such Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 I want to know if anyone else has experienced this - Where you often get comments about being a hardworker or people are in awe of the things you've achieved, even if you don't feel like it's much. I have a Masters degree, and I'm continuing to study for a second Masters full-time while working part-time. In my spare time I volunteer and try to learn new things. I've always shied away or become uncomfortable when people try to compliment me with comments about my achievements because I really don't feel like anything has been that challenging. I think I'm now realising that other people devote a lot of their time and energy towards relationships and romance, whereas I don't, and maybe that's why I am perceived as hardworking or high-achieving. Just wondering if others have any similar experiences? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolo Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 (edited) I get the standard "wow you've got a PhD? So impressive! That must have been really hard." sort of comments every now and then. But anyone who knows me well will tell you I'm a very lazy person and would never do anything that actually requires real hard work. The success that from the outside looks like it must have taken a lot of dedication and effort was actually achieved because I find research easy and fun. I don't think being aro has anything to do with it. I work with people who achieve much more than me, I have friends who devote most of their free time to volunteering, I know someone who has learnt 7 different languages for fun... all whilst also having romantic relationships. My sister has a husband and 2 children and she is far more successful career-wise than me, because unlike me she has grit and is extremely ambitious. It's just a matter of personality, interests, and skill/intelligence. Personally I put whatever time I might otherwise dedicate to pursuing romance towards hanging out with my friends. Edited February 28, 2021 by Rolo So many typos. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeepsInTheChiliPot Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 I consider myself a hard worker and have been called such. I only have an associates degree so in regards to formal education I’m not an over achiever. I just tend to commit to whatever job I’ve been given. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eatingcroutons Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 21 hours ago, Rolo said: I don't think being aro has anything to do with it. ... It's just a matter of personality, interests, and skill/intelligence. Yeah, agreed. I know plenty of people who work hard and lead ambitious and successful lives while being in romantic relationships. I've always been a hardworking and busy person, but I don't think that has anything to do with being aro - I also put a lot of time and effort into maintaining my non-romantic relationships. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonmerci Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 I am the queen of procrastination so I won't describe myself as hardworking. However I think it is easier for single aro who are like that because they live alone at home and so have more time for focus on their work. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 I guess being aro does impact this because I know I will never have a long term romantic partner to split work with. So I know I will need to both do any work at home to keep the house in check or it won't get done. Any money I make I have to make myself and I am completely responsible for scheduling what I am doing and when I am doing it. I doubt I have any more innate work ethic but I reckon I have more need to do things myself. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 One thing that this reminds me of is that when I was younger and my family knew I wasn't in a romantic relationship they kept saying, mostly jokingly, that I was 'just focusing on my work'. Perhaps people get in their heads that if someone isn't in a romantic relationship they must be choosing not to to work on other parts of their lives. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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