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Fantasising and Thoughts


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I just read about someone thinking constantly about their squish/best friends when they are not together. I had thought mental fixation was more of a romantic thing. The only things I seem to focus on when I am away from the other person(s) are situations I could have handled better. I don't seem to have constant thoughts or fantasies of friends, be they platonic, romantic or sexual, they just don't seem to make it into my mind. It is only the odd night that someone I know makes it into my dreams and I am much more likely to have a daydream about a fictional character or a pet than one of my friends. 

 

I just want to know if other people relate to this, or if you do have thoughts and fantasies of people you know?

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I sometimes get this when I'm really far away from the friend in question--because of how my life works, generally I'm at least 1000 miles away from at least one of the 3 people I'm closest to for months at a time, so I really miss them and tend to think about them a lot to help with it.

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  • 3 months later...

i've read certain things that imply that fantasising about people is only related to alloromantics/allosexuals, but for myself i know i have daydreams about hanging out with my squish, you know, envisioning future plans i'd like to make with them- going out together, and just hanging out... all of these are completely platonic, no romance hense i still refer to them as my squish.

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2 hours ago, OpenAce said:

i've read certain things that imply that fantasising about people is only related to alloromantics/allosexuals, but for myself i know i have daydreams about hanging out with my squish, you know, envisioning future plans i'd like to make with them- going out together, and just hanging out... all of these are completely platonic, no romance hense i still refer to them as my squish.

 

Me too!

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I don't think fantasizing about squishes has anything to do with your romantic/sexual orientation. It might be more of a personality thing, because I know people who are alloromantic/allosexual who say they almost never fantasize. But I dunno, I guess the only one who can tell if it means something is the person fantasizing/daydreaming :D.

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Hmm... I haven't recently, but at times when I was really close with any of my bestfriends, since they would be friends I met over internet, I would find myself thinking and getting giddy about meeting them in real life and doing things (often things like travelling together, spending just some time doing our own stuff in silence, doing silly pranks, watching our favourite shows, having talks on topics that connected us in the first place while face to face for once, making an origami gift for them which I still do like thinking about because I like making things, handmade things for people I like? And imagining silly adventures with said friend and our OCs or favourite characters which we might or might not have rped as etc.) but it is a lot different than what people describe with a crush. I daydreamed of silly, funny, cozy scenarios with a lighthearted yet close, homey feeling than all the "butterflies and nervousness" "wanting to do romantic and/or sexual stuff" with them etc. 

 

Also, it often happens when I first met said person, when I was just starting to get closer to and or just started  to talk as much with them, it gets really intense for a while and fades away eventually into a "they are really precious for me but I could do without talking as much with them so long as we still can talk whenever we feel like or need to"

 

I suppose I do get overly attached at any person I really like at first, but again, it is somehow wanting to gain their respect and admiration, affection so that they would want to be around you as much as you want theirs, so that was something I coined as "admiration crush" to a person I was squishing really hard with to describe how it is different from normal crushes before I even heard about aromanticism/squishes.

 

It passes when I do know that person now values me too and we are close and that they trust me, it just fades to that general warm feeling of a good/close friendship.

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I think it has more to do with personality type. I fantasize constantly (which I'm trying to do less of, so that I'm more in the moment) about friends, squishes, current sexual partners, fictional characters etc. and often carry on conversations with people in different scenarios. I've always done this, and from a young age, have had a very active and rewarding imaginative/fantasy life. None of my fantasies or daydreaming is romantic, and most often, is rather mundane (lots of hiking...) Occasionally sexual or sensual, but my mind goes blank for romance (which was a sign for me while figuring out I was aromantic).

 

So I think that fantasies/obsessive thoughts about friends/squishes has more to do with whether someone is already prone to daydreaming/fantasizing about other things. For me, it's become a little bit of a problem recently (likely because of isolation from friends/family/social interaction) so I need to find other coping mechanisms/things to occupy my very busy mind. 

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On 12/25/2017 at 12:08 PM, hippiecat said:

I don't think fantasizing about squishes has anything to do with your romantic/sexual orientation. It might be more of a personality thing

 

16 hours ago, ladyasym said:

I think it has more to do with personality type.

 

I agree, I think it's personality-related. I rarely get squishes these days, but when I do, I'll think about that person a lot and have daft fantasies of us becoming BFFs. This fits my personality as I'm a daydreamer and I tend to get very enthusiastic (this is a polite way of saying obsessive) about things I really like, whether it's a band, a TV show, an idea for a new creative project, etc.

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2 hours ago, Skittles87 said:

 

 

I agree, I think it's personality-related. I rarely get squishes these days, but when I do, I'll think about that person a lot and have daft fantasies of us becoming BFFs. This fits my personality as I'm a daydreamer and I tend to get very enthusiastic (this is a polite way of saying obsessive) about things I really like, whether it's a band, a TV show, an idea for a new creative project, etc.

 

I relate soooo much to this!

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On 28/12/2017 at 6:28 AM, Skittles87 said:

I'm a daydreamer

I am a daydreamer too, but I guess I am just massively self absorbed as the daydreams basically are never about other people I know! :rofl: I daydream about random things and things related to myself all the time. 

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