Is there a term for aromantic and asexual?

[aroscorpio]

Hiya! So I’ve recently beet greatly entertaining the idea that I’m asexual as well as aromantic, and I was wondering if there was an actual term to mean I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. I’ve heard terms like ‘aromantic asexual’ or ‘aroace’ but those are just combinations of both of the terms. Not that there’s any shade against people who use those terms, I’d just like a catchall term to cover both.

[Autumn]

There isn't one that I'm currently aware of...it'd be nice if there was for the people who see it as 1 thing for themselves and not 2. Aroace is the only one I know of, or I guess you could id as a 'perioriented aro' or 'perioriented ace' but that's more of a mouthful. You can personally use aro or ace to refer to both, the same was pansexual/panromantic people just say pan, but there isn't anything that exclusively means 'aro and ace' other than 'aro and ace/aroace'. Unless a term was developed that I haven't seen, in which case I'd definitely be interested to hear about it as well!

[aroscorpio]

11 minutes ago, Autumn said:

There isn't one that I'm currently aware of...it'd be nice if there was for the people who see it as 1 thing for themselves and not 2. Aroace is the only one I know of, or I guess you could id as a 'perioriented aro' or 'perioriented ace' but that's more of a mouthful. You can personally use aro or ace to refer to both, the same was pansexual/panromantic people just say pan, but there isn't anything that exclusively means 'aro and ace' other than 'aro and ace/aroace'. Unless a term was developed that I haven't seen, in which case I'd definitely be interested to hear about it as well!

Well, if I find one you’ll be the first to know! I’ve thought about just saying asexual but making sure everyone knows it’s in a perioriented sense, but idk how practical that would be...

[Violet Stars]

38 minutes ago, aroscorpio said:

Hiya! So I’ve recently beet greatly entertaining the idea that I’m asexual as well as aromantic, and I was wondering if there was an actual term to mean I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. I’ve heard terms like ‘aromantic asexual’ or ‘aroace’ but those are just combinations of both of the terms. Not that there’s any shade against people who use those terms, I’d just like a catchall term to cover both.

Someone was talking about this on AVEN! They proposed the word "nosexual" which is kinda silly IMO ?. Either way I hope you find one! For now, I'm fine with using aroace. 

[aroscorpio]

8 minutes ago, Violet Stars said:

Someone was talking about this on AVEN! They proposed the word "nosexual" which is kinda silly IMO ?. Either way I hope you find one! For now, I'm fine with using aroace. 

What is AVEN? I keep hearing about it but I don’t actually know what it is. ?

[Violet Stars]

2 minutes ago, aroscorpio said:

What is AVEN? I keep hearing about it but I don’t actually know what it is. ?

It's the Asexual Visibility and Education Network! Basically like this place but for asexuals.

I've been on there for two years and counting! I'd recommend you check it out! 

[aroscorpio]

21 minutes ago, Violet Stars said:

It's the Asexual Visibility and Education Network! Basically like this place but for asexuals.

I've been on there for two years and counting! I'd recommend you check it out! 

Gotcha! Thanks!!

[aspecofstardust]

I've always used "aroace" myself. There have been many aroace flags created though, here's a wiki link about them: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Aroace

The one I see most often on tumblr these days is the orange and blue one by aroaesflags, but plenty have made the rounds. 

I would love to use a combination term for myself -- I feel like there are a lot of parts of my experiences and identity that I can't parse into either aromantic or asexual because for me they are so intertwined. I understand how for other people they might not be, and in some ways I experience them differently (especially related to repulsion) but a lot falls in a blurry in-between for me personally.

[Magni]

I tend to view "aroace" as a single word encapsulating both, as opposed to "aro ace" or "aromantic asexual" which is just combining the two separate words into a phrase.  You could also identify specifically as "a-spec", which can be used for not differentiating the attractions you don't feel into different types, though that is more commonly used as broad umbrella term.

[aroscorpio]

5 hours ago, aspecofstardust said:

I've always used "aroace" myself. There have been many aroace flags created though, here's a wiki link about them: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Aroace

The one I see most often on tumblr these days is the orange and blue one by aroaesflags, but plenty have made the rounds. 

I would love to use a combination term for myself -- I feel like there are a lot of parts of my experiences and identity that I can't parse into either aromantic or asexual because for me they are so intertwined. I understand how for other people they might not be, and in some ways I experience them differently (especially related to repulsion) but a lot falls in a blurry in-between for me personally.

Yeah, I guess I’ve just never really liked the fact that aroace doesn’t end in ‘romantic’ or ‘sexual’ because I feel like those suffixes tend to be ore recognizable and self-explanatory, ya know? But tbh I don’t really know how to know if my romantic and sexual attraction are intertwined instead of separate because I don’t think I’ve ever really felt either of them. ?

3 hours ago, Magni said:

I tend to view "aroace" as a single word encapsulating both, as opposed to "aro ace" or "aromantic asexual" which is just combining the two separate words into a phrase.  You could also identify specifically as "a-spec", which can be used for not differentiating the attractions you don't feel into different types, though that is more commonly used as broad umbrella term.

Aspec would make sense, although I guess my discomfort with that would be pretty much the same thing as I said to the above comment, and also because aspec can mean several different things. (Agender is also considered aspec isn’t it?)

[Magni]

On 8/3/2020 at 2:39 AM, aroscorpio said:

Aspec would make sense, although I guess my discomfort with that would be pretty much the same thing as I said to the above comment, and also because aspec can mean several different things. (Agender is also considered aspec isn’t it?)

...there's another thread on this forum where had big conversation of what a-spec means, personally I as an agender person do not think agender should be included under a-spec bc while you would talk about ace-spec and aro-spec, you don't talk about agender-spec, so why would agender be part of a-spec? agender is part of nonbinary.

[nisse]

On 8/3/2020 at 5:37 AM, Magni said:

I tend to view "aroace" as a single word encapsulating both, as opposed to "aro ace" or "aromantic asexual" which is just combining the two separate words into a phrase. 

Same here!! I kinda love it ngl, it's also pretty self-explanatory (as long as the person knows what aro and ace means), which is a big plus for me personally. 

This is also why i love the orange-blue aroace flag that's going around - it's one for us who view it as one whole orientation. AFAIK some folks view their own as separated (i believe they've been referred to as oriented aro/ace?), which is a valid stance, so it's kinda neat to have a flag just for us! and since folks who don't view it as one whole orientation usually use aro/ace or similar, it works well in my mind ?

[Magni]

33 minutes ago, nisse said:

This is also why i love the orange-blue aroace flag that's going around - it's one for us who view it as one whole orientation. AFAIK some folks view their own as separated (i believe they've been referred to as oriented aro/ace?), which is a valid stance, so it's kinda neat to have a flag just for us! and since folks who don't view it as one whole orientation usually use aro/ace or similar, it works well in my mind

Oriented aroace is for aroaces who experience other attractions such that they are oriented, for example an aroace who experiences strong queerplatonic attraction to people of all genders might consider themselves pan-oriented aroace.  I like the concept of aroace flag as a single concept but have always strongly disliked the blue-orange one because the color symbolism is not innately recognizable as being related to ace & aro stuff,  and had made my own flag shortly after the blue-orange one was made (can see flag coining post here for meanings etc).

 

[Autumn]

2 hours ago, Magni said:

...there's another thread on this forum where had big conversation of what a-spec means, personally I as an agender person do not think agender should be included under a-spec bc while you would talk about ace-spec and aro-spec, you don't talk about agender-spec, so why would agender be part of a-spec? agender is part of nonbinary.

Correct me if I'm wrong - this is meant to be phrased more as a real question - but with identities such as demiboy/girl and boy/girlflux existing, doesn't that mean agender sort of is - or can be - a spectrum? Since not everyone who id's as such does to the same extent or the same way? Obviously it is part of nonbinary, and if no one who at all id's with agender would consider it a spectrum then it's not, but I've been under the impression it could be?

43 minutes ago, nisse said:

Same here!! I kinda love it ngl, it's also pretty self-explanatory (as long as the person knows what aro and ace means), which is a big plus for me personally. 

This is also why i love the orange-blue aroace flag that's going around - it's one for us who view it as one whole orientation. AFAIK some folks view their own as separated (i believe they've been referred to as oriented aro/ace?), which is a valid stance, so it's kinda neat to have a flag just for us! and since folks who don't view it as one whole orientation usually use aro/ace or similar, it works well in my mind ?

I like the orange and blue one too - it not being unidentifiable quickly as connected to the other communities never bothered me, since again it can be its own separate thing and so I don't think it really needs to take from the other ones. But I'm not really invested in the flag debates like some people, the other ones I've seen (such as @Magni's!) I think look lovely as well and are great choices. (Although I never did like the literal smooshing of the aro ace flags, any other original designs are fine by me though). The aro flag is consistent enough to offer community for me personally, so a singular Official aroace flag isn't as critical for me.

[nisse]

9 hours ago, Magni said:

Oriented aroace is for aroaces who experience other attractions such that they are oriented, for example an aroace who experiences strong queerplatonic attraction to people of all genders might consider themselves pan-oriented aroace

that makes so much sense haha idk why i didn't think of this ?

8 hours ago, Autumn said:

The aro flag is consistent enough to offer community for me personally, so a singular Official aroace flag isn't as critical for me.

oh same, i'm not really bothered by people not immediately knowing or recognizing the blue-orange one - for me personally i'll prob use the aro one for recognition, i'm just not big on how it looks. this is like, pure aesthetic senses. i'm not big on green hahaha. the blue-orange one speaks to my tastes, and i love the reasoning for the colours, though i get what @Magni says with it not being recognizable as related to aro&ace. 

although (and this is a COMPLETE detraction from the original topic, apologies!) i kinda wish we didn't feel like we had to go for the vertical stripes in every pride flag. I get that then it's recognziable as a pride flag, but I wish we felt freer to be more creative lol. like the purple circle on yellow of intersex, or the Labrys flag and the many iterations of it. or even the triangle of the demi flag!

i mean, we already have the arrow as a sort of symbol. arrows and spades....? i'm not a graphic designer, i'm always impressed by people who come up with any kind of flag

Edited August 6, 2020 by nisse
added the arrow bit

[aroscorpio]

13 hours ago, Magni said:

...there's another thread on this forum where had big conversation of what a-spec means, personally I as an agender person do not think agender should be included under a-spec bc while you would talk about ace-spec and aro-spec, you don't talk about agender-spec, so why would agender be part of a-spec? agender is part of nonbinary.

Oooh okay - thank you for educating me! I’m sorry for making assumptions. I knew that it was a part of non-binary but I also thought it was included in a-spec, so I apologize for making incorrect assumptions.

10 hours ago, Autumn said:

I like the orange and blue one too - it not being unidentifiable quickly as connected to the other communities never bothered me, since again it can be its own separate thing and so I don't think it really needs to take from the other ones. But I'm not really invested in the flag debates like some people, the other ones I've seen (such as @Magni's!) I think look lovely as well and are great choices. (Although I never did like the literal smooshing of the aro ace flags, any other original designs are fine by me though). The aro flag is consistent enough to offer community for me personally, so a singular Official aroace flag isn't as critical for me.

This is just a thing personal to me - but I’ve actually never been a huge fan of the orange and blue one. I don’t like orange very much so I guess that could be why, but I agree that I think it’s because it doesn’t look consistent with other ace-aro stuff. And I’m a huge fan in general of the aromantic flag, so there’s that! ?

11 hours ago, nisse said:

Same here!! I kinda love it ngl, it's also pretty self-explanatory (as long as the person knows what aro and ace means), which is a big plus for me personally. 

This is also why i love the orange-blue aroace flag that's going around - it's one for us who view it as one whole orientation. AFAIK some folks view their own as separated (i believe they've been referred to as oriented aro/ace?), which is a valid stance, so it's kinda neat to have a flag just for us! and since folks who don't view it as one whole orientation usually use aro/ace or similar, it works well in my mind ?

I’m glad to hear that they work well for you! I’ve just never been a personal fan of the term aroace or the aroace flag, but that’s just a personal thing - I’m not trying to invalidate them in ANY way, I hope that’s clear.

[nisse]

34 minutes ago, aroscorpio said:

I’m not trying to invalidate them in ANY way, I hope that’s clear.

oh no I think you're being very clear on why you want another term, and I completely understand why!

and when it comes to flags, nothing can please 100% of people. I know several bi folks who finds solace in the flag*, but doesn't particularly vibe with it aesthetically. i love all the creativity surrounding folks making flags, i'm always blown away by the thoughts put into them. i think as long as new ones aren't being made for the wrong reasons i welcome any iteration of an aroace flag, same with terminology!

and i wouldn't be surprised if this evolves, and aroace becomes obsolete. in which case i'll be an Elder Queer(TM) who uses the old terms, and loves all the young aroaces finding their own way and words ?

*the Bi flag, that is!

Edited August 6, 2020 by nisse
clarification

[Guest Guestviewer]

I was on that aven thread! Eventually a conversation started about whether aroaces could begin using the term ”spinster”. 

[aroscorpio]

5 hours ago, nisse said:

oh no I think you're being very clear on why you want another term, and I completely understand why!

and when it comes to flags, nothing can please 100% of people. I know several bi folks who finds solace in the flag*, but doesn't particularly vibe with it aesthetically. i love all the creativity surrounding folks making flags, i'm always blown away by the thoughts put into them. i think as long as new ones aren't being made for the wrong reasons i welcome any iteration of an aroace flag, same with terminology!

and i wouldn't be surprised if this evolves, and aroace becomes obsolete. in which case i'll be an Elder Queer(TM) who uses the old terms, and loves all the young aroaces finding their own way and words ?

*the Bi flag, that is!

Elder Queer! I love that so much! And I’m glad to see how inclusive everybody on this forum is! ??

[Stoneandglass]

That thread on aven turned into another thread where people discussed the idea of aroaces retaking the word ”spinster”. 
 

Edit: The guest was me too but the comment didn't seem to be going through so I made an account, but now the other comment appeared. Uh... just ignore it.

Edited August 7, 2020 by Stoneandglass

[aroscorpio]

3 hours ago, Stoneandglass said:

That thread on aven turned into another thread where people discussed the idea of aroaces retaking the word ”spinster”. 

Huh. I’ve never heard that before!

[kernsing]

I've heard of "anattractional" before. Definitions that come up in Google include "not feeling attraction" (which sounds like it encompasses platonic, alterous, etc. attractions too) and "not feeling attraction on one or more axes" (which is broader than "not feeling romantic AND sexual attraction"). So not sure if this is a word that fits your criteria, but it's there.

[Rolo]

11 hours ago, kernsing said:

I've heard of "anattractional" before. Definitions that come up in Google include "not feeling attraction" (which sounds like it encompasses platonic, alterous, etc. attractions too) and "not feeling attraction on one or more axes" (which is broader than "not feeling romantic AND sexual attraction"). So not sure if this is a word that fits your criteria, but it's there.

I read that as "analtractional" which sound like a unique kink ?

On 8/7/2020 at 12:17 AM, Stoneandglass said:

That thread on aven turned into another thread where people discussed the idea of aroaces retaking the word ”spinster”. 

I saw that thread too, I'm rather dubious about "reclaiming" a "slur" which was never aimed at us to begin with. I would probably be called a spinster if this was 1800 (ignoring the fact that I wouldn't have any choice but to marry), but... it's not.

[Stoneandglass]

I don't think anyone was saying that ”spinster” is a slur. I get it though, because ”reclaim” is usually used for very strong words like slurs so it could carelessly imply spinster is one too. 

Anyways I think anattractional is leagues better than spinster. I'd even go as far to say it's a genuinely good term that I could see people wanting to use. Plus it starts with an A   :). 

As far as I can tell this word was made by beyond-mogai-pride-flags on Tumblr. It seems like it's supposed to mean someone who doesn't experience multiple forms if attraction. Not necessarily ”doesnt experience any attraction but it can include that too? Alright I think I'm going to ask them if it'd be okay for aroaces to use it, to be safe. I'll update if they respond 

Edit: their asks are off

Edited August 9, 2020 by Stoneandglass

[Stoneandglass]

I got the okay! It would be acceptable for aroaces to use it.

(They also suggested the terms ay, reidem, and nullic/nullative, if anyone’s interested )