Momo

This is a really big call. You are a masochist, sir. I'd rather see the world than get married.

Life is a series of Unfortunate Events.

'kay

Every thread is more fun with more people. Threads with no people are just lonely.

1898 I made sure that I grabbed the right number.

To be fair, every server is my home

I suppose it's as good a home as any...

1895 I think she skipped it because I mentioned it in another thread

I've got 1892 problems but a shitpost ain't one.

I mean, this thread is basically shit-post heaven. I feel like the 'count to one million thread' would have done better if one also had to make a sentence out of the number...

New words.

Animals arguing with other animals, yapping our arguments at each others unlistening ears.

Much to my dismay now, I was in several romantic relationships. Most I can now trace to a squish and misguided feelings. I've always wanted a relationship of some form though, it's just taken a while to work out what it would look like. Lets see, first lets discount all the long-distance shenanigans. They were mostly pointless. Then, my first attempt at asking someone out in high school was an embarrassing mess. This was year 12, so I would have been 18 - long after most of my friends had paired up at least once. Next up, the girl with a kid. She was nice, and my first sexual partner. I'm embarrassed i didn't see the signs in this one earlier. I didn't mind the sex but I was more interested in cuddling afterwards, which she always misinterpreted. Anyway, next one wasn't for a few years. Miserable thing that devolved to an unfulfilling sexual relationship within a week and dissolved completely soon after. My longest relationship was with my now-roommate which was around 5 years long. We broke up soon after we'd had some troubles and I worked out I was aro and I wasn't ever going to actually be able to give her what she wanted. We still live together as friends - one day we'll go our separate ways. She's allo so no doubt she'll find someone else and want to move on then if not sooner.

animals are more gay than most humans.

Except alien babies. They are born alien.

I see your false fact and raise you: All babies are born asexual.

Time to insert some new facts

You can fall asleep whenever you like at the cost of being able to wake up when you like. No matter what you try, your body refuses to wake due to external forces. One day you sleep through your own funeral and wake in a box six feet under. I wish I didn't feel sick every morning.

Oops. My bad. All fixed. This is basically the case anyway, just the other way around.

Banned for not agreeing with yourself.

Banned because I third that.

Oh, agreed. I'd rather go camping tgm.

Banned because you don't ban enough.

Case in point, I'm going to have breakfast out tomorrow morning. Hopefully it's a nice day for a walk afterwards. Can I make a list of things I'd not rather do than get married? It'd probably be a shorter list. Anyway, here goes: I'd rather cuddle my cat than cuddle my wife.

Banned because people often listen but almost as often refuse to hear.