Jot-Aro Kujo

Hello! Always good to meet other allo aros. What class do you main?

Oh noooo!! Big F... I wonder if anyone will take over. (Sure ain't gonna be me, I'm a horribly disorganized college student, but I wish the best of luck to whoever does.)

It would depend on context, usually. If someone talks about just "allos" it usually means alloromantics, but the phrase "allo aro" refers to allosexual aromantics.

As for the rings, I've... Never actually heard of anyone using green rings? White ones, sure, but never green... Although I have heard also of wearing rings with arrow themes. You could also just get aro merch, if you want to be more direct about it. I own several aro pins and a T-shirt.

2 minutes ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I'm actually quite fond at using the shift key but yes, you make a compelling case. I will cease to use "Full A", I was only so against acearo because I wanted a term I invented to become popular. Sigh, pride will be my downfall.

Thank you for being kind.

Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I apologize. I forgot other people had illogical connotations for certain words. 'Full' and 'half' aren't negative for me, they are statements of the status of something. Full isn't meant to imply the rest is half(ie. less). It is meaning that there is nothing but A.

I can understand that, but regardless, those are the connotations that it has to others. The aro community as a whole is moving away from using such terminology, because many allo aros have spoken up about the fact that it hurts us. So, even if it doesn't seem hurtful to you, to others it is hurtful, so it's better to simply use another, less hurtful term to avoid mistreating and excluding other members of your community.

"Aroace" is generally the commonly used term to mean asexual and aromantic, and at only six characters, it takes the same amount of time to type as "full A"- even less if you consider that you don't have to use the shift key.

Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I was actually being explicitly kind and, as a compound point, I'm not even saying anything rude. I was simply stating that if, hypothetically, someone threw I fit that I said Full A because that's discriminatory towards 'allosexuals' I would make the above points. In a far less congenial manner, of course.

It's not discriminatory towards allosexuals as in allosexual alloromantics (i.e. people who are neither ace nor aro). It's discriminatory towards allosexual aros (people who are aromantic, and experience sexual attraction) as well as alloromantic aces (people who are asexual, but experience romantic attraction). It implies that we are "less" than aroaces, which is not cool. Our experiences are real, they are just as strong as anyone else's. "Aroace" is a perfectly fine term to describe being aromantic and asexual.

You compared me, a bisexual aromantic, to cishets for asking that my experiences as an aromantic not be erased. I fail to see how that's being explicitly kind.

Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I feel like making an umbrella term for something that can just be said is unnecessary. I said "full" because I'm aware that most people aren't double A. Double A has less syllables than Asexual Aromantic but Full A has even less making it conventionally more convenient to say. Complicating things by making a third A orientation that's actually just an umbrella is obnoxious and unneeded. Much like cishets asking for a flag. Only the minorities get flag/special recognition simply because they have to try harder to be heard.

Lmao what?? Ok wow, and here I was trying to be helpful by explaining to you how members of our community help support each other, since you're new to the community. I see now that you don't actually have any interest in being kind to your fellow aros. Unfortunate!

1 minute ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I don't know what allosexual is.

Allosexual means “not asexual”- So, someone who experiences sexual attraction. For example, in my case, I’m aromantic and bisexual. So, while it is true that my experiences as an allo aro (allosexual aromantic) are very different from the experiences of an aroace, calling aroaces “full A” has a connotation of allosexual aromantics or alloromantic asexuals being “lesser”, like we’re not “real” aspecs or like our experiences aren’t as strong.

I’m sure that wasn’t your intention, since it sounds like something you just weren’t aware of, so I don’t hold it against you or anything, don’t worry. But it is something to be aware of in the future, now that you know.

I would be a little careful of your terminology- Us allosexual aromantics are just as much "a" as anyone else, and lately the aro community is trying to move away from terminology that implies that anyone's orientation is "more" or "less" something than someone else's, as it can be unintentionally pretty hurtful and gatekeepy. But I'm glad you figured things out, and welcome!

26 minutes ago, Alexrobinmc said:

that was a really good explanation! If i can translate it into something i am passionate about it makes a lot more sense i just want to understand it more so i can help my friends, Kind of glad i don't have to worry about all that now haha

Oh good! I'm glad it helped. Here I was worried that maybe it didn't actually make any sense and Yugioh had just left me disconnected from reality, lmao.

Seconding what everyone else said, and I say this as an aro who is very much concerned with not being "tied down" to any one person in my life.

Imagine it like this. Let's say you're entering some sort of tournament that involves teams of two. You and your teammate are really excited for this tournament! You're very loyal to each other, ride or die. You work great together and really balance out each others' strengths and weaknesses. You're honored that your partner chose you as their teammate, and the bond you have runs deep; When you win, it will be together. If one of you goes down, you both lose. You're in this for the long haul, and you talk often about the strength of your bond as partners- There's no one you'd rather have fighting by your side, and you know your teammate feels the same. You're in it to win it, together.

As the tournament progresses, you notice that your teammate seems increasingly tired. Concerned, you question them about it, asking if they're ok; They insist they're fine, even though this kind of exhaustion is unusual for them, which you know because you know them so well as a teammate.

Eventually, your teammate confesses to you: This whole time, they've also been teaming with one of your opponents. All of that stuff about winning together, being the perfect team? That was all a lie. You've been putting in your all, giving 100% to support your partner, talking about how strong your bond is, how you'll win together- And all this time, your partner hasn't been giving their all, because they were busy working for another team without asking or even telling you, their loyal teammate. Not because they were tricked, or blackmailed, or anything like that, but just because... They wanted to. Because they liked someone else better. They could have said from the beginning, "Hey, I'd really like to play for this team too- Is that cool with you?", but instead they lied to you, telling you that you're the only one for them, that you're an unbreakable duo. They didn't care about you enough to be honest with you, or ask how you felt. They did what they wanted, without caring what you wanted; They lied to you, and even compromised their ability to provide what they'd promised- While you'd been putting in full effort to win the tournament, as was the arrangement, they were not, because they were dividing their time and energy between you and someone else, while claiming that they were giving 100%. After everything you did for them, all the genuine effort you went through to win the prize together with them, they let you down by lying to you and not treating you with the same respect you were treating them.

Wouldn't that suck?

1 hour ago, pressAtoQUEER said:

 

I actually don't think that's ironic or that it goes against the point, and I am aware of the criticism of fyeahace. I wasn't disagreeing that aro-content in ace-spaces is going to have an ace-perspective, nor did I say it was universally appreciated representation. That was simply an example of aro-content being easier to find in ace-spaces, not an example of the kind of aro-content people might want in general lgbt+/queer spaces (as I got at in the paragraph after the one you quoted).

Then... What was your point? I’m not saying this to be rude, I’m just genuinely confused as to why you brought it up. No one is saying ace sites don’t mention aros ever, and that’s not the point of this thread, so I’m a little confused as to its relevance. (And, as an allo aro, I’m quite tired of seeing arophobic ace spaces get praised for doing the bare minimum, ngl.)

2 hours ago, pressAtoQUEER said:

 

If you want examples of aromanticism being more visible in ace-focused spaces, go browse the tumblr fuckyeahasexual. It's an ace-focused blog, but they do talk about aromanticism and I believe a couple of mods also identify as aro.

I know you mean well, but the irony here is that FYA actually is strongly disliked by many aros for having posted a lot of subtly arophobic content. It's not just a matter of aces acknowledging that aros exist; They need to be careful to do so in ways that are respectful towards us, especially allo aros. So while I do agree that Mark seems to be... Getting a little lost, FYA is actually a great example of the point they were getting at- That content from primarily ace-centered sources is likely to be skewed in a certain manner that can be unhelpful or even outright harmful to aros.

6 hours ago, Kallie said:

 

 

Oh, I only watched the anime, so I didn't know that :0

I suppose aro Okuyasu would be very cute too, hm.

Yep. The only ones that were actually in the manga are when he comments on how jealous he is that Koichi had a girl confess to him, and when he comments that Reimi's really pretty and it's a shame she died 15 years ago. That's about it. The anime made him kinda sleazy, what with commenting on Josuke's mom and all that... That one was DEFINITELY never in the manga. I was really angry when I saw that they added that.

13 hours ago, Kallie said:

Honestly? Josuke from JJBA. He seemed very confused by the idea of Okuyasu wanting to date and has never expressed interest in anyone, and I can relate to that.

 

I also headcanon Jotaro as aromantic, and would absolutely love them to talk about their aromanticism. They could share their experience together, and because Jotaro already is sort of a mentor for Josuke, he could give him some advice on growing up and just reassure him that things will get better eventually.

I raise you aro Okuyasu. (A lot of the stuff about Okuyasu and romance was completely made up for the anime and I'm still pissed about it tbh...)

A white ring has already been an aro symbol for years. It's not new.

I would like to clarify- If you're talking about squishes when you say "aromantic crushes", not all aros get those. I sure don't! And some alloromantics get them, too! I totally respect your identity, but I just wanted to put that out there for the sake of clearing up any misinformation. I know a lot of people who are new to the aro community get confused by getting introduced to aro terminology and then thinking all aros use or experience such things, so just to set the record straight: No, not all aros get squishes, and that's ok. Yes, some alloromantics get squishes, and that's ok too.

Jugemu Jugemu Gokou-no-Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumitokoro Yaburakouji-no-Burakouji Paipopaipo Paipo-no-Shuuringan Shuuringan-no Guurindai Guurindai-no Ponpokopii-no-Ponpokonaa-no Choukyuumei-no-Chousuke. What's yours?

Also, I do have a question- How many mods are there? Is it just you?

I get that, but it doesn't seem fair to me, especially since @TripleA has proven time and time again that he's unwilling to listen to reason when it comes to the place of arospecs in the aro community. If someone walked in here like "Hey, I think aromantics are just special snowflakes who are actually alloromantic, here's my new No Aros Allowed pride flag, you're all fakers and how dare you speak for me", I'm sure that would not go over well with the moderation, or at least I should hope it wouldn't. So why is this repeated anti-arospec gatekeeping allowed a platform here?

When does "civility" cross the line into hate speech towards other members of our community? I mean, you can say pretty much anything horrible and dress it up in a guise of "civil discussion" if you have enough of a silver tongue. (Which is how a lot of the alt-right recruits, tbh...)

Yeah, honestly, I'm also uncomfortable with how often people have been allowed to get away with openly talking shit about arospec folks, calling them alloromantic, etc. How can we have a welcoming community when this kind of behavior is allowed? Yes, yes, freedom of speech and all that, but when someone is repeatedly and blatantly trying to erase and degrade specific subsections of our community... Why is that allowed to continue?

Huh..? Do we have a food meme? I don't get it... I think that's just an ace thing. Sorry!

1 hour ago, HotRamen said:

Ya I’ve thought about changing it to a-spec but there are some people in there who don’t know what it is so that term can be inaccessible to some especially if they don’t engage in any a-spec communities online. I haven’t really done much advertising that’s something the queer center does but mostly people find out about it by actually going inside the center, I haven’t made flyers or anything, I do plan on making pamphlets or just using aureas and making a nicer looking aromanticism 101 poster to hang up in the queer center though. 

Hmm, if people are mostly only finding out about it by asking, that could be an issue in itself. Many allo aros shy away from the wider queer community due to exclusionism/general fears about being seen as Evil Predatory Sex Maniacs Who Don't Care About Anyone, and I can't imagine cishet aros would be going in at all unless they're involved in activism as allies.

5 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I would say you have to mention them in your advertizing. Also, that maybe be just me and I am aro and ace so not concerned, but eveytime I read ao/ace group I read aroace group, and think you have to be both… Maybe a-spec would be better? Just a suggestion. As I say, I'm not all so I could be wrong (Jot-Aro, what do you think about it?).

I think it depends. For some people there is that connotation, however there are also some people who don't know what "a-spec" means or dislike the term for some reason, so it really depends on the person. Granted, most people I've heard from who take issue with the term "aspec" are ace and to some extent more involved with the ace community than the aro community, so idk.

Make it explicitly clear in your advertising that allo aros are welcome. People are a lot more likely to show up if they're certain that it's an aro group where they're wanted, not just like,  an aroace group where they could potentially sneak in on a technicality.