Helion Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I don't even know what title this will have heh but I wanna share a certain experience. I'm aromantic, big surprise, I know, but I have hardly told anyone about it, just very few of my friends and tbh mostly internet randos (Like y'all) because it's inconsequential. There were a few people (internet randos) who were kind of annoying about me being aromantic. Whenever I said something even remotely positive about a romantic topic, something like a joking "Oh my god, I wanna marry you", "I think fictional couple xy is kinda cute!", "If I was in a relationship with person xy...", etc. these certain people reacted with "Aren't you aromantic? Why are you saying that?" That is... So confusing because jesus, just because I don't feel romantic attraction and don't wanna be in relationships doesn't mean I must be cynical and spiteful towards everything remotely connected to romance?? Why is that an expectation some people have? Ofc feel free to drop your experiences, if you had any in that regard. F to all ace people who experience the same shit with sex jokes as a fellow sex joke enjoyer pfft 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
organs and bone Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 here for u glad I’m not the only one ✨ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estelar Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I cannot speak from personal experience since I am usually not talking about aromanticism outside the aromantic (or asexual) community, but I believe I have some ideas what is going on. It seems to me when you tell them being aromantic, they think it is not only about lacking romantic attraction, but also implying having little to no understanding of romance. So in their minds they are the experts on romance but you as an aromantic have no idea, and whenever you make some remarks about romance, that seems silly to them. This may seem immature to you, but with someone having little knowledge about aromanticism, the association being aromantic means not understanding romance is made pretty quickly. Perhaps a metaphor can help here. Let's say you are in a group of scuba divers and there is one guest who has no experience in that at all. When this guest is telling you about their ideas of scuba diving, you probably find that silly. I imagine what happens when you are saying something about a romantic thing to those people is similar. So, when you tell someone you are aromantic, they will probably not only think you lack romantic attraction, but also that you are not interested in anything romantic and have no idea what romance is. I am afraid there is not much you can do about it unless you make them understand the mechanisms of aromanticism, which they probably do not find particularly exciting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Newest Fabled Creature Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 Not that I experienced this a lot, but there were times where when my brother actively tried to remember I'm aromantic, and he would kind of say something like that if I jokingly said, "I'd marry this or that person/ or fictional character." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kira- Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 11 hours ago, Helion said: Whenever I said something even remotely positive about a romantic topic, something like a joking "Oh my god, I wanna marry you", "I think fictional couple xy is kinda cute!", "If I was in a relationship with person xy...", etc. these certain people reacted with "Aren't you aromantic? Why are you saying that?" Ofc feel free to drop your experiences, if you had any in that regard. F to all ace people who experience the same shit with sex jokes as a fellow sex joke enjoyer pfft iv had sim experiences back in middle school i used 2 hang w a group of ppl and they would often make s3x and romance jokes and comments to each other (everyone was gay except 4 me and one other aroace). wanting to fit in i would often make the same jokes w them and this would result in comments such as “aren’t u aroace?” “i thought u were aroace” “guess u aren’t aroace anymore” “i’m starting to think u aren’t actually aroace”, even tho they “supported my orientation”. i rly just wanted to fit in w ppl. another example is when i came out 4 the first time. after initially coming out i ended up just never talking abt my orientation anymore to my fam, and then one day a few months later my brother slid in a comment in response to smthn like “you thought u were aroace just bc u didn’t want 2 marry”. idk why he said that bc i had never told him i wasn’t after i had come out so he was just assuming that bc i didn’t make it my whole personality i was faking it (this was over a year ago so i dont rly care much abt it anymore but it’s worth saying). i also do my best 2 avoid making comments abt fictional chars bc ppl will take anything out of context and the wrong way. hope this helps in sm way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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