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rationalcucumber

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About rationalcucumber

  • Birthday September 11

Personal Information

  • Name
    Mika
  • Orientation
    aro, ace
  • Gender
    agender
  • Pronouns
    he/him, e/em

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  1. My native language is Polish. I have no idea about the southeast Asian take on aromanticism, but I know the book is veeeery queer.
  2. My first name was borrowed stolen from my favourite character at that time, my current name - Mika - I chose because it reminds me of my second favourite character - Nika Mickiewicz, but it's more masculine, it's an alternative spelling of Micah (more fitted for my home country name rules), also in my native language it sounds rad hearing a feminine sounding name combined with masculine pronouns. I found it on one of those baby names websites, and though it still feels weird when someone calls me by it because I'm not used to it, right now I feel it really fits me. What I did was just talking to myself about myself, using the name. I imagined someone calling me over by this name, talking with me using it, etc. And you know when you see someone and their name just fits their personality? I was looking for that feeling when choosing my name.
  3. Boundaries change and she should understand that. You don't have to come out if you don't want to, just saying "I don't feel comfortable with hearing about romance right now" should be enough.
  4. It was translated from Chinese to English, but i think the translators did a great job of explaining foreign parts of culture and practices that otherwise we wouldn't understand. I have also read it in my native language, which was most likely translated from English, and i definitely noticed some inaccuracies, but that's to be expect from a translation of a translation.
  5. I'm reading in english, but what do you mean "mistranslation"? Mistranslation of what? sorry I'm a bit lost as to what you're referring to
  6. So I've been obsessed with the book Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, and there's this one character - Jiang Wanyin that reads very aromantic to me. He's never had a known romantic interest, is generally very work focused and he's famously banned from the matchmakers for his infinitely long list of requirements (that basically equal to a list of traits of an ideal business partner), being insufferable and rude to potential suitors. Also he's always very angry and honestly same, so I just see myself in him So basically it's just me once again saying "he's aro because I'm aro and I said so"
  7. I wanted to say you should ask yourself if you've felt romantic attraction towards anyone and if so, how often (as that's the definition of aromanticism), but I know from first-hand experience it might be difficult to differentiate between the types of attraction. I think friendships, other platonic relationships, or whatever is going on in your current relationship definitely show you do want to commit to a serious relationships; Just not a romantic one. Though I can't speak for you and your experiences, it seems you're aro and visibly romance repulsed, but don't take it as me forcing labels on you. If you want to seek more accurate descriptions of your feelings, you could read up on different orientations and labels under the aro umbrella and see if anything fits :^) But of course your don't have to adopt a million labels just because the internet tells you to, I for example just use aromantic. I also wish you a happy and thoughtful new year :^)
  8. I think even if it is just commitment issues, that's still a valid way of being aro. It's not about the cause, it's about that you currently experience romantic attraction in that way. If you feel comfortable with the label, then I don't see why you couldn't use it. It's just a descriptor used to help you describe your experiences, not a diagnosis
  9. I recommend looking at different (a)romantic orientations, reading their descriptions, and seeing if anything fits your experience. I'd say you don't have to "meet all the criteria for a diagnosis" or something; if you vibe with the label, see it fits you, makes you feel at home, then stick with it. A label is not a permanent thing, things can change, you could for example think some more and arrive at a different conclusion, but that doesn't make your label any less valid. There's nothing wrong with a little experimenting. I can say I have similar experiences as you, and I currently identify as aromantic, but I'm still kinda questioning whether they were crushes or as you said seeking validation (or I just can't differentiate between romantic and platonic because I'm autistic). But aromantic is where I feel at home the most, so unless I make a sudden discovery about myself I don't think I'll change it anytime soon.
  10. I've finished Portal and want to start Portal 2, but sadly I don't have the time right now
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