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Aroflux!


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Hey guys,

I found this identity on Tumblr called "aroflux", which pretty much describes my arospec orientation!

It's when "the degree of one’s aromanticism fluctuates over a period of time". Like, I've got this "crush" and sometimes I want to kiss them and do romantic stuff with them, and sometimes I'm just like, "yuck, no way".

Uh... just felt like sharing that! xD Does anyone else feel like this?

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Interesting! Sometimes I feel like I experience something similar to that, and then I will later rethink my thoughts and reactions, and start thinking that it was really a false positive...

 

I certainly vary in how much I'm willing to be intimate with somebody, but I've never been able to conclusively find anything that might be an actual romantic attitude, so I guess I don't know. It's interesting to think about/keep in mind though. Thanks for sharing!

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  • 3 years later...

Resurrecting this thread again because I want to poke other aroflux folks on these forums.

 

How do you define aroflux for yourself? Or, what experiences made you drawn to the aroflux label?

 

For me (and I realize I've talked a lot about this in other forum posts already, so sorry about that), it's about my relationship to aromanticism and to romance. My tolerance of romance - in terms of behaviours associated with it, the actual attraction feeling, amatonormativity -, whether it's directed at me or just something I see around me, fluctuates a lot and sometimes very wildly. Some days I'm romance-repulsed. Other days I'm neutral, or even on the cusp of favourable. Some days I know 100% that I have never and will never feel romantic attraction. Other days I question my definition of romantic attraction and whether some of my alterous feelings are actually romantic. In the end I always conclude that, no matter my uncertainties about where I fall on the aro spectrum, my relationship to romance as a concept is inherently queer and the aromantic label is kind of all about that questioning of romance as a concept for oneself. The -flux part is just a way I can indicate to myself and to others that my understanding of romance varies quite often, as do my feelings.

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  • 2 months later...

I just came across the term aroflux recently and I’m considering if it’s something that fits for me. I am currently in a romantic relationship and my complex feelings are at times a cause of distress for me. I don’t think that the feelings themselves change. I always remain comfortable performing certain romance coded actions and not others, and my feelings for my girlfriend always have the same intensity. The thing that changes is that sometimes I look at those feelings and they feel romantic, while other times they feel entirely platonic. 
 

I have a long history of having no idea what I’m feeling. I know that I have never felt what other people describe when they describe crushes. I know that I am not comfortable with all of the activities that are typically associated with romance. This is enough to lead me to believe that I belong somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. 
 

I have trouble though, because during the times when I interpret the feelings as romantic, I feel as though I am betraying the aromantic community, and when the feelings don’t feel romantic, I feel as though I’m betraying my girlfriend. 
 

so yeah, now I’m not talking about aroflux as a concept. Just my insecurities. Sorry about that. 

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  • 3 months later...
  • 1 month later...
Guest caijda

I’ve actually defined myself as aroflux for a few years now. I’m usually always on the grayromantic scale, and usually towards the allo end, but there are days where I definitely fall in full aromantic territory. I actually noticed it when I was in my first relationship. We didn’t know each other very well before getting together, so when the aro mood hit, I didn’t care for him at all. The romantic feelings came back a day or so later, but all I could think was “that’s super weird!!” Thinking there was something wrong, I turned to the internet, and I realized I was ace. It didn’t really come up again until I had another crush a few years later, and the aro hit again, and I started my searching all over. I also played around with labels like cuprio- and quiro-, but like y’all have said above, they never really felt right. I have kept going with aroflux since I heard it, as nothing else has really ever fit. 
 

I still have a weird relationship with romantic feelings, but a few things that have helped me settle into my skin more are getting out from living with my emotionally abusive parents and realizing how much I value and crave platonic love. I actually struggled with being aroflux for about five years, as I have always wanted to be married and some day have a family, and I realized that part of what I will need to look for in a partner is someone who will understand that I love them just as much as I do when the aro strikes, my type of attraction just changes. Realizing that I am allowed to love platonically as fiercely and intensely as I’ve always been taught romantic love feels like was also super healing, bc then I didn’t have to feel bad about loving my best friend as much as I love my significant other, especially when there is absolutely no difference between the attraction I’m feeling towards either of them at that moment. 

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Hi! I am also aroflux! Here's the reason I use the term: I have had one boyfriend (when I thought I was straight) and some days I was up for holding hands and kissing, and others I was more into snuggling and just watching the movie. I really struggled because I didn't have a term for it, and I think that the reason he broke up with me was actually because some days I would and others I wouldn't do anything. But I feel much better now  that I have a term!!

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  • 4 months later...
Guest Kiwi Star

I think I might be aroflux, sometimes I can see myself doing romantic things and cuddling with specific people and a couple hours later think all those things would be weird and that me and that person are just friends, this happens rarely though so until now iv'e just identified with grey-aro . I can definitely tell that my feelings are genuine, even if they contradict each other.

Im pretty young so any advice from other aroflux people would be helpful 

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  • 1 year later...
On 4/17/2016 at 10:40 PM, Sentient Android said:

Hey guys,

I found this identity on Tumblr called "aroflux", which pretty much describes my arospec orientation!

It's when "the degree of one’s aromanticism fluctuates over a period of time". Like, I've got this "crush" and sometimes I want to kiss them and do romantic stuff with them, and sometimes I'm just like, "yuck, no way".

Uh... just felt like sharing that! xD Does anyone else feel like this?

well tbh idk if im aroflux or alloromantic but thats how i feel most time duh! 

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