Do you want to understand romantic attraction?

[Kallie]

(this topic is made with aromantics in mind, but if you're arospec (greyro, demiro, etc), feel free to also share your thoughts)

We've had lengthy discussions on what romantic attraction is, but the current topic was created more for sharing our definitions for it, rather than our relationship with the concept. I'm not asking if you wished you were alloromantic, just do you want to understand what they're feeling? Do you think you would benefit from it? Or are you content with knowing the feeling is just out of your reach as an aromantic person?

Edited November 23, 2020 by Kallie

[nonmerci]

I like to think even if I don't experience it, I kinda understand it, as a concept, if you see what I mean.

I want to write books and there is some romance in it, so a better understanding would be useful for me. Just so the last time I describe a kiss I don't have to Google it to know what it's supposed to feel like and why people like it, you see? (Yeah, that actually happened).

[Kristoph]

To be honest, not really. Romantic attraction is the last thing I could want to understand. Yeah, it would help me in my aro-activist activities but I don’t feel the real need to understand it.

[Stakh]

Well, I would say there are different types of "understanding" something. I definitely understand romantic attraction in sense of knowing the concept: how it works, how it feels, what are the consequences etc. Allos and some aro-spec can additionally understand it from the experience and though I would be quite interested in the possibility of knowing more deeply about the subject, I'm okay with my level.

 

[DeltaAro]

I think that we can roughly imagine what romantic attraction feels like through analogies. But those are still imperfect and it would be interesting for me to experience it once first-hand. Still I'm not especially troubled by this lack of knowledge.

[Ch0c0]

I think that I may understand it theoretically.

Although the border between toublesome obsession and romantic infatuation is still unclear to me.

[senACEay_11]

I think if I understood what romantic attraction felt like, it may help me validate the fact that I am truly aro. But, other than that, I don't feel I'm necessarily missing out on too much by not understanding.

[roboticanary]

it would be nice to understand it.however I know enough to know how to deal with other people being romantic to get by. if I was regularly surprised by how people in relationships treated me I would have more interest in understanding it.