AroMystic

Hello, and thanks for your comments! I can say I've never looked for a romantic relationship in my life. What happened is that I met some girls, I felt in some way “romantically attracted”, but after a very short period of time I didn’t feel nothing anymore… So at the end I’ve just thought it was more a physical attraction or some kind of very time-limited “obsession”. I know that no-one can put labels, and that I’m the only one who can figure out my orientation, and I'm quite convinced that I'm somewhere in the aro spectrum, but time will tell me more! Also, I don’t feel like a “bad man” (but maybe someone that doesn't know me at all could think that): I’m really open with people I've a relationship with about what I am and what I desire or be able to give. This probably ends in attracting fewer people, but no-one can complain I’m faking something and relationships are healthier. Of course there will always be someone judging me as a “person without love” (which is false, because I give and receive love) or “a limited person that doesn’t want to settle down”: but I’m an adult and I can just ignore these comments :)

Hello everybody! I don’t even know whether I am in the aro spectrum (and if I’m really there), but when I recently came across this topic, I felt like… I was there, and I was excited and relieved at the same time. I give you some highlights, sorry if this will be longer than expected, maybe you can help me figuring out: - I’ve never said “I love you” in my life, even though I I had several relationships - If I see photos of marriages I feel some kind of rejection feelings - Even public displays of romantic affection (especially on social media) give me mixed vibes - In all my past relationships i had a inverse proportionality between romantic investment and sexual activity. When I felt (totally) free I was able to manage things somehow, but when I felt that my freedom was violated I lost every interest - I adore to be lonely (totally alone) for the most of my day, but I also love to share moments with my friends and family. In any case I don’t want a romantic relationship (at least for now) but it’s the case for almost all my life. - I feel my live is generally fulfilling, and I think love is an important part on my life, but not part of what people identifies as romantic love, and that I reject: something that is more similar to sense of possession (“you belong to me” vibe). - Current relation is for me the most satisfying I’ve ever had till now (I turned 40s since quite long time). Even though we hear from each other on a daily basis, she is committed to another person (she says she’s committed to me too). We also share personal and deep thoughts but I see this more as a friendship with no strings attached and high quality sex. I think about her and I’m happy she’s in my life, but I also think that if we involve in a more committed relationship this would be the beginning of the end. What do you think about this? Am I in the aro spectrum, or I’m just another stupid jerk who doesn’t want to commit to a serious relationship? I hope that’s not spam, and I don’t want you to substitute a psychological session, but just get some feedback from you. Thanks in advance, I wish you a pleasant 2023!