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Guest 359

Am I too young to be Aromantic?

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Guest 359

Hi, I’ve never really felt any kind of romantic attraction. Not even crushes, although up until recently I would pick people to say I had crushes on because I felt like I didn’t fit in. I don’t know that I even want to be in a relationship, I’ve never really understood romantic love and the way it makes people act. For a couple of years I’ve felt almost like I was doing something wrong, Or that I was broken. I recently started considering being Aromantic and the thought just made me feel like I could belong and be happy with the way I feel. The thing is my best friend didn’t feel any attraction until a year ago so she thinks I’m just a late bloomer and one day I’ll feel it too. She might be right, I’m only fifteen and I know a lot changes as you grow up. I’m just tired of feeling like I don’t fit. Is it okay for me to identify Aromantic even though I’m still young?

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Personally, I don't think you are too young to know. Because of the rules of the site, I am assuming you are older than 13, but even if you were younger, I think you know yourself best.

Also, if you identify as aromantic, then start experiencing attraction, then you can stop using the label.

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Of course it is! You're never too young/too old. If you end up feeling attraction someday, it's not a big deal. If you don't, it's also not a big deal.

 

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No, you are definitely not too young to identify as aro

I would put it like this, someone who was romantic could quite easily make that known at your age, so why would it be wrong to claim you don't feel that way.

Maybe you will bloom late, but put this in balance. I didn't even know of the term till my mid twenties which really sucks. Learning about aromanticism late on meant I was trying to navigate a world of love blind till then and making mistakes which could have been fixed knowing about aromanticism, for example understanding QPRs and why I felt awful with the idea of dating. As well as knowing I was not alone in being uncomfortable. You have a great opportunity because you are aware of aromanticism already.

So take that label, if it doesn't fit you later that's fine, but you have nothing to lose from trying it out. If it turns out you are aro though, by trying the label out and learning in aro spaces you get a great advantage from being aware and settled in your identity before you hit adulthood.

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You can identify however you want, just be open to the possibility that it might change :)

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imo you like...can identify as aro as a young teen but it's also totally normal to not have a crush yet or feel ready to date at your age. i think the aro and ace communities should at the very least be 16+ but im also not here for jabbing my nose into how a stranger identifies and if you're going to id as aro i would rather just make sure no one's being creepy about it. also, keep in mind that this is actually how a lot of lesbians in denial feel and not feeling romantic attraction towards boys =/= not feeling romantic attraction at all.

Edited by Finn

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On 9/10/2020 at 9:16 PM, Violet Stars said:

Of course it is! You're never too young/too old. If you end up feeling attraction someday, it's not a big deal. If you don't, it's also not a big deal.

 

100% this! I identified as aroace when I was 14. Eventually I realised ace wasn't right for me, so I stopped using it. It wasn't a big deal, and I don't feel any regret over how I used to identify; it helped me when that label did fit, made me challenge social norms within myself so I'm ultimately able to be a better ally to aces now, and it lead me to other labels I do still use. On the other hand, I still identify as aromantic. No big deal there either. I think most teens know themselves better than people suggest. Anyone of any orientation can know from when they're very little, and orientation can change at any point in your life. I hope it helps to hear from someone who has experience changing and keeping labels into adulthood, and I wish you luck op.

 

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