James White

You get ten more wishes, but all of them involve sausage links becoming stuck to your nose, similar to the children's story The Ridiculous Wishes. I wish I could find a parking space at Trader Joe's. If you aren't aware, Trader Joe's is a popular American grocery store chain known for its disgracefully inadequate parking lots.

Depending on which limb, I might take you up on that offer. If it's not my right arm (my sword arm) I can just amputate it and use a prosthetic! I wish I could fulfill my childhood birdwatching dream of seeing a wild elf owl (Micrathene whitneyi).

If you really want to become addicted to pigs, Memphis-style barbecue is WAY more tempting than regular bacon. To me anyway. Maybe I think that because I'm a Southerner myself, but that doesn't make it less true. Also, when I say barbecue, I don't mean Texas or Kansas style. Especially not anything involving a grill. I mean pulled pork that has been cooked in a closed chamber on low heat for at least twelve hours. If someone gives you pulled pork and it needs sauce to go with it, they didn't do it right. Lol ive been vegetarian for three years why am I talking

Breakfast princess approves. also, Bacon county, Georgia. I replaced the word bacon with bacon. Apparently it's a thing.

Is xurkitree one of those newfangled pokey mans?

Harry Bacon would really just be a story about the contents of a refrigerator after a long power outage. Also, To Kill a Mockingbacon

Now we know what the Basilisk had been feeding on all those years. It wouldn't take much bacon either. Most reptiles don't eat anywhere near as much total food as mammals do because they don't spend energy manufacturing their own body heat.

I suspect that romantic people in relationships are staying away from their friends for a very specific reason, and it's not a lack of respect. While it's easy to see the societal pressure on people to treat their SO's like royalty above all others, there's another pressure we may be forgetting. I don't think it's just a difference in value between friends and SO's. I think allos are afraid of being awkward or emotional around their friends. At least in America, there is a strong pressure not to display a lot of emotion. Crying, laughing, and even just talking loudly are sometimes seen as sources of embarrassment when we're not in private. I know people who are uncomfortable saying "I love you" in public, even to family. Honestly, I'm one of them. I just don't feel normal enough when I do it, so I don't. That fear of seeming strange (or worse, emotionally exploitable) can't be exclusive to me, can it? Maybe it's a show of weakness or something, but I know I'm not the only one who isn't comfortable giving my full emotional input around other people. Ironically, this is especially true around friends. I watch myself carefully around my friends to be consistent with the image I think they hold of me. It's like bringing someone home to meet your parents. It's stressful because you want to keep both and are afraid of how they'll interact. Even if I were alloromantic, I wouldn't want to bring my SO and friends anywhere near each other. I'm afraid that after that, both parties would see me in a different light. That's not even necessarily bad, but it's weird and different. That makes it scary. It'd be BECAUSE I like them, and because I want them to like me, that I'd leave my friends behind when the SO wanted time with me. TLDR Version: Maybe people just aren't comfortable being emotional around people by which they ultimately want to be respected.

It doesn't matter how vegetarian I am. I will always be down for a good game of D&B. @Zemaddog Also, Bacon Bad.

Wallace's hernia yodeled youthful yelps. CHEEZ

... UHHHH

If I'm a good villain in a good movie, I can complain that the screenwriters and director underused my talent. Less of a stain on my acting cred than if I'm the face of a movie that sucks. As that villain, I'd at least have a chance not to get type-cast into dumb roles. WYR move to (and have to find work / housing / an education on) South Georgia or Jan Mayen?

Nah. I'd be 900 miles from the nearest land: the island of Île Amsterdam, with a population of around thirty people. I'd be 910 miles from the nearest country, Réunion. Not about that life. 10 million, but nobody is ever allowed to brush your teeth again (including you).

To this day, I've never been in a relationship, or even kissed anyone. I held hands twice, hated both times, and never went back.

I'm 20, but I act like I'm 20

I'd get married to help someone immigrate to my country. WYR trip on a crack in the sidewalk, barely stopping yourself from falling over in view of like forty random people OR accidentally make awkward eye contact with someone on a bus several times? They're sitting in the seat right in front of you and clearly want to be left alone.

The wish-granting genie gives you ten wishes, but all of those wishes each have to be for ten more wishes. Each of the ten new wishes per previous wish must also be for ten wishes. This pattern repeats following the function x=10^n where x is the number of wishes you have after n iterations of wish-granting. For example, after the first iteration of wishing, you have 10^1=10 wishes. Before, at n=0, you started with 10^0=1 wish. At n=45, you have 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 wishes. The genie grants one iteration of wishes every ten seconds for the rest of time, but each wish must always be for ten more wishes. Your brain crashes as you try to comprehend how many wishes you have. Last time I wished for an antique English backsword, So this time, I wish for an antique English backsword, with the condition that it doesn't arrive inserted into me, or anyone else. Or at least have the decency to make it come with a scabbard...

Is there a correlation between @Zemaddog's new profile picture and the influx of KSP references on this thread? Science may never know. also, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force A-Bacons

I'd rather be the unfortunate lion that has to fight someone named @Blackscarlet666 than get married.

Cudgel-Playing, Modernized and Improved; or, the Science of Defense, Exemplified in a few Short and Easy Lessons, for the Practice of the Broad Sword or Single Stick, on Foot. Illustrated with Bacon. By Captain George Sinclair, 1800

You have $100,000,000, but your banker invests it all in wedding dresses, heart-shaped throw pillows, and disgracefully gooey Valentine's Day cards. You get a pretty good return on the investment, but at what cost? I wish I had a private nuclear submarine with an onboard water purification system and an airlock (with diving suits) so I could gather my own food from the seafloor. Also at least 1000 square feet of living space, a kitchen, and reinforced windows. Radiation and fire suppression systems too, please. Crush depth of 1 mile, max speed 30 knots would be great, thanks. Cable cutters on the propeller, conning tower, and dive planes would also be a plus. Edit: I am aware that nuclear power supplies do run down, so some extra lead-lined uranium storage rooms would be a helpful addition

My favorite shade of the color black? ALUMINUM-COLORED. Jk. Can Britain please re-colonize my country? Now-ish?

"There's a beehive in there, and Joe's about to run right into it."

Wow that's saying something.

Who WOULDN'T want to do that? Other than the lactose intolerant, I suppose.