James White

1887

Is anyone going to mention ice cream? No? Okay. I won't either. I'd rather step on a Lego brick while getting out of bed every morning for the rest of my life.

You become really good at chemistry, so much that D.C. Makes you a comic book hero: Madam Molybdenum. However, the movie is directed by Joel Schumacher, the same guy who did the 1997 George Clooney Batman movie. I wish I were immune to sunburn.

You can travel freely, but your only accessible mode of travel is a squeaky unicycle. It's nuclear-powered, so you can travel all you want. However the squeaky wheel will drive you mad. I wish the movies accurately portrayed historical sword fighting (without actually injuring the actors).

They all live in your room, and sleep in your bed. ALL of them. I wish I could fly.

@McNuggetManChild Is Paul McCartney a bad choice? I mean if I were into male humans and didn't know that picking a crush is ridiculous, I probably would have picked a Beatle too.

They are, but the only cybernetic implant available is an electric spoon that replaces your entire arm. It has to be charged every thirty seconds, but it takes five minutes to get to full power. I wish African brown widow spiders (Latrodectus geometricus) weren't an invasive species where I live. Specifically IN MY HOUSE.

It's free and efficient because all you get is a plastic baggie of unmarked antibiotics. Or at least something labeled "antibutics" In red crayon. I wish more people knew that antibiotics are not the solution to all illnesses.

Granted. Your new, fabulous hair style brings all the allosexuals to the yard, and you have to wade through an ocean of them everywhere you walk. I wish people would stop asking me if I have a katana in my collection of sparring swords.

YMBAI you have an unhealthy fascination with pistachio ice cream with vanilla swirl and chocolate syrup.

I was thirteen, and there was a girl at school who liked me. We had been "talking" (her flirting, me being confused by my conflicting sexual and romantic orientations) for a full year. She realized the depth of the mistake when she tried to get physically close to me. As we were walking to the cafeteria she snuck up next to me and locked her elbow with mine. She probably thought it would be a bonding experience to walk around with our arms linked like that I instantly broke the lock and pulled my arm free. I had been tense from the moment she showed up, and I was ready for her move. To this day, her attempt is the only thing that's ever really triggered the "fight" part of my fight-or-flight response. She ran away crying, and I just stood there wondering why I had done it.

... I wish @shotinthehand had left me a wish to corrupt as well. Preferably one with sea slugs. I like sea slugs.

True dat @Holmbo. As far as I'm aware, the carrying capacity of ten billion is a loose estimate based on current food and water production rates. If either process becomes more efficient, the capacity will likely increase some anyway. That's assuming climate change doesn't mess too much with the arable land and that the widespread trend of overfishing is halted. However, alternatives may exist that alleviate that food pressure. @Holmbo also noted that a minority of the human population (the sector with comparatively high standards of living) takes up most of the resources. This is the part that actually drove my decision not to have kids. If I had children, I couldn't stand not to give them a high standard of living. They'd take up a disproportionate amount of water, medical attention, food, and basically everything else. Their household appliances would be a constant drain on energy reserves, renewable or otherwise. All because I had to give my kid the best I could get. That's the real reason I'm not going to have any. The term "overpopulation" doesn't fully represent the problem at hand. The problem lies in the unsustainable use of resources by a minority of people. I don't want to be more of an unsustainable consumer than I already am.

... I wish @BionicPi had left a wish for me to corrupt. The top half of this comment feels empty without it. *sigh of longing*

*hides in shame under a cardboard box*

I find the existence of this thread deeply confusing.

Your mind becomes small, uncomplicated, and boring: easy to understand. I wish Komodo dragons (Varanus komodoensis) would lend me some of their awesomeness. They're metal. As a side note, the bacteria-in-the-saliva hypothesis was discredited in 2009. Komodo dragons are actually venomous. No corrupting my wish with bacteria breath LOL

And so the second war of the roses began, this time between the remnants of the Tudor house and the righteous legions of the servants of Papo.

Instead of feeling the negative side effects of sleep deprivation, you constantly feel like you're about to sneeze. The feeling can only be removed by a surgeon, but it comes back every day. Woooo daily rhinoplasty. also YOOOO ADHD BUDDIES I wish more people realized that low-frequency electromagnetic radiation (infrared, microwave and radio) can't give you cancer. i.e. Not all radiation is ionizing.

You can already do that. You'll just die if you do. I wish sea gulls would stop attacking the sea cucumbers at the aquarium where I work.

The United Nations' best estimate for human population growth is at the very least,10 billion by 2100. That's near the estimated carrying capacity of the Earth. Granted, most of that growth will occur in Subsaharan Africa, which will easily be the largest population center by 2050. America, where I live, isn't really having trouble with population growth. However, I'm still not going to make another resource-consuming carbon-emitting job competitor. Many people are going to have kids, and probably enjoy that much more than I do. I don't intend to make their kids' lives even slightly harder by forcing them to compete more than they'll already have to. Just because they aren't in my country doesn't mean they won't compete for the same resources as any prospective children I have. The moral of the story is to never ask an ecology student about the side effects of reproduction

The goals are met early because the Earth's supply of fossil fuels runs out overnight. The global economic and political system collapses as food distribution, lighting, and internet services all lose their main power supply. Only areas reliant on sustainable energy (Iceland, Tennessee Valley, etc.) are able to retain a semblance of their former culture. Everyone is forced to live as subsistence farmers until they eventually gather the resources to build sustainable power stations again. The equality goals are way easier to meet when everyone's equally uneducated, disenfranchised, and at risk! I wish mosquitoes wouldn't bite me.

Banned for being an artificial intelligence.

Life is cellular in structure, responsive to environmental stimuli, motile at some level, Capable of growth and development, dependent on a source of energy, and self-replicating (if you're into that sort of thing). i'm sorry

Aurora Australis