Avoiding events because of romance?

[roboticanary]

Looking back at my childhood I was really uncomfortable at a lot of social events. I have always thought it was just me being a nervous introvert who didn't like the numbers. But as I got older I realised I was absolutely fine going to a football match, so it wasn't numbers and I was much better going to some events than others.

It might just be age but I have a sneaky suspicion the reason I became uncomfortable was not because of people but because of the romance. So I was really uncomfortable at weddings but fine during funerals. some celebrations with schoolfriends were a nightmare which I suspect was the implication that you use this to pull. but smaller birthday parties and the like were fine.

One of the things that really stands out to me is that there was a party put together by a few parents around the first year of secondary school, I just made up an excuse and sat at home instead. Thinking about it again it just seemed like the rest of my year looked at it as a chance for romance, a way to get a date and I wasn't comfortable with that.

So did anyone else feel uncomfortable because events had romantic connotations?

Have you ever avoided an event so you didn't have to deal with romance?

[DaviM703]

That seems a lot like me, I've never really been comfortable with formal dances and I've also been more comfortable with funerals than weddings in recent years. I also haven't been drawn to the idea of college parties, which may be good since lots of students at my college got suspended for them last year with COVID going on.

[Blake]

I feel uncomfy at big events too. Going to the beach is almost always a no no for me. It is a mix of me being uncomfy by people staring or looking at my body and the expectations that I should be doing something and not just be there like a decoration plant.

If its with friends I say yes to most things because I know them and we all clear. But with strangers there is something that is expected of me and I don't like that. Marriages are annoying for me. Going to funerals is way easier for me. As long as I know someone there that can help me in case I get to uncomfy, I try to be social. If not, nop.

[roboticanary]

On 9/19/2021 at 3:12 PM, DaviM703 said:

I also haven't been drawn to the idea of college parties, which may be good since lots of students at my college got suspended for them last year with COVID going on.

That's a good advantage. It always surprises me how dumb people can be in their desire to party.

[mewix]

I mean I always thought the main thing at weddings is food lol oh and I guess im obliged to be there or something

I only been to ones for ppl in my family but ye I won't be having my own haha

Other than that I can't think of any romantically tied events since I went to a single sex school so that dampned that. At university the main reason I didnt go to certain events was that I didn't drink.

 

[Apathetic Echidna]

I don't think I have skipped events for romance-avoidance reasons. I did skip my big high school formal but that was because I thought it would be terrible (it was) and I didn't want to pay almost $100 for a ticket. Though I did get a dress, I just wore it for other events. 

oh wait. scratch what I said. Yes. I avoided heaps of events. I had a friend who wanted to set me up, so I consistently avoided all the parties they invited me to. There were at least 3 a year for 4 years while we were at university. Though that may have had something to do with me working out that groups of young drunk Australian men tend to be aggressive and I don't like being cornered or groped.  

[roboticanary]

On 9/28/2021 at 11:51 PM, Apathetic Echidna said:

. I had a friend who wanted to set me up

Ah, unlucky.

I will never understand that attitude of wanting to set someone up. 

Like If that person wants to ask someone in particular out I can get being supportive but the attitude of trying to set someone up in general, especially with people they don't even know, just seems creepy.