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Can you be bi and aromantic?


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Hi 

Currently I am just trying to figure out who I am and how I identify as. I was just wondering if someone could explain to me if you can be bi and aromantic at the same time, and if you can, how does it work? To clarify what I mean by "explain how it works," I simply mean how can someone be bisexual and aromantic at the same time if they feel attracted to both genders when they don't feel romantic attraction? If someone could explain that to me it would be great!

If anything I said is incorrect or wrong please do correct me (and tell me why) I am only trying to educate myself and do not want to offend anyone!!

 

Thank you for your time and I hope you have a good day :)

- mars

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Welcome!

Yes you can. And the first thing I would like to say is that what you feel is what you feel. Saying "it is impossible to feel like that" makes no sense. Humans are varied, and labels are used by us to describe what we feel. They're not some inherent truth of the universe we must abide by.

I get that it can feel confusing, since outside of the asexual and aromantic communities people don't generally differentiate between sexual and romantic attraction. So in most contexts 'bisexual' (or any sexuality really) will refer to both sexual and romantic feelings, because to most people they go hand in hand. Once you come here though, it gets increasingly common that someone might feel just one or the other. Plenty of asexuals want romantic relationships just without the sexual aspect. Similarly, there are aros who still want to have sex, just not romantic relationships. (Those of us who want neither are called 'asexual aromantics'. The fact that both terms are used suggest that this is not everyone, or even the standard in these communities) So yes, someone might absolutely be bisexual as in meaning being sexually attracted to multiple genders, and aromantic, meaning not wanting romantic a romantic relationships. You've come to the right place^^

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hellooooo!!!! that would be me!! 

I'm sexually attracted to any gender, but just have never felt romantic feelings for anyone. Never had a crush or anything like that. 

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yup, you can be any sexual orientation and any romantic orientation.  even though for a lot of people they're connected (i guess?), they can totally be separate things.  as you can see, a bunch of us experience sexual but not romantic attraction.  

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On 7/12/2021 at 10:19 AM, Jedi said:

So in most contexts 'bisexual' (or any sexuality really) will refer to both sexual and romantic feelings, because to most people they go hand in hand.

But “bisexual” is the only word for an orientation that has “sexual” in it and is still normally used… I think it would be better to just say “bi”. So that it refers to both bisexual or biromantic attraction.

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11 hours ago, DeltaV said:

But “bisexual” is the only word for an orientation that has “sexual” in it and is still normally used… I think it would be better to just say “bi”. So that it refers to both bisexual or biromantic attraction.

Perioriented people tend to conflate romantic and sexual. Even though many of them, with the obvious exception of aro aces, can experience only romantic or only sexual attraction. Thus you find "sexual" used where "romosexual", even, "romantic" would be more accurate.

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