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omitef

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    'Ruined' Romantic Songs

    in Aromantic Pride and Culture

    Posted

    Okay, there's this amazing Sum 41 song called "With Me," which has a great melody, but has the most cringey emo lyrics you'll probably ever hear. It's about this person who can't get over the loss of their crush, and keeps feeling like they're "nothing" without the one they love. I like to listen to it when I am being a cringey emo and getting in touch with my inner Kylo Ren.

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    How are You a 'Bad' Aromantic Spectrum Person?

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    TW: arophobia, acephobia, ableism

    Also collapsing because my reflection is really damn long.

     

    • I felt zero connection to the term "aromantic" when I first found it. I didn't think it was a real thing. I thought it was just crazy cishets making things up because they had commitment issues they didn't want to address. I thought, if you experienced sexual attraction to people, you had to also experience romantic attraction to them, because otherwise "it would be rude." But then I educated myself and realised I was an arsehole. Actually, I was basically phobic about everything before I came out as that thing. Maybe it was my brain's shitty way of being in denial. 
       
    • I've never doubted that romance existed, before or after realising I was arospec. 
       
    • I love well-written romance. My redeeming quality is, I don't love well-written romance because it's romance--I love it because I love seeing characters and people be intimate and vulnerable with each other. Characters are like granite--you have to break them to see what they're made of. But it's good to see characters broken open because they chose to let themselves be open, or because someone got them to open up. 
       
    • I've had a shit ton of shitty romantic relationships and I somewhat regret them. Without them, I probably wouldn't have known I was a romance-repulsed lithro.
       
    • Actually, in my relationships, I'd overcompensate for my romance-repulsion by trying really hard to be romantic. I was the more romantic partner in my first two relationships. I decided to be honest in my third.
       
    • I wouldn't say I'm more excited by making a new friend than by falling in love. Falling in love amplifies my feelings to dangerous levels, so my emotional highs are really, really high, and sometimes I enjoy strategically working out friendships with the other person to maximise those highs, even though I know I'll suffer extreme levels of stress as a side-effect. I think of navigating romance as a high-stakes game, and I like overcoming challenges.
       
    • I've never been perceived as flirtatious when being friendly. My flirting is very deliberate, designed to keep the person interested enough to keep talking to me, but not enough to make them think I want to be in a relationship with them.
       
    • I get crushes fairly easily on all sorts of the wrong people. I suffer at least one crush an year. I hope someday I'll be able to lower the average.
       
    • I know when something's romantic pretty easily, and pretty intuitively. And as hypocritical as it is, I really hate it when someone expresses inconsistency with their romantic feelings. I know it's impossible to expect people to have the same feelings forever--I'm not expecting people, especially alloromantic people, to crush on the same person for years and years and not get into a romantic relationship with them. But I get really annoyed when a crush clearly doesn't want to be friends with me anymore because they've lost platonic/romantic interest in me after two weeks of talking, and then keep pretending like there's absolutely nothing wrong with the friendship. If someone doesn't like me anymore, they should just be upfront about it and tell me, politeness be damned. That's what I do.
       
    • Uh, no, my criteria for crushes is definitely not what I want in a best friend. I want my best friends to be consistent with me, not play emotional games with me.
       
    • I'm sensually and sexually monogamous, so when I generally reserve touch for someone whom I really, really like. There are different levels of friendship for me, and there's a tier of friendship that transcends friendship completely, and it's like, they're my soul sibling and they're super special and I couldn't imagine having that level of intimacy with anyone else. I'm platonically attracted to many people at once, but I wouldn't be able to carry out friendships at the same level of intimacy and commitment that I would for my soul sibling. 
       
    • I have a love/hate relationship with the idea of being single forever. There's just so much stigma and I still have this lingering doubt (and lots of pressure from family and friends) that it's somehow immature for me not to want a romantic relationship, and that I'm committing some moral error/sin by not actively pursuing romance.
       
    • I enjoy romantic gestures that I do for the other person, because I'm interested in the romantic person. When I'm crushing on someone, I get obsessed with trying to make them happy, preferably without over-the-top acknowledgment. I hate hate hate hate it when someone starts getting really gushy because I got them a gift or I said something nice, even in the context of romance-free friendships. 
       
    • Okay no ew big celebrations 

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