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About Stakh

  • Birthday November 13

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Tadpole (1/4)

  1. Well, I would say there are different types of "understanding" something. I definitely understand romantic attraction in sense of knowing the concept: how it works, how it feels, what are the consequences etc. Allos and some aro-spec can additionally understand it from the experience and though I would be quite interested in the possibility of knowing more deeply about the subject, I'm okay with my level.
  2. I'm extremely grateful for my aro-ness. This identity wasn't that hard to accept and I hadn't had the "confusion phase", during which I would question myself and doubt my self-worth depending on my ability to love romantically. This whole thing was really chill for me. However, my aro identity removes the vast part of drama and problems and so gives me time and mental energy to actually do something more useful for my future.
  3. Yes! I'm AFAB too and heteronormativity is a new anxiety point in expressing affection with my frinds, who are mostly male. It applies also to the way I talk about them - I just can't say that I like them, respect them and find them cool, because it will be read as me having a crush on them. It is the new level of annoying!
  4. It's not big of a problem for me, but I wanted to know if anyone else had experienced similar feelings. I'm extremely sensual with my friends and with peolpe I like in general. I have an urge to caress their shoulders and back, to touch their arms and generallly to be really close to them. It usually goes pretty well, because I ask them if they're okay with it, often it's even mutual. The thing is that when I show affection in this way in front of other people or in public places (which isn't a problem itself, it's considered normal here) I start feeling a bit stressed, because I'm afraid that they wll mistake us for a couple. I never do anything about it, it doesn't affect me or my friends, it's just this annoying anxiety, which says that I can't even touch people I like or everyone else will immediately think I have a crush on them/we're dating. It just exists.
  5. Хей! Должно быть, поздновато я, но для будущих людей может быть полезно тоже - есть тут русскоговорящие люди, есть. Я аро би парень. Можем обменяться контактами, если хочешь общаться. Я не знал, что вообще существуют русские сайты для аромантиков и/или асексуалов. Максимум, что я смог найти - это группа Вконтакте, которая уже, к сожалению, заморожена. Может, есть что-нибудь ещё?
  6. I don't really think there was any "overshadowing" when I was a kid. In kindergarden I was pretty much romantic, used to play "the family" with others and actually liked some kids (though now I think at that time I just confused aesthetic attraction with romance). However, in 7th grade my classmates began to have crushes and dating, that was my great moment of confusion. I've never had crushes and didn't like anyone, so I assumed romance was some adult thing I'm too yound to understand. So I was extremely surprised when others suddenly started to care about romance at that young age. I clearly remember asking some classmates "Why are you dating? For what?" and being confused when they answered something like "Um, you know... love??". I just once felt something that I'd mistaken for a crush, but I didn't feel anything when got rejected. From that moment I just refused to do anything wirh romance, because I didn't really care and was completely okay with that.
  7. 1. It would be cool for me if they showed an aromantic character and didn't make their romantic orientation a big thing. Like to show character's hobbies, beliefs, emotions and personality traits without the drama about their inability to love romantically. From everything I've seen it just seems like there's nothing to do in this world except romance. 2. No. Sadly. It means that we're the ones to make our own representation, which is a bit encouraging.
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