genuine mistake and there was no way around it, that statement was still harmful. The fact that it was a mistake wouldn't minimize the harm done. In my mind, it's a bit of a double-edged sword: we have more visibility, but there's also a massive amount of people who will come out of that video with harmful views. I hope she is able to have a conversation with people that she hurt and grow from it.

[Pyr]

I thought the video was great! While I do not believe empathy is what "makes us human", I believe empathy is very important. What makes us human is our genetic code! X) Anyways, I hope the video raises awarenesa for aros and aces. I think she does a good job clearing up aphobic myths, such as aros being robotic and always being aces. I think it's good that her younger audience gets to learn about aromanticism.

[YqB]

On 3/21/2022 at 6:24 PM, roboticanary said:

Also, fuck me thats a lot of views, looks like many people will be finding out about aromanticism.

Me here after finding out I was aro some time after watching the video when it came out.

Edited June 20, 2022 by YqB
Added watching the video when

[ClearSkiesAhear]

While, yes, there are things the video could have done better, that is almost always the case.  I thought this video did a quite good job of bringing awareness to Aromanticism and Asexuality.  It explained it in a way that was easy to understand, funny, and informative!  It was also very relatable for me, so I liked that aspect of it. I actually used this video to sort of explain being Aromantic to a parent, and it went really well.

[Scylactic]

On 3/22/2022 at 12:11 AM, lovelyleaf said:

I care about people I just don't understand them..

That's called altruism :)

[Deltalorian]

I personally think that the video works really well as a crash course introduction to asexuality and aromanticism. I personally really liked it, and while I can see the point of it excluding loveless aros, I don't think it was her intention to do that.

[Ilikecats]

yup.

 

[The Gray Warlock]

On 3/21/2022 at 2:09 PM, lovelyleaf said:

What makes us human is our physical body and dna lol..

AND our ability to empathize, form bonds, learn and reason, solve problems, speak languages, build cultures...Homo Sapiens is a complex multi-dimensional entity

On 3/22/2022 at 2:11 AM, lovelyleaf said:

personally empathy is a really confusing and tough thing for me... I consider myself extremely apathetic. I care about people I just don't understand them.. In general I think it's kind of annoying and stupid how much importance society puts on being empathetic while also being really shitty and not empathetic at alllll

I share your annoyance with "applies to thee not to mee" (deliberate spelling) attitudes in the moral stances people profess. If you want me to believe you have conviction, let alone hope to convert me to your camp, I better see you applying your ideas across the board, especially to yourself. Those that do are the ones who have my respect. That's why I call Mr. Rogers the one man who could have convinced me to become Christian. Because he lived his creed.

[Storm_leopardcat]

On 3/24/2022 at 9:35 AM, Neon said:

At this point, I'm just kind of iffy on my thoughts. As well-intentioned as it was, the video still had some aphobic and ableist statements. And while that's not inherently her fault, part of me feels like she easily could have used a pseudonym and just asked people in the community if she was overlooking important things. Besides, even if it was a genuine mistake and there was no way around it, that statement was still harmful. The fact that it was a mistake wouldn't minimize the harm done. In my mind, it's a bit of a double-edged sword: we have more visibility, but there's also a massive amount of people who will come out of that video with harmful views. I hope she is able to have a conversation with people that she hurt and grow from it.

Aphobic and ableist statements like what?

[Neon]

@Storm_leopardcat the first post here explains it, as well as various other posts here. I don’t remember the exact quote or timestamp anymore

[Storm_leopardcat]

19 minutes ago, Neon said:

@Storm_leopardcat the first post here explains it, as well as various other posts here. I don’t remember the exact quote or timestamp anymore

I didn’t see any abliest statements though. Or any explanation for it. 

[Maryland]

My sister watches her. And I told her jaiden uploaded this. She was curious what it was and watched it. This was before I realized I was aroace

Edited December 1, 2022 by ArrowAce

[Neon]

@Storm_leopardcatSpecifically, Jaiden said something to the effect of “I still feel platonic love and have empathy, I'm not a monster” (this is NOT an exact quote). The reason that is aphobic is that there are many people who do not feel platonic love, feel disconnected from the concept of love, etc.. (Loveless aros and aplatonic people are the main groups that come to mind). The ableism comes from the part about empathy, as some people with various kinds of neurodivergence have low empathy. With that statement (I don’t actually remember if it was 1 or 2 different statements), Jaiden demonized a lot of people’s everyday existence. I am of the opinion that it wasn’t deliberate (especially since that rhetoric is fairly common in a lot of asexual and some aromantic spaces). I hope this helps. /gen

[Bernadettey]

On 3/24/2022 at 6:35 AM, Neon said:

At this point, I'm just kind of iffy on my thoughts. As well-intentioned as it was, the video still had some aphobic and ableist statements. And while that's not inherently her fault, part of me feels like she easily could have used a pseudonym and just asked people in the community if she was overlooking important things. Besides, even if it was a genuine mistake and there was no way around it, that statement was still harmful. The fact that it was a mistake wouldn't minimize the harm done. In my mind, it's a bit of a double-edged sword: we have more visibility, but there's also a massive amount of people who will come out of that video with harmful views. I hope she is able to have a conversation with people that she hurt and grow from it.





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