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After I finished Loveless today (great book btw) I had this thought. It's a little bit jumbled and I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. 

Is it just me or is aro representation really missing in media?

I mean, even ace is not properly represented. But when you happen to stumble over an aro character, they are typicially aroace, rarely allosexual or somewhere on the acespectrum yet not inheretly ace. Like, nothing against aroaces....

It's just that when the rare case of aro representation happens, it's to 99% paired with asexuality. 

As an bi-graysexual aro I would like to have a little bit of that representation too. The struggle of being caught between ace and allo. The struggle of being aromantic but not asexual. 

Maybe also a demiace aro for example. Or a demiaro ace. 

In Loveless you have two side characters who are aromantic bisexual and gay asexual which I love but the first one does not appear as important as the latter. Anyways, I like that they exist and that it's not the typical black and white picture that we are normally presented with when aros and aces get representation.

I hope that made sense... 

 

Edited by LaReine
typo
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Yeah, this is very true! I think the closest case you can make for an aroallo character is the stereotypical "guy/girl who sleeps around a lot but never takes a relationship very seriously", a-la Barney from HIMYM, Joey or Chandler from Friends, Dean from at least the first few seasons of Supernatural. Unfortunately these types of characters usually culminate with finding "the one" that changes them and makes them want a relationship. Sometimes this is really cheap and comes off as "well, most shows have characters in relationships so let's add a love interest!" If it's well written and the love interest is a fully fleshed-out character who's a good friend in addition to being a romantic interest, then sometimes I'll get invested in the relationship, though.

Still, it would be cool to see an actual character purposefully written as aroallo, in which sex without a relationship wasn't framed as some bad, shallow thing, or a symptom of someone's immaturity or fear of commitment. I think that's what usually bugs me about media-- characters in books/movies/TV-- that the lack of a relationship is portrayed as a bad thing, and the existence of sex without a relationship is framed as even worse than that.

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People would likely view allo aros just as wanting to sleep around and there probably wouldn't be as much respect for that character as an asexual ig. Plus people find romantic subtext in everything, an aro they can't really ship so (mainstream especially) shows won't waste their token lgbtq character on someone they can't queerbait the audience with imao.

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12 hours ago, D0NN13_D1N0 said:

People would likely view allo aros just as wanting to sleep around and there probably wouldn't be as much respect for that character as an asexual ig. Plus people find romantic subtext in everything, an aro they can't really ship so (mainstream especially) shows won't waste their token lgbtq character on someone they can't queerbait the audience with imao.

True

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I actually was thinking the same thing recently (I haven't read Loveless yet, but I plan to) and I think that kind of pushed me to make a character who's an Aromantic Pansexual. I didn't just throw an orientation on a character though, it does fit well with who he is, but I might not have given him an orientation at all if I hadn't felt that aroallos are so underrepresented. I really hate that the closest there is to aroallo representation in the media are slutty and/or uncommitted people who, in general, are seen in a very negative light. 

I'm hoping that, with this character, I might be able to show that it's okay for someone to feel sexual attraction and not romantic attraction. Though this might take some research, because I don't really know what either of those are supposed to feel like. 

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I feel that for a lot of people, asexual still means ace AND aro, and so the only representation we get is for aro ace, when we have representation. Maybe because it is easier for people to represent it : no need to explain the attraction model, it matches people expectations.

 

But it would be so cool to have an aro allo representation! A real representation, not just people we could headcanon as aro because fear of commitment end or one-night-stand. Not that I have anything about one-night-stand but when I see aro allos speak they are rarely engaged in such things, on the contrary they talk about the difficulty to find sexual relationships that matter for their partner without it being romantic.

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